Thank you for posting this.
I hope for my kids sake my STBXWW gets to where you are. I offered R and she did it again. I made one last offer and she declined. She asked for the divorce first after I warned her.
She still blames me for "coming down like a sledgehammer" on her.
Now I'm doing personal growth separately and we're divorcing. She wanted me to be a doormat so she could cake eat, so my growth is partly on not being a doormat anymore. Now I understand she has neither OM nor me. But she still hasn't hit rock bottom yet, so now it's "take the H to the cleaners through the lawyer" time.
All while she says how sorry she is "for all the pain". Yet she doesn't stop dealing pain. Bizarre.