[This message edited by Ladyogilvy at 12:54 AM, March 8th (Saturday)]
He's a fucking grandpa with grand kids my kids ages. His kids are my age. Fuckem, fuckem all. He called down the thunder and he definitely felt the sting of my hands and will continue to do so as long as I get a chance. It will never even the score I know. But I do hate this mother fucker and he is my enemy forever. I don't have an enemy in the world except this guy and my wayward wife.
Check out the statute of limitations for assaulting someone in your state before you do this!
You beat him. You lost your finger because of it. Can he still press charges of assault if he so chooses?
If I were you, I wouldn't poke the hornet's nest.
I do understand the rage.
You have already humiliated him and handed out a severe beating. Your wife was undoubtedly turned on by 2 men fighting over her. Assign the fault to the appropriate person.
One of the children asked a question that puzzled him, “grandfather, why do people fight?”
“Well”, the old man replied, “we all have two wolves inside us, you see. They live in our chest. These two wolves are constantly fighting each other.” By this time, the childrens’ eyes had grown as big and bright as the moon. “In our chests too, grandfather?” asked a second child. “And in your chest too?” asked a third. Grandfather nodded, “yes, in my chest too”. He continued, “there is a white wolf and a black wolf. The black wolf is filled with fear, anger, envy, jealousy, greed, and arrogance. The white wolf is filled with peace, love, hope, courage, humility, compassion, and faith. They battle constantly.”
Then he stopped. The child who asked the initial question couldn’t handle the tension any longer. “Grandfather, which wolf wins?” The old Cherokee simply replied, “the one that we feed.”
I do live with the concern that he could show up at my door one day with a gun. You never know what a man will do when you take away his livelyhood, career or family. Regardless of what side of a transaction he is on. Not what he did was anything good to me, but be careful what you wish for and do. It could come back to haunt you. Not only that but you look so bitter and friends and family my alienate you even more because they don't want to seem to be associated with the additional drama you're causing. People are uncomfortable with infidelity would rather not associate with you than support you I found. I've lost many friends because of this, so trust me. Find another outlet for the anger, because that's what it is...just anger. Personally my outlet is hockey. I get to pounce on others a few times a week and it's perfectly acceptable. Maybe take up boxing or something. You would be surprised at the release.
[This message edited by SeanFLA at 9:07 AM, March 8th (Saturday)]
"You never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have." ~ Bob Marley
When I put the information I had up, OM called me squealing about his relatives calling him and asking what's that all about. Parents, kids, neighbors, etc. He threatened to get a lawyer, and I'm not sure if he actually consulted one - because I ignored the POS, and he called back six months later begging me to take it down. Nope. Not until his BS called me.
I outed OM#2 not only to his wife via registered mail, but in a face-to-face meeting. Then, when he got pissy about that, I outed him to the community college he taught at. Then when he continued to attempt contact with fWW, I called the sexual harrassment police at the college about it.
Not a peep from either since.
I am a Marine, and am quite comfortable with my violent side, but I let my head prevail. You should use your head also.
D-Day #1: 12 Aug. 2008. WW's 2nd affair w/college teacher.
D-Day #2: 18 June 2009. Affair #1 with neighbor was fall of 2002 - while I was coping with the fallout from 9/11.
Still trying to R.
22 years married
However, I would definitely consult a lawyer first and make sure there is nothing illegal about it. I have no idea about the laws concerning this.
The advice that I'm getting is good. I see those that are for letting it go and those that support all out humiliation. I am definitely going to do something for sure.
I'm going to throw caution to the wind and go for it. He deserves it for sure. I know my wife owns 50% of the carnage and she'll get hers from the karma bus. This guy was supposed to be a friend. He will learn that I'm driving the karma bus right now.
I get the revenge thing. I get it. I did it. I'm a woman but if there were no laws and someone would give me 5 minutes with any OW I've ever had to deal with I would turn them into human pudding. But life doesn't grant us that.
Some of us are more revenge oriented than others, people who are not wired this way have a hard time understanding it. It's as deep a need as breathing. Is it wrong or right or justified, it doesn't matter because it's like some of us can't escape the force. I have been this way my whole life, even as an adorable, shy, mild mannered, little 6 yr old girl. I am completely passive and docile, but an eye for an eye is a part of my make-up. So I get it.
My rule is do nothing illegal or overtly damaging to anyone innocent surrounding the situation. But it's not up to me to protect some whores kids or whether or her reputation or whether or not her grandma looks bad after she's exposed for the POS she is. I think these kind of people get away with stuff their whole life because they bank on knowing most people are more compassionate than they are.
You need to take a step back and rethink and get strategic. I'll give you an example: I found out my ex OW (this was at the time we were married) had been dodging a bunch of creditors in another state for years. A simple phone call to all of them on her whereabouts caused her to end up back in court for 10s of thousands of dollars. For little effort on my part she got some consequences SHE DESERVED. People who fuck around with other people's spouses usually have other big skeletons in their closet. I also exposed her to her fiancé of course. And if I find out this ho-worker had an A with my husband all her skeletons are going to come crashing down around her too. It's things THEY DESERVE. Did that other woman deserve to fuck with my marriage and steal money from credit cards and all that? Nope.
I know revenge is not advocated on here. I agree with that in a way. I almost don't think of it as revenge. But more like 1 + 1 CAUSES 2.
Whatever, but for your own sake please take a deep breath and try to step back and refocus. No not Refocus, that implies simply focusing again in the same manner as before. take a whole new position and then look at it.
My mother was always the OW
ExWH in first marriage had LTA. DDAY was November 2003.
2/2013 Busted him at strip club.
Porous boundaries w/ ho-worker
I had these same thoughts, to the point that I even bought the domain name. The phone and internet were in my name as well, so anything she sent, I owned.
I had the entire scenario planned. I was going to get all of her FB friends saved, as well as her graduating daughter (who was 18). Once the website was made I was going to send them all the link without her knowing. She'd find out, of course, but AFTER everyone else had seen it.
I had even planned to do this 3 days before her daughter's graduation. That way, all of the graduation class and the parents in the stands would know. It would have been a complete ruination.
I planned this out meticulously. I had started gathering the friends' fb pages. I purchased the domain name. It was (OW'slastname)pig. Her last name is a word, and this worked perfectly for a website.
In the end, I didn't. Why? Lots of reasons. First, I didn't want ANY blowback, and once you do this, you can't stop it. No, no one had anything on me even remotely like this, but that doesn't mean I wouldbe be watched, harassed, etc. I didn't want or need it.
Second - was this erasing the A? No, it wasn't. After all was said and done, I would be right where I am now.
There are days when I still wish I would have done it, but it doesn't matter. She's fallen apart on her own, without my help. I'm sure she'll keep falling until she is in a ditch begging for help.
There's nothing in this really. It sounds fun, but in the long run, what changes for you? Nothing, and you've possibly invited a lot of crazies into your life looking to 'avenge' good old grampa.
My hot head has cooled for the time being thanks to my posting and everyone's advice. I will get my ducks I'm a row first before I throw caution to the wind. The last thing I want is to be separated from my family because I couldn't leave well enough alone.
Someone mentioned that I have a lot of anger and hate in my heart. You are correct that I do and the flame burns bright for this man and this man only. I' never was an angry man until that weasel made his way into my life.
I feel that my anger is righteous as is all of ours who have suffered at the hands of infidelity. I look at this additional stab as a side project not to be all consuming. I just want to do something that may make me smile and see a little "fun" poked at him.
I've got some guesses, but they probably say more about me than about you. I'd really like to know how you support your position morally. You don't owe me an answer, but I'd appreciate one.
I'll start with Proverbs 6 vs 32-35
32: But whoso committeth adultery with a woman lacketh understanding: He doeth destroyeth his own soul.
33: A wound and dishonor shall he get; and his reproach shall not be wiped away.
34: For jealousy is the rage of a man: therefore he will not spare in the day of vengeance.
35: He will not regard any ransom; neither will he rest content,
I can't claim myself as a Christian but I will say that the bible has a lot of truths and morality based advice. When I saw this it resonated with me because it is exactly how I feel. I take it with a grain of salt because in turn Jesus asks us to turn the other cheek.
I can't imagine feeling any different than I do about it. It's how I'm wired I guess. If you piss on me on purpose I'm going shit all over you in the worst way I can. This will be my first time to have to shit on anyone in this way.
Never once in my life have I ever had a reason to hold a grudge until now. Forgiveness is reserved for those deserving of it. I've made no enemies that I'm aware of. I've never met a stranger and would give the shirt off my back to any in need. This is the code I live by and what I learned from my grandfather and it will never change.
I don't sit around and let this guy consume me. I want to make myself clear. I don't give it much attention at all because my spare time is spent with my family and trying to reconcile with my wife. Eventually though I plan on nailing the last nail in the coffin so to speak and put it to rest. It will take all of 5 minutes to do and I'll have a laugh and may drink a beer or two while I'm doing it. I just need to shore up a few things and make sure it doesn't land me in the clinker or in an expensive legal battle. I wouldn't risk my family, job, or my finances any more than I already did the first go around.
Seriously, bro'.. the more anger and focus you give this wussy-ass, the more personal power you are handing over.
I'm a big, strong, tough guy and I'd never lay a hand on any OM since I wouldn't want any of their stench, STD ridden filth on my hands.
I feel total pity towards how pathetic, low life, bottom feeding scum any so-called "man" would be if they can only poach unavailable, taken and married women that are dysfunctional and broken. There is no spine or manliness there.
These low-lives deserve no attention. By giving them attention, even negative, you are just empowering their situation. Yes, even getting the shit kicked out of them, I see their type bragging about it and how deep a "wound" they scored.
Letting them rot in their own stench/stink and solitude is the real way. I pity/feel sorry for them, actually and they aren't worth even 1/10th of a second of concern or anger.
Just my opinion...
[This message edited by ladycody at 6:59 PM, March 10th, 2014 (Monday)]