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User Topic: Exposing other man
Uhtred
♂ Member
Member # 40392
Default  Posted: 6:52 PM, March 5th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Everyone,

I've seriously considered creating a web page to include the pictures that this ass hat sent to my wife. He sent all of these by email and text and since the phone is in my name I don't see why there would be any legal issues with it.

He's a grandpa and I'd love for someone to search his name and be directed to my site! After all he's ruined in my life I'd like to return the favor. I'll never forgive him so I'd love to have some fun at his expense for once. He had a lot of fun on my dime. He's a "Well Respected" person so I've been told for British Petroleum.

After all, I paid for all the gas that my wife burned up driving to meet him. Hell I even paid for a hotel bill once on a credit card my wife reopened in my name.

What say you SI? Am I going to get in trouble for this? It really brings an evil smile across my lips when I think about it!

I'll never be fully compensated for what has happened but fate is a fickle bitch.


Me: BH 32years old DDay 4-29-13
Her: WW 33 years old
“Yet each man kills the thing he loves
By each let this be heard
Some do it with a bitter look
Some with a flattering word
The coward does it with a kiss
The brave man with a sword”

Posts: 553 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: Houston, Texas
kenny55
♂ Member
Member # 23014
Default  Posted: 7:02 PM, March 5th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Don't do it!!!!!!!!!! I know you want to get back at him but this could backfire big time.

Posts: 455 | Registered: Feb 2009
Ivyivy
♀ Member
Member # 42110
Default  Posted: 8:15 PM, March 5th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I would guess that it might be better not to. I hear you and I understand the drive to hurt him, but in the end, he is not even worth the strength that it takes you to hate him. It just isn't worth the risk. Focus on you - he is not worth your time or thoughts.


Me -BW
Him - WH
LTA
DS - 11 and DD - 15

Posts: 176 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: Northeast
StuckinNJagain
♂ Member
Member # 42140
Default  Posted: 8:19 PM, March 5th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I know exactly what you mean. Similar type situation with WW & OM sans age. Big exec who I would love to take down. However tempting it may seem, you will soon realize, like me, that our issue is with your WS. Your WS broke the vows, promises and most of all, betrayed your trust. It is a bitter pill to swallow. I choke on it regularly. I did confront and contact OM and his BS though. Misery loves company.


BH-46 (me)
WS-44
DD-16
DS-12
First Dday-2/09
Sec Dday-1/14
Married 17 yrs. Together 26

Posts: 58 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: NJ
craig2001
♂ Member
Member # 55
Default  Posted: 8:20 PM, March 5th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

There used to be a website that allowed names to be posted of those caught having affairs. I dont even know if they are around anymore.

Does this guy own any type of business in any way. Would make a hell of a Yelp review.

You will think of something.


Posts: 3565 | Registered: Jun 2002
LostSamurai
♂ Member
Member # 41347
Default  Posted: 8:40 PM, March 5th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You will here SI Staff say, they don't condone revenge.

That is true.

Also, I am not sure what the legal ramifications are there, but that could be consider defamation of Character I believe.

But all said, it is your choice. And if you create a web page, yes it will be traced to you. There is no hiding that.


I am now nothing by a mere Ronin.

Posts: 1029 | Registered: Nov 2013 | From: Maryland
Uhtred
♂ Member
Member # 40392
Default  Posted: 8:43 PM, March 5th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Although I know the issue is with my WW, this is personal. I knew this son of a bitch and it's personal. Any legal ramifications?


Me: BH 32years old DDay 4-29-13
Her: WW 33 years old
“Yet each man kills the thing he loves
By each let this be heard
Some do it with a bitter look
Some with a flattering word
The coward does it with a kiss
The brave man with a sword”

Posts: 553 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: Houston, Texas
Uhtred
♂ Member
Member # 40392
Default  Posted: 8:45 PM, March 5th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I can't help but feel like I own the information he sent. The phones belong to me. One was mine and the others my wife's. I own the accounts.


Me: BH 32years old DDay 4-29-13
Her: WW 33 years old
“Yet each man kills the thing he loves
By each let this be heard
Some do it with a bitter look
Some with a flattering word
The coward does it with a kiss
The brave man with a sword”

Posts: 553 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: Houston, Texas
seenow
♀ Member
Member # 40720
Default  Posted: 8:50 PM, March 5th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

And what if he posted the pics your wife sent to him?


ME: BS mid 40's
Him: WH mid 40's
DDay 5/13 5 year LTA, ONS
together 25 yrs
1 kiddo

Posts: 277 | Registered: Sep 2013 | From: mountain west
MissMouseMo
♀ Member
Member # 38562
Default  Posted: 9:02 PM, March 5th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I understand he urge but he can sue.

You may own the pictures and be within your rights(I have NO clue of the legalities), but he can file and make you defend yourself. That's an expensive risk to me.

And like SI's policy: I don't think cultivating revenge is best for you.


It is the gut-wrenching, down-to-your-soul honesty that helps so much. ~paraphrased from CancunCrushed
"I edit, therefore I am." -BionicGal

Posts: 259 | Registered: Feb 2013
Areukiddingme
♀ New Member
Member # 41950
Default  Posted: 9:26 PM, March 5th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Oh don't we all want a little revenge? I feel your pain. My sister has been talking me down tonight because my Husbands OW is coming to my work place again tomorrow! I always have bad days when I have to see her within throat punching distance. She has several bible verses on her Facebook page and it makes me sick. Don't do anything to jeopardize yourself in any way. I promise you, it's not worth it. My mantra is " I won't look good in prison stripes, I won't look good in prison stripes." Hang in there. You are a better person.

Posts: 38 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: Southeast
Uhtred
♂ Member
Member # 40392
Default  Posted: 9:26 PM, March 5th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

As far as I'm concerned that's for her to own not me.


Me: BH 32years old DDay 4-29-13
Her: WW 33 years old
“Yet each man kills the thing he loves
By each let this be heard
Some do it with a bitter look
Some with a flattering word
The coward does it with a kiss
The brave man with a sword”

Posts: 553 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: Houston, Texas
still-living
♂ Member
Member # 30434
Default  Posted: 9:29 PM, March 5th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I had the same urges of revenge in the beginning but never followed through. My IC talked me out of it.

Now what I see. This magnitude of revenge does not permanently solve your pain. Plus, he could sue you. Another thing, -your legacy, for those looking up to you, how will this impact their perception of you?


BH(me)47
WW 47 FOO Issues
DDay 11/09 Coworker
High School Sweethearts
Married 06/91
8 months TT
Sons 19 and 14

Recovery is building a pyramid of inference from which to climb and see clearer, and heavy usage of the reflexive loop.


Posts: 690 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: Ches
wontdefineme
♀ Member
Member # 31421
Default  Posted: 9:32 PM, March 5th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Couldn't you just sell them or give them to a news organization. Inquiring minds want to know...

Posts: 2131 | Registered: Mar 2011
flup
♂ Member
Member # 21259
Default  Posted: 11:02 PM, March 5th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm sure he can sue for slander... but the charges will stick only if they're NOT true. And, you have to consider how much he'll want to stand up in a courtroom and swear that his testimony about what HE did is the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth.

I'd bet he wouldn't.

I did what you're thinking of... and I'm not allowed to say what the site is - and I may get in trouble for not telling you to not do that.

I did what you want to do, and it gave me back a piece of self-respect. I was no longer in the "reactive" mode - by outing OM I was proactive and called him out in front of everybody. I told OM that I'd take it down only if his BS called me and asked - not if he asked. I needed to know that she knew what a POS he was.


Me: BS 55
Her: fWW 50

D-Day #1: 12 Aug. 2008. WW's 2nd affair w/college teacher.
D-Day #2: 18 June 2009. Affair #1 with neighbor was fall of 2002 - while I was coping with the fallout from 9/11.
Still trying to R.
22 years married


Posts: 427 | Registered: Oct 2008 | From: Ohio
Uhtred
♂ Member
Member # 40392
Default  Posted: 11:14 PM, March 5th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thanks for the responses. I did get my revenge physically. I know a lot of people here don't condone it. I was one of the lucky ones that didn't get in trouble. A good reason was the other man's wife was merciful and in some sort of a way and knew that he deserved it.

I'm not a bible thumper by any stretch of the imagination. I happened to stumble upon this. I realized that I hadn't done all I could do. I'm not going to kill this pos because he's not worth my freedom. I just want the reckoning.

For jealousy is the rage of a man: therefore he will not spare in the day of vengeance.


Me: BH 32years old DDay 4-29-13
Her: WW 33 years old
“Yet each man kills the thing he loves
By each let this be heard
Some do it with a bitter look
Some with a flattering word
The coward does it with a kiss
The brave man with a sword”

Posts: 553 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: Houston, Texas
theansweris42
♀ New Member
Member # 40861
Default  Posted: 12:57 AM, March 6th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

A girl I know who makes less-than-optimal choices in dating partners met and had a brief relationship with a man who was in the country illegally and conducting business illegally (and also married to a woman in his home country, but failed to mention that fact to this girl). When she found out, she sought revenge by contacting immigration and having him deported from the country.

A few months later, a website called "thisisgirliknow.com" popped up on the Internet. It had unflattering pictures of her, and a lot of personal information about her that could potentially jeopardize her career in the mental health system (stuff about her being in therapy, medicine, FOO issues, you name it...).

She flipped, called a lawyer, and the lawyer said that, basically, there was nothing she could do to get the website taken down. Luckily, I guess the guy decided that paying the couple of dollars for a domain name per month wasn't worth it. I just checked and the website has since disappeared.

Regardless, revenge is dangerous because you never know how the other person will retaliate. Not worth it in my view.

[This message edited by theansweris42 at 12:59 AM, March 6th (Thursday)]


Posts: 30 | Registered: Oct 2013 | From: Across the pond.
LostSamurai
♂ Member
Member # 41347
Default  Posted: 8:15 AM, March 6th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

So how did you get your revenge physically? Did you actually knock him around a couple of times?


I am now nothing by a mere Ronin.

Posts: 1029 | Registered: Nov 2013 | From: Maryland
refuz2bavictim
♀ Member
Member # 27176
Default  Posted: 9:01 AM, March 6th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I did get my revenge physically.

And that wasn't enough?


BS:ME DDay: 7/18/09 Last of TT 7/11/10
MOW's EA/PA all were my "friends" but one


Posts: 2372 | Registered: Jan 2010
Uhtred
♂ Member
Member # 40392
Default  Posted: 10:45 AM, March 6th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Lost Samurai, I won't go into it so much here but yes I did "knock" him around.

Refuz, It wasn't enough.


Me: BH 32years old DDay 4-29-13
Her: WW 33 years old
“Yet each man kills the thing he loves
By each let this be heard
Some do it with a bitter look
Some with a flattering word
The coward does it with a kiss
The brave man with a sword”

Posts: 553 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: Houston, Texas
Topic Posts: 64
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