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Newest Member: LostinBluseas (45054)

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User Topic: Very Sad; Brother Lost His Leg and His Mind
peacelovetea
♀ Member
Member # 26071
Default  Posted: 10:00 AM, March 13th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Also consider that his alcohol withdrawal may be playing into this situation. He may have been more addicted than you think, or addicted to other substances you did not know about. Definitely talk to the docs about what you've said here.

{{hugs}} How sad and scary for you.


BW, SAHM
D-Day: 6/5/09, drunken ONS on business trip, confessed immediately, transparent, remorseful but emotionally clueless
M 11 years, 3 kids
4/12 Tried to R for 3 years, have decided to D
12/31/12 D final

Posts: 542 | Registered: Nov 2009 | From: PacNW
tushnurse
♀ Member
Member # 21101
Default  Posted: 12:22 PM, March 13th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

He is a functioning alcoholic, so some alcohol withdrawal.

^^^^THIS^^^^ is most likely your biggest culprit. Having been an ICU nurse for over a decade I can tell you that this can slow healing and recovery from illness and injury much longer than any of us care to imagine.

I have had patients that are so confused and combative that we literally have to keep the sedated and on ventilators for a month until they have completed withdrawl, and have some other med on board to control the anxiety that they were self medicating for prior to whatever incident landed them there. That being said your brother's partner (I am assuming you mean life not work) needs to tell the staff exactly how much he was drinking prior to admission and if he was utilizing any other substances, including but not limited pot, and prescription meds, even if they were not his.

The Librium is a good start to help with the withdrawl, but can take a while to get therapeutic. Hang in there.

There is also a combination of factors that happen to cause ICU/Hospital psychosis, including lack of regular sleep, pain meds, anesthesia, and just being sick that can happen even in the most sound of mind people. Steroids can make this even worse, and given what he is going through, he may be on steroids, so I would ask that question, and see if he can be weaned off of those.

But most of all take this to heart, and ease your angst. You brother will not remember 99% of this when he recovers. He will not be aware of the amount of time that went by, and how completely out of his mind he was while he was. That is a great thing. While it's hard for you to deal with he won't even realize the angst he has caused. IT's just how it works, and honestly that is a good thing.

Be gentle and kind, and just try to remind your brother of where he is and what he is supposed to be doing, but if he fights you on it redirect and change the subject. Ask what the weather is, what he had to eat that morning, anything. If he has some level of cognition that he is confused arguing with him just increases the anxiety, and cause patients to cycle and ramp up the frustration.

(((((SMS and Bro)))))


Me: FBS
Him: FWS
Kids: 15 & 17
Married for 22 years now, was 16 at the time. .
D-Day Sept 26 2008
Fully R'd, and Happy Happy Happy

Posts: 8592 | Registered: Oct 2008 | From: St. Louis
purplejacket4
♀ Member
Member # 34262
Default  Posted: 8:55 PM, March 13th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Your brother sounds delirious. This could be from alcohol withdrawl, the drugs he's on, an infection, a stroke or the fact he was in ICU so long.

You need to ask the doctor to actually LOOK INTO it.


Me: BS 45
Her: fWS 48 (same sex partner)
Together: 18 years now (both MDs)
OW: meh so what 40s PhD
DD1: 10/30/11EA; DD2: 11/10/11 Had ONS; TT until 12/26/11; broke NC 6/12; NC again 7/12; R-ish

Posts: 2212 | Registered: Dec 2011 | From: Great Southwest
itainteasy
♀ Member
Member # 31094
Default  Posted: 1:58 PM, March 14th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Could some bone marrow have leaked into his blood stream from the amputation? (I know nothing about surgery, if that is even possible)

I know that sometimes when a bone fractures, bone marrow can get into the blood stream, and can then cause delusional behavior.

But, the alcohol withdrawals sounds like the biggest culprit.

(((((Sister)))))))

I'm so sorry. You must feel so helpless being far away from your brother and unable to do more than just speak on the phone.

The helplessness is terrible.

Dr. PJ makes a good suggestion, to get his doctor to LOOK INTO this situation. Do you have the doctor's information? Can you get in touch? Are you a HIPAA released person on your brother's file?


Posts: 3396 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: NWPA
nowiknow23
♀ Guide
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 2:46 PM, March 14th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((((sms))))) Sending you and your family strength, hon. This is a lot to process, and I know how helpless it can feel to be far away while the crap is hitting the fan.


You can call me NIK

"Sometimes it takes a good fall to know where you really stand."
-Hayley Williams


Posts: 25504 | Registered: Aug 2011
little turtle
♀ Member
Member # 15584
Default  Posted: 4:00 PM, March 14th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((((SMS))))


Failure is success if we learn from it.

Posts: 4182 | Registered: Aug 2007 | From: michigan
cantbelieve
♀ Member
Member # 22028
Default  Posted: 4:38 PM, March 14th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My BIL had 2 surgeries several days apart and he was totally out of it. They had to restrain him because he kept trying to pull every tube out. He was in ICU for about 7 days while they tried to wean him off. Those meds can do horrendous things to your body and mind. Hang tight, he will come out of it.


Me: BS (58)
Him: WS (58)
LTA 4 years with co-worker
DS(26)
DD(23)
DD(20)
Married 29 years
D-day1 5/08
D-day2 11/08
Status: 6 yrs and wondering if I'll ever be truly happy again

Posts: 1064 | Registered: Dec 2008 | From: DFW
still2suspicious
♀ Member
Member # 31722
Default  Posted: 5:13 PM, March 14th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Sending prayers to you, your brother and your family.

(((sms)))


Me: BS
Him: WH
DDay: LTEA

Posts: 1290 | Registered: Apr 2011 | From:
yearsofpain25
♂ Member
Member # 42012
Default  Posted: 7:59 PM, March 14th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Very sorry to hear it SMS. Wanted you to know that I'm thinking of you and your brother.


25 years and counting of pain caused by mother's infidelity. Aftermath: 1 deceased sibling, 1 lost family, 3 lost souls.
"Each new day I am just glad to be alive and have survived all that I did." Ashland13

Posts: 2153 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: Northeast US
Tripletrouble
♀ Member
Member # 39169
Default  Posted: 8:13 PM, March 14th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My heart breaks for you both. I wish you both all the best in healing.


40 somethings - me BW after 20 years
D Day April 2013
Divorced November 2013

Be happy with what you have while you work for what you want - Hellen Keller


Posts: 638 | Registered: May 2013
SisterMilkshake
♀ Member
Member # 30024
Default  Posted: 1:51 PM, March 19th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thanks all for your hugs and kindness. I so appreciate them.

pj4, yes, our oldest sister realized this isn't normal at about the same time I posted originally. It all came to head last week when my poor brother tried to stab a poor nurse with a pencil because he thought she was someone evil coming to do him harm.

He is back in the hospital being tested for many things. It has been a long process. Today my sister and the doctor visited with my brother for over an hour. He seemed mostly "normal", but seeming to be focused a lot of when he lived in Florida which was about 15 years ago. He did live there for a long time.

A lot has been ruled out. No alzheimers, no infections, not a drug reaction. Unfortunately, what they are thinking my brother has isn't good. It is called Wernicke-Korsakoff syndrome. From what I have read, it is pretty dismal and most likely he will not fully recover. It is a result of damage from chronic alcohol abuse.

He is a very sweet, kind, generous man with what little he has. Always willing to lend a helping hand. He doesn't deserve this, although it was caused by his self destructive behaviours.


BW (me) 50ish FWH 50ish
Married 34 years, 3 children
d-day 3/10 LTA (4 yrs./fucking & flirting)

"Oh, why do my actions have consequences?" ~ Homer Simpson
"She knew my one weakness: That I'm weak!" ~ Homer Simpson


Posts: 9702 | Registered: Nov 2010 | From: The Great White North USA
sisoon
♂ Member
Member # 31240
Default  Posted: 1:59 PM, March 19th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm glad he's getting diagnostic attention. I hope they find the cause for his loss of intellectual functionality and that it's something easily resolved.


fBH (me) - 70 (22 in my head), fWW (plainsong) - 65+, Married 45+, together since 1965
DDay - 12/2010
Recovered, not yet fully R'ed
I share my own experience because it's the only experience I know, not because I'm a good model.

Posts: 10162 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: Chicago area
Deeply Scared
♀ Administrator
Member # 2
Default  Posted: 2:03 PM, March 19th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((((SMS & Brother)))))


"Don't give up, the beginning is always the hardest." My Mom:)

My tolerance for stupid shit is getting less and less.


Posts: 197932 | Registered: May 2002
purplejacket4
♀ Member
Member # 34262
Default  Posted: 2:37 PM, March 19th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Double check that they are giving him DOUBLE STRENGTH thiamine replacement. Usually we give 100mg a day to alcoholics but if you actually have that syndrome it has to be 200mg a day.


Me: BS 45
Her: fWS 48 (same sex partner)
Together: 18 years now (both MDs)
OW: meh so what 40s PhD
DD1: 10/30/11EA; DD2: 11/10/11 Had ONS; TT until 12/26/11; broke NC 6/12; NC again 7/12; R-ish

Posts: 2212 | Registered: Dec 2011 | From: Great Southwest
jo2love
♀ Moderator
Member # 31528
Default  Posted: 3:15 PM, March 19th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((Sister & brother)))

Posts: 35383 | Registered: Mar 2011
SisterMilkshake
♀ Member
Member # 30024
Default  Posted: 3:42 PM, March 19th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thanks so much pj4 for that info on thiamine. I will be talking to big sis this evening. Have you seen pretty good results in your patients? Or, not so much? What I have been reading is not optimistic on full recovery.

Big Sis is the one that really needs the hugs and prayers. She has had to make tough decisions. It must be so painful for her to see our brother in this condition.


BW (me) 50ish FWH 50ish
Married 34 years, 3 children
d-day 3/10 LTA (4 yrs./fucking & flirting)

"Oh, why do my actions have consequences?" ~ Homer Simpson
"She knew my one weakness: That I'm weak!" ~ Homer Simpson


Posts: 9702 | Registered: Nov 2010 | From: The Great White North USA
Faithful w/Love
♀ Member
Member # 33128
Default  Posted: 3:51 PM, March 19th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Oh sister, I am so sorry!

My stepmother is a HUGE functioning Alcoholic and she had drank so much one day that my dad had to rush her to the ER when he came home from work, her liver is shot and they had to put in a coma because of it. Anyways, she now has Dementia, not very bad yet but she forgets everything,repeats herself, asks the same question that she just asked, can get violent and I am scared for my dad. It is sad what it can do to you that we never really think of.

Could your brother might have something like that?
My heart goes out to you.


BS(ME)40 WH(HIM)38
DD 20 and DS 15
Separated Aug 2012

Moved back home Oct 31 2013
Separated again June 2014. Heading toward divorce.
False R. Still Lying.
Will be divorcing soon!
"You never know how strong you are until being strong


Posts: 2721 | Registered: Aug 2011
SisterMilkshake
♀ Member
Member # 30024
Default  Posted: 4:22 PM, March 19th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yes, Faithful, it could be something along the lines of some form of brain damage. I believe his organs are fine, though.

My heart goes out to your father and your stepmom. I am sure it isn't easy for either of them. I am sorry that you have concerns for your fathers safety.


BW (me) 50ish FWH 50ish
Married 34 years, 3 children
d-day 3/10 LTA (4 yrs./fucking & flirting)

"Oh, why do my actions have consequences?" ~ Homer Simpson
"She knew my one weakness: That I'm weak!" ~ Homer Simpson


Posts: 9702 | Registered: Nov 2010 | From: The Great White North USA
Mousse242
♀ Member
Member # 6330
Default  Posted: 6:00 PM, March 19th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Could be meds or it could also be he threw a clot and suffered a stroke or aneurism.

You need to talk to his doctors, pronto.


Posts: 5473 | Registered: Jan 2005 | From: Chicago
SisterMilkshake
♀ Member
Member # 30024
Default  Posted: 7:12 PM, March 19th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

No strokes, or aneurism, Mousse. They amputated his leg below the knee because of blood clots. I think they ruled that out, too.


BW (me) 50ish FWH 50ish
Married 34 years, 3 children
d-day 3/10 LTA (4 yrs./fucking & flirting)

"Oh, why do my actions have consequences?" ~ Homer Simpson
"She knew my one weakness: That I'm weak!" ~ Homer Simpson


Posts: 9702 | Registered: Nov 2010 | From: The Great White North USA
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