Since STBXH moved out and we're losing the house, the kids and I now live with my parents. My Dad loves taking the boys to their scouting meetings and is helping pay their fees.
Tonight I took my DS11 to the troop Court of Awards while my Dad took DS8 to his pack meeting. DS11 received his Scout rank which includes a pin for me to wear on a red ribbon. He was so proud to put the pin on me and had such a great time. It was the first Joy I'd felt in a long time.
SASTBXH did not attend. He probably didn't know DS11 was getting an advancement. Not my problem. He gets the same troop emails I do. Plus, he was probably at IC related to his acting out and recent arrest. He'll experience it via Facebook like any number of my acquaintances and distant relatives.
The point is, I experienced Joy again, even if it was just for a moment. And it came from an activity that DS11 and I could not have done if we were still with STBXH. Hopefully, this is just a glimpse of things to come.
Two steps forward and one step backwards, is still progress.
Two steps forward, One step Back.
I wish I would have tried to put XWH in a place of uncle status or something,, our healing would have begun much quicker, and the kids wouldn't be so upset now when he missed visitations and their activities because he puts OW first. They could have just had my Dad and my nephew as their people to model and look up to.
Enjoy the time with your Dad, sons, and when you post on fb, custom who sees it and don't include WS.
[This message edited by homewrecked2011 at 3:22 AM, March 11th (Tuesday)]
I know it is hard (it still is for me) but if you don't expect much from your STBXH then you won't get hurt as much. Waywards are just simply broken and are not going to be able to provide the positive interaction that your kids deserve. They have a great mom and gram-pa that are making the difference for them!
4 kids all adults.
Married 22+ years.
I have moved on and life is good!
You're still on a rollercoaster, but it's slowly starting to smooth out.
The best thing about hitting rock bottom is that everything after that looks fucking fabulous