Topic: Dancing with a different partner
Member # 35846
| Posted: 10:26 PM, March 11th (Tuesday), 2014|
I must come from another planet
I don't find it disrespectful at all.
We went to a wedding last year where the wedding party danced with each other.
It was all fun.
I didn't see any boundaries being crossed....and I am hyper-aware.
“And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom”
We have R'd
Posts: 3774 | Registered: Jun 2012 | From: Massachusetts
Member # 38020
| Posted: 6:41 PM, March 12th (Wednesday), 2014|
Update: I spoke with the bride, and she said it was fine for us to switch. She seemed understanding and actually said that the only reason they are doing it is because she isn't from our area and it's a tradition thing in her family's weddings. She admitted that if I'd made wedding party members all dance, she would have asked to switch and dance with her boyfriend (now fiance).
I'm glad it all worked out.
I'm less stressed about him dancing with another woman (although I think I might trigger hard about it), but actually more stressed about me. I don't like being touched, at all, by anyone really. The thought of dancing with a guy i don't know really grosses me out.
I have been cheated on by 3 different men, and I have more DDays than anyone ever should. I am here, just trying to pickup the pieces.
At least the current man "only" cyber-cheated.
"Love means never having to say you're sorry."
Posts: 840 | Registered: Jan 2013
Member # 14866
| Posted: 7:08 PM, March 12th (Wednesday), 2014|
I am glad that you have a good resolution to your issue.
Think of the haters in your life as sandpaper; they’ll scratch you up time and time again but in the end you’re polished, smooth, and spotless..while they end up useless
We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give.
Posts: 51516 | Registered: Jun 2007 | From: Big Blue Nation
Member # 35812
| Posted: 2:01 PM, March 13th (Thursday), 2014|
I'm glad that you got a good result from your request.
Honestly, this is triggering me just a bit too. We are attending a HUGE family wedding at the end of the month and this will be the first one since DDay. With family that I haven't seen in decades in some instances. I'm terrified that I'm going to cry too damned much at the wedding. I don't have being a part of the wedding party to worry about, but I'm afraid of triggering during the reception and dancing. Mind you, I am going to look FABULIOUS, but I have this really sour stomach feeling.
Sorry for the TJ. (((hugs)))
Imagine a ship trying to set sail while towing an anchor. Cutting free is not a gift to the anchor. You must release that burden, not because the anchor is worthy, but because the ship is.
D-Day, June 10, 2012
Posts: 4585 | Registered: Jun 2012 | From: So California
Member # 39551
| Posted: 2:04 PM, March 13th (Thursday), 2014|
If this were to happen at mine it would have been my brother dancin with my sister
Sorry, back to your thread.
Posts: 556 | Registered: Jun 2013
Member # 29288
| Posted: 2:30 PM, March 13th (Thursday), 2014|
It wouldn't bother me, but that is not relevant here. This is a textbook case for boundaries and why they are so important to our own health and well-being. You didn't want to dance with a man who is not your H, you said so in a clear, but polite way and the bride-to-be honored that and found a solution. It will make the whole experience a better one for you. Good job!
Him--FWH (53)--5yr. LTA--OW probably BPD
Married 20 years
Reconciling--but boy is it hard!
Posts: 1265 | Registered: Aug 2010
Member # 27650
| Posted: 2:40 PM, March 13th (Thursday), 2014|
Update: I spoke with the bride, and she said it was fine for us to switch. She seemed understanding ...
I think there is an excellent lesson in here about not avoiding conflict (having a conversation) when you are uncomfortable with something.
LTA BS 53
M 1990, dday 10-5-09
Separated and Divorcing
Posts: 4085 | Registered: Feb 2010 | From: FL
Member # 42216
| Posted: 10:54 PM, March 13th (Thursday), 2014|
You are NOT being unreasonable. I could appreciate your boundaries. 'High Five' to you!
Me: Older than dirt
DD 8/1990 She confessed to a 2 month ea/pa
Asked forgiveness but volunteered to leave. No way was I going to give her the boot
The eight most feared words used together in the English language: We need to talk. Th
Posts: 88 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: Utah
Member # 26326
| Posted: 3:39 AM, March 14th (Friday), 2014|
Wow I must be from a different planet too.
Him.WS 55 and a priest!
MARRIED 25 YEARS ON 25/08/09
BEEN TOGETHER 28 YEARS
TWO CHILDREN 20 and 22.
Posts: 159 | Registered: Nov 2009 | From: UK
|Topic Posts: 29|