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Newest Member: hewaseverything (44947)

New Beginnings Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Dating advice..
MelisssaZZZ
♀ Member
Member # 25953
Default  Posted: 5:03 AM, March 9th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Update

Hmmm and I was so hopeful it was moving in right direction - what a mistake!

So after the last hopeful date, we talked about when to meet next etc. so he is busy and won't be able to see me next week, maybe week after.

So I got upset / annoyed etc and said that it seems we are not on the same page, that I am looking for a guy who wants relationship and he does not seem to be that guy. That I will continue looking for that guy who wants relationship and wished him luck in his search.

He wished me luck in my search and that was it!


Me BS - 37
WH 39
1 child - 5yrs
married 5 yrs, together 7
DD1 midmarch 09
DD2 early june 09
some more DD's of course - cannot bother to list
LTA (2 yrs) fully?? finished mid Aug 09
Status: Divorced Oct 2011

Posts: 1234 | Registered: Oct 2009 | From: London, UK
fireproof
♀ Member
Member # 36126
Default  Posted: 6:28 AM, March 9th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I am sorry it didn't work out but I will offer since I have heard this repeatedly from people - you define what you need.

For example if he wasn't meeting your needs than that is ok but truly if he had plans then that isn't about you. If it is about want to spend more time with him then it is nice to simply say you were hoping you could spend more time together and see what he says.

I don't know if this makes sense but to put this to the level of having a relationship puts pressure on you both after just a few dates. Give it time. But if you know after dating what you want then I think you did the right thing for you.

Good luck and you might have dodged a bullet if he is only separated.


Posts: 974 | Registered: Jul 2012
MelisssaZZZ
♀ Member
Member # 25953
Default  Posted: 7:16 AM, March 9th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yes, I was very childish in approaching this, but really, we had been 'dating' for around 2 months.. And going backwards. It's not like he could not meet me because he was traveling etc, just busy. I mean it's fine, but I have my needs etc and I don't think it's unreasonable to expect things moving somewhere after like 8 (or so) dates...

And hmm, I also work full time + have my dd full time, + do real estate projects (which take time like 2nd job). And I have time for him.. And have been immensely flexible accommodating few last minute changes etc.


Me BS - 37
WH 39
1 child - 5yrs
married 5 yrs, together 7
DD1 midmarch 09
DD2 early june 09
some more DD's of course - cannot bother to list
LTA (2 yrs) fully?? finished mid Aug 09
Status: Divorced Oct 2011

Posts: 1234 | Registered: Oct 2009 | From: London, UK
PhoenixRisen
Member
Member # 35912
Default  Posted: 9:40 AM, March 9th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

MelissaZZZ, I went out with the exact opposite of your guy but had the exact same "off" vibe and ended the same
In my situation, he was all about Roman hands and Russian fingers (love that phrase) BUT we never actually had a dinner date or talk meaningfully (only grab a beer on weekdays). So physically he was all in, but emotionally and spending time together: he was not there. After date #4 I wasn't ready to go further physically ...I never heard from him again.

So I'm guessing he didn't want a relationship either, just a bed-buddy.


Posts: 485 | Registered: Jun 2012
Topic Posts: 24
Pages: 1 · 2

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