I just feel like no matter what I do and no matter how bad of a human being he is, all the good I do and the positive things I pray for and think of, all just don't matter and he ALWAYS wins. He has two solid girlfriends at the moment. The OW with whom he has had a child, another girl friend that he's been with for five months and cheating on OW with, as well as different women every night that the two of them aren't around. I don't understand how such a horrible human being can have such a lucky life.
I don't even know how to express what I am feeling. Just like blah. I was thinking about it the night before last and I literally feel like I have been in limbo my whole life. I don't ever remember feeling really happy and I have never known who I am or ever really had best friends with whom I could be myself. I don't know what to do or who to be........ Sorry for the rant. I have been holding it together fantastically with barely a tear shed. Now, I seriously feel an emotional break down on it's way.
I've read a few stories about people realizing that they were bullied, manipulated and/or railroaded during mediation. They then took legal action to reverse the mediation, claiming they signed under duress or something. I don't know what the legal term is, but there might be a way to stop it.
Do you have a lawyer? Is your lawyer a good one? If so, tell them you were not in your right mind yesterday and want to stop whatever it is you signed. If you don't have a lawyer, can you call the clerk of the court or someone like that?
WH says marriage is over: May 15, 2009.
EA#2 July 20, 2009. Legally sep: Aug 16, 2009. DIVORCED!!!! Signed Nov 23, final Dec 24, 2010, adultery listed.