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Divorce/Separation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: It's Getting Better
Gemini71
♀ Member
Member # 40115
Default  Posted: 10:46 PM, March 10th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I've always wanting my boys to be in scouting, but the younger kids need a parent to attend with them, and I couldn't be in three places at once. STBXH would take them to meetings for a while, then quit. Plus it can be expensive.

Since STBXH moved out and we're losing the house, the kids and I now live with my parents. My Dad loves taking the boys to their scouting meetings and is helping pay their fees.

Tonight I took my DS11 to the troop Court of Awards while my Dad took DS8 to his pack meeting. DS11 received his Scout rank which includes a pin for me to wear on a red ribbon. He was so proud to put the pin on me and had such a great time. It was the first Joy I'd felt in a long time.

SASTBXH did not attend. He probably didn't know DS11 was getting an advancement. Not my problem. He gets the same troop emails I do. Plus, he was probably at IC related to his acting out and recent arrest. He'll experience it via Facebook like any number of my acquaintances and distant relatives.

The point is, I experienced Joy again, even if it was just for a moment. And it came from an activity that DS11 and I could not have done if we were still with STBXH. Hopefully, this is just a glimpse of things to come.


Edited to correct stupid typos.

Two steps forward and one step backwards, is still progress.


Posts: 1657 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: Illinois, USA
ArkLaMiss
♀ Member
Member # 14918
Default  Posted: 10:52 PM, March 10th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Congrats. Job well done!


Just HOW stupid do you think I am, exactly?

Posts: 1178 | Registered: Jun 2007
Gemini71
♀ Member
Member # 40115
Default  Posted: 2:54 AM, March 11th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

And two hours later, I want to rant a rave about OW/xBFF and SASTBXH. Roller coasters suck, but at least I know that the good is starting to return, and the lows are more anger than sad.


Two steps forward, One step Back.


Edited to correct stupid typos.

Two steps forward and one step backwards, is still progress.


Posts: 1657 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: Illinois, USA
homewrecked2011
♀ Member
Member # 34678
Default  Posted: 3:21 AM, March 11th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Take it from me,,,,,,try really hard to move on w/o x in the picture... I tried really hard to "over inform" him of all the kids activities, because I was living in the dream world that he could ever be as awesome as my own Dad... Now I find out, the kids really didn't want him at their stuff anyway. Now XWH brings OW (my previous "friend") and her kids to everything.

I wish I would have tried to put XWH in a place of uncle status or something,, our healing would have begun much quicker, and the kids wouldn't be so upset now when he missed visitations and their activities because he puts OW first. They could have just had my Dad and my nephew as their people to model and look up to.

Enjoy the time with your Dad, sons, and when you post on fb, custom who sees it and don't include WS.

[This message edited by homewrecked2011 at 3:22 AM, March 11th (Tuesday)]


me BS 52
him - 46
married 15 years DIVORCED 10 31 12
children - ds15 ds12
d-day 12-19-11
I gave a 24hour ultimatum then went to attorney next day
Divorce filed

Posts: 2065 | Registered: Jan 2012
bigskyblues
♂ Member
Member # 36759
Default  Posted: 4:32 AM, March 11th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Gemini, congratulations to DS11 for his great accomplishment! Also kudos to you and gram-pa for helping your DS's down the scouting path. What a great way to learn good values, and to experience positive role models.

I know it is hard (it still is for me) but if you don't expect much from your STBXH then you won't get hurt as much. Waywards are just simply broken and are not going to be able to provide the positive interaction that your kids deserve. They have a great mom and gram-pa that are making the difference for them!

Congrats
BSB


BH 50s
xWW 50s

Dday1 7-2012
Dday2 8-2012
Divorce 9-2012

4 kids all adults.

Married 22+ years.

I have moved on and life is good!


Posts: 200 | Registered: Sep 2012
Pass
♂ Member
Member # 38122
Default  Posted: 2:32 PM, March 11th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

That's great, Gem. Eventually there will be more happy moments like this. They could even start to become downright commonplace!

You're still on a rollercoaster, but it's slowly starting to smooth out.


Loyal spouse: Me; Disloyal spouse: The Princess
Two sons: Now 11 and 14
DDay: Nov 15, 2012
Separated: Mar 2, 2013 after 17 year marriage, now divorcing!

The best thing about hitting rock bottom is that everything after that looks fucking fabulous


Posts: 1833 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: Ottawa, Ontario, Canada
Jennifer99
♀ Member
Member # 39551
Default  Posted: 2:51 PM, March 11th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Love when I get to hear about warm fuzzies in the middle of sad.

Posts: 556 | Registered: Jun 2013
Topic Posts: 7

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