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User Topic: found videos of wife cheating
Getting to Happy
♀ Member
Member # 35200
Default  Posted: 9:08 PM, March 8th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I have no words except that I am sorry that you had to look at that video. Really sorry.

I found a pic of Mr. Happy and his ho-worker post fuck...the worst day of my life!

And like you, I found it on HIS phone, why would he save something like that...

I hope that you are doing a little better with some support from the SI Menz. They are a great group of guys.

Take care friendincrisis.


WS him
BS me DD's 26, 25' DS 23
dd1 1-1-10, dd2 Mothers Day 2011, dd3 3-12-12 Hawaii trip with ho-worker...

Never forget what is worth remembering or remember what is best forgotten.
Unknown


Posts: 1138 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: La La Land
ButterflyGirl
♀ Member
Member # 38377
Default  Posted: 9:09 PM, March 8th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I think accusing you of cheating is typical unremorseful wayward behavior. My STBX accused me as well. It's a blame shift, trying to justify her actions. I'm not sure how long ago D-day was for you, maybe she's just in shock from being caught, but if she has any hope for reconciling, she needs to stop with the bullshit immediately and own up to the CHOICES she made. It wasn't some "oops," and she doesn't get to justify it with any excuses about you or the marriage. She made a choice to do those things, to lie to you and manipulate you, and she can't put that on anyone else or anything else except herself..

I know it's hard, but try to be strong and take care of yourself. It's back to basics right now. Eat and sleep and get some exercise.

Hugs..


xBW~ 35
Two of the most darling sons ~ 10 and 7

Posts: 2007 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: Florida, USA
scarednbroken
♀ Member
Member # 41961
Default  Posted: 10:57 PM, March 8th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My WH has a video library of his exploits and his enjoyment of pics on his phone - yes I have seen the first few seconds of the vids he made and received. And I at them.


BS: Me 44 WH: 50 Kids: 13, 15, 17, 28 DD: every yr Ow: tons Status: fed-up. A woman should never invest in a relationship she wouldn't want for her daughter, nor should she allow any man to treat her in a way she would scold her son for

Posts: 417 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: Midwest
phoenixrise
♀ Member
Member # 41745
Default  Posted: 11:03 PM, March 8th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

No but I think if I actually saw it in person (my situation happened out of state) it would be a deal breaker I can imagine visual is 10 times worse than hearing about it...totally doesn't make sense does it!


"The grass is greener on the other side because of all the shit that is used to fertilize it"
Him: WH after 8 yrs M...wow to think he held my hand during labor twice
Me: thought I was a cool loving wife
D Day: 7 mos ago RIP soul

Posts: 212 | Registered: Dec 2013 | From: Dante's Inferno
theansweris42
♀ New Member
Member # 40861
Default  Posted: 11:19 PM, March 8th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hello friendincrisis,

I discovered my partner's cheating by finding movies of him having sex with OW on his computer desktop.

I was completely traumatised. It was about 6 months ago.

I can completely empathise with how you are feeling right now.

Couldn't eat, couldn't sleep, we went for a drive to the ocean the day after because I couldn't bear to be in bed any longer sobbing. I can remember, as we sat near the sea, all I could imagine was wishing for a massive tsunami to come and swallow my partner whole. I told him this. He understood.

It was a dark time.

My partner has, in the past six months made a complete turnaround and has "done the work" to regain my trust and prove himself to be worthy.

I'm still consumed with rage occasionally, but I can honestly say, it does get better. Six months out, I feel almost normal and I can honestly say that our relationship is stronger than it ever was.

Of course, I still haven't regained trust completely and I don't know what the future holds, but it does get better.

Sending you strength in what has probably been the worst time of your life.


Posts: 30 | Registered: Oct 2013 | From: Across the pond.
friendincrisis
♂ New Member
Member # 42623
Default  Posted: 4:53 PM, March 9th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thank you all
I am trying to make sense of it all
I Love Her witha ll my heart and soul before her no one really meant anything serious to me I am so in tune with her that I can't be around her without being aroused she is my everything and until this I thought I was hers can't get the videos and what transpired on them out of my mind
Jan.24 2014 is definately the worst day of my life
I need this outlet so I appreciate all of your support
My family is about 400 miles away and I don't want to tell them because it wouldn't be pretty and there would be no hope for us at all if they knew I come from a large family and they wouldn't let it go if we visited all my brothers and sisters are nosey which is the biggest reason i moved away I like to keep tomyself and I know none of you know who I am so that makes it easier to confide in you all so this really does help I feel somewhat better already and hope to make progress as far as me mand my wife it may get better it may not but one thing I can tell you is from now on I will not let my feelings just eat me up she will know when I have a problem I asked her today if she was having sex or masterbating because when I got home I could smell her and she said she didn't but she was very turned on so maybe that could be the cause of it she had cleaned the house and she was here with my daughter all day so who knows but I won't be a patsy thats for sure

Posts: 15 | Registered: Mar 2014 | From: Iowa
friendincrisis
♂ New Member
Member # 42623
Default  Posted: 5:06 PM, March 9th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Is anyone else fom the midwest

Posts: 15 | Registered: Mar 2014 | From: Iowa
rachelc
♀ Member
Member # 30314
Default  Posted: 5:13 PM, March 9th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Me. From your state.


his Ddays: 2/10, 7/11
my Ddays: 1/12, 4/12 broken NC 12/12

me: 48
him: 51
4 kiddos in lower 20's

ôSlide the weight from your shoulders and move forward. You are afraid you might forget, but you never will. You will forgive and remember."


Posts: 4536 | Registered: Dec 2010
friendincrisis
♂ New Member
Member # 42623
Default  Posted: 5:20 PM, March 9th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Sweet nice to meet you I was beginning to think I was the only one

[This message edited by friendincrisis at 5:20 PM, March 9th (Sunday)]


Posts: 15 | Registered: Mar 2014 | From: Iowa
Ostrich80
Member
Member # 34827
Default  Posted: 6:18 PM, March 9th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Friend...good Lord, I cannot imagine how you must feel. I have no advice. Just wanted to welcome you. I'm so sorry, no one should have to have those images burnt in their brain. That's a tough situation your in as you know. Just keep.posting as much as you need, for support, or just to vent. Peace to you.


BS..me
WS..him
Been with him over half my life
4kid
DD1 10-01-09 DD2 02-12-12 discovered it never ended
OW..nothing special. Just your average skank
Status..#$%@????

Posts: 4741 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: midwest
nekorb
♀ Member
Member # 40306
Default  Posted: 6:34 PM, March 9th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((Hugs))

I'm so sorry. Mind movies of the crap they describe to each other in text's is bad enough. I can't imagine if I actually saw it.

Truly awful. I'm sorry you experienced it. Definitely lock it away in case you need it in the future.


Me: BS 44; Him: WH 47 aka CAT- colossal asshat; Married 22 years
D-day: July 17, 2013, with TT to follow
D filed July 16, 2014, 363 days later than I should have


Psalms 27:14
Wait for The Lord; be strong and take h


Posts: 1732 | Registered: Aug 2013
Dobegirl
♀ Member
Member # 41837
Default  Posted: 6:40 PM, March 9th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((friendincrisis)))
I can't even imagine that kind of devastation. I am so sorry.


Me- BS 44 Always faithfull
Him- WS 44
2 mo. EA/PA with 25 yr. old slut that stroked his ego, online profiles, CL ads
Married 8 years-No kids together
DDay-11/21/12
False R many different times fromJan/13 till Dec/13
Divorcing

Posts: 148 | Registered: Dec 2013 | From: Northern Indiana
Runningaway
♀ Member
Member # 30707
Default  Posted: 7:27 PM, March 9th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I saw a video of a "chat" where my ex was masturbating for his OW. It was disgusting.

After I got over the shock (close to a year, seriously) It helped me move on. I knew I would never ever be able to love him again in any romantic sense. The thought of that video, and the planning that went on between them to set those chats up makes me laugh now. They were truly pathetic.

No thanks, I'll go find myself a grown up to spend the rest of my life with.

Don't rush into any decisions right now. "I don't know" is a perfectly reasonable answer to any question.

I'm so sorry you're going through this!
(((((friendincrisis)))))


What doesn't kill us makes us smaller. - Mario

Posts: 258 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: Canada
toonces
♂ Member
Member # 25949
Default  Posted: 9:37 PM, March 9th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

friendincrisis,

i'm sorry to welcome you to the club.


Me - BS
Her - WS
affair length - 6 months with MM
married since 7/92
d-day 4/2002
NC violated 4/02, 6/02, 8/02

Posts: 132 | Registered: Oct 2009 | From: Massachusetts
friendincrisis
♂ New Member
Member # 42623
Default  Posted: 12:21 PM, March 10th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Has anyone used spokeo does it work
I would like to see her texts
Recently

Posts: 15 | Registered: Mar 2014 | From: Iowa
MediumRare
♂ Member
Member # 35128
Default  Posted: 1:49 PM, March 10th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yep! To add insult to injury, she was wearing lingerie/outfits that she made me buy several years prior but refused to wear them for me.

For me, I'm kinda glad since I could see minute man, basement dweller that is hung like a gnat in his full glory. Pure comedy with a big boost in self-esteem for me to boot... really put things into perspective.


BS (ME): 44
WS(HER): 42
9 years
OM#1- 20-something loser, stole bunch of my things after she had sex with him in our bed (no condoms, STDs)
OM#2- 24 year old, unemployed loser, lives with mom & dad
DDay 1/2012
NC 3/20/2012
SGASDay 4/1/2012

Posts: 712 | Registered: Mar 2012 | From: California
friendincrisis
♂ New Member
Member # 42623
Default  Posted: 9:50 AM, March 14th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I have decide to start packing my things
My wife doesn't understand why I'm leaving
But I don't understand why she thinks it's ok to still have contact with him
Thank you to everyone in here don't knoe if I'll be back I need alot of time to process

Posts: 15 | Registered: Mar 2014 | From: Iowa
Neverwudaguessed
♀ Member
Member # 41884
Default  Posted: 10:03 AM, March 14th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I am so sorry that you have been put in this position. I know that you are devastated by what she has done. PLEASE do NOT stop reaching out to the people here on SI; it real does provide support that one cannot get anywhere else. We are all here for you. In addition, please look for a good counselor to help you process what has been done to you. someone who has experience with infidelity since it a unique trauma. (((HUGS)))


BW: 44 Me
WH:48
DDay1 9-9-13 (18th Wedding Anniversary) 6 wk EA, 1 wk PA
DDay2: 10-25-13 EA/PA with same OW 12 1/2 years ago for 3 months
OW: XGF Predator who never stopped pursuing WH
DS 13
DD 11

Posts: 423 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: New York
UpInTheAirNow
♂ Member
Member # 37777
Default  Posted: 10:40 AM, March 14th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

FTS. Pack her bags. If she won't stop contacting him then she can leave. You stay put.


ME 44
WW 50
DDay 6/13/12
Married 17 years, together 27 yrs.
Its a deal breaker!

Posts: 98 | Registered: Dec 2012 | From: NY
mavroza
♀ New Member
Member # 42778
Default  Posted: 11:01 AM, March 14th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I agree with Up in the Air.
It should be her who packs her cloths.

Posts: 5 | Registered: Mar 2014
Topic Posts: 44
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