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Wayward Side Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Separation and Progress
BrokenButTrying
♀ Member
Member # 42111
Default  Posted: 11:22 AM, March 12th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Over the last few weeks BH and I have been sorting out our separation. I have always been supportive of his need for space. He says he needs time on his own to heal and to establish a baseline for his emotions.

He will be taking a posting in a different area in six weeks time. In the mean time he will live in single accommodation just up the road from our home. At some point in the next few months I will move, with the children, closer to my family and nearer to BH's new posting. That's was the plan.

Monday was the day he moved out. He packed up his stuff and although I was upset, I held it together and only expressed how sorry I was for being the cause of a situation where he had to move out away from his kids, that I knew how difficult this decision had been for him.
After he left I kept busy, tidying and putting the kids to bed.

Four hours after leaving he burst through the front door (gave me quite a scare!) He strode across the living room and broke down in my arms. We talked for hours, very honestly and openly, both sharing our fears and our hopes. He spent the night and has been round a lot since, he seems to want to be here.

Before Monday evening we had been in limbo since Dday. We're not anymore, BH decided that his goal is now R!
Overwhelmed doesn't even cover what I've been feeling the last few days.
We're taking this slowly, he is still going to live in the single accommodation but we're going to spend weekends together, doing stuff with the kids. BH says if he continues to feel the way he does at the moment, we will move to his new posting as a family and begin R.

I am not naive, I am aware he could still change his mind. I know that R is a gift, I will forever be grateful that he has even decided to work towards it. I realise that if we get to R then that's when the hard work starts but I'm ready, I'm committed.

We're separated now, each working on ourselves but we have a common goal, to be together and to R.

I am humbled by this man, he has been in hell the last few months, a hell that I created for him. I know I am undeserving of the gift of R but I will not let him down. He has admitted that he has not behaved well at times and has let anger take over but he feels more in control of himself now.

Here's to laying new foundations.


Me - 27
Him - 27
Madhatters

My Ddays - 01/10 & 12/04/14
His Dday - 23/12/13

Chin up. Unwavering. Fight. I can do this.


Posts: 1230 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: UK
Prayingforhope
♂ Member
Member # 41801
Default  Posted: 11:28 AM, March 12th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

That's a really wonderful update and it was nice to read. The journey is long but that seems like a great step towards a committed R on both your parts. Good luck!


WH 41
BS 40
D-Day Oct 28th, 2013
Together 18 years
Three amazing boys 12, 9 & 6
Praying for hope daily

Posts: 260 | Registered: Dec 2013
LosferWords
♂ Guide
Member # 30369
Default  Posted: 11:34 AM, March 12th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

That's a really great update. Best of luck, and I hope things continue to work out positively for both of you.

Posts: 6532 | Registered: Dec 2010
Sparkle0504
♀ Member
Member # 40379
Default  Posted: 11:35 AM, March 12th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

BBT what an uplifting post. So happy to see you moving forward now and in such a positive way.

Peace and light to you


Me 44 (BS)
Him 52 (SAWH)
DDay (too many to mention), but 1st 06/2011
Children - two, mine from my previous marriage
Final straw 6/6/14

You're braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think (A A Milne)


Posts: 191 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: England
MissesJai
♀ Member
Member # 24849
Default  Posted: 11:37 AM, March 12th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

That is excellent progress. Good for you!


FWW - 41
I'm big on personal responsibility. Own your shit. ALL OF IT.

Posts: 5822 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: So Cal.....
BrokenButTrying
♀ Member
Member # 42111
Default  Posted: 11:56 AM, March 12th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thanks guys! Things feel very positive at the moment.

BH and I had a great day today. We didn't do anything special, just hung out, watching Prison Break on Netflix and playing games with our youngest son. It was just so relaxed and fun, a bit flirty between BH and I too, which was nice.
The sun is shining and it's starting to feel like spring, amazing how much nice weather can lift your spirits.


Me - 27
Him - 27
Madhatters

My Ddays - 01/10 & 12/04/14
His Dday - 23/12/13

Chin up. Unwavering. Fight. I can do this.


Posts: 1230 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: UK
Wayflost
♀ Member
Member # 41583
Default  Posted: 11:59 AM, March 12th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

That's so great to read! I hope you two are able to continue down the path of R so healthily together.


Me: WW
Him: BH (totalheartbreak)
Both: 30s

Appalled by my actions, and the choice to set off several atomic bombs in my life.


Posts: 389 | Registered: Dec 2013
mrs7
♀ New Member
Member # 42505
Default  Posted: 7:41 PM, March 13th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

YAY!

Love this! Here's hoping to a wonderful new start to your relationship - one built on honesty and trust.


Me -WW - 49
Him -BH -45
DD - 1-21-14
no children together
M - 3 1/2 years, together 7

Posts: 46 | Registered: Feb 2014 | From: CO
heartbroken0903
♀ Member
Member # 27879
Default  Posted: 8:11 PM, March 13th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

This is a nice post to read. I'm happy for you!


Me: WS, 30s
XH: BS, 40s
No kids

Married 2.5 years
D-day 3/6/10
Divorced 5/14/10

Reconciled after divorce

"Someday you'll look back on all these days
And all this pain is gonna be invisible." - Hunter Hayes, "Invisible"


Posts: 2088 | Registered: Mar 2010 | From: the cat's meow
bookjunkie
♀ Member
Member # 39033
Default  Posted: 9:16 AM, March 14th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

That is just awesome! Hope things continue on a positive path for both of you!


WW 43 (me)
BH 45
Married 24 yrs
3 kids
DDay 2/10/13 Confessed
Reconciling

Posts: 60 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Southern USA
Topic Posts: 10

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