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New Beginnings Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: I'm clueless, I met a guy
sparkysable
♀ Member
Member # 3703
Default  Posted: 11:44 AM, March 13th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

So I met a guy at the local warehouse club store. I was in the children's clothing section, he was looking for something for his nephew, and he asked me for some advice about what would be good for a 2 yr old boy. We chatted a little, compared batman vs. elmo pajamas, etc. I could tell he was kind of shy. He was cute, quiet, nice, and he had kind eyes I thought. He asked if I was single, and when I said I was, he asked if he could take my number, and I gave it to him. We chatted a little more before I left to check out and get home before DD was due to arrive home.

That night he texted me and asked if we could get together to meet that week. We figured out that I work the day shift, and he works the afternoon shift, so the weekend would be better. Weekends are better for me anyway regardless of his work schedule. It was left open with no definite plans made.

That was Sunday night, and I have not heard from him since then. What do I do?

Is this a case of "He's just not that into you" or he's no longer interested? My brother says definitely do not contact him, and if he wanted to contact me again, he would. I'm torn. While I agree with the above, he was kind of shy, so maybe he chickened out? I'm kind of disappointed too, I was looking forward to meeting someone who seemed nice.

Should I do anything or let it drop? I'm so clueless when it comes to this kind of thing. What is proper protocol? HELP!


D-day OW#1 2/2004; R for 6 years; D-day OW#2 5/2010

Marriages that start this way, stepping over the bodies of loved ones as the giddy couple walks down the aisle, are not likely to last.


Posts: 3385 | Registered: Mar 2004 | From: NY
Williesmom
♀ Member
Member # 22870
Default  Posted: 11:49 AM, March 13th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

First of all, Yay!! Good for you.

Secondly, It's only Thursday noon....so I would give it a bit more time. You told him that you were open and single. I think the ball is in his court right now.

Keep us posted.


You can stuff your sorries in a sack, mister. -George Costanza
There is a special place in hell for women who don't help other women. - Madeleine Albright

Posts: 7761 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: Western PA
sparkysable
♀ Member
Member # 3703
Default  Posted: 11:52 AM, March 13th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You told him that you were open and single. I think the ball is in his court right now.
That's kind of what I was thinking.


D-day OW#1 2/2004; R for 6 years; D-day OW#2 5/2010

Marriages that start this way, stepping over the bodies of loved ones as the giddy couple walks down the aisle, are not likely to last.


Posts: 3385 | Registered: Mar 2004 | From: NY
gypsybird87
♀ Member
Member # 39193
Default  Posted: 12:03 PM, March 13th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It is only Thursday, but if you haven't heard anything by this time tomorrow, I'd text him something upbeat like, "Hi, I'm starting to make my plans for the weekend. When did you want to get together?" and see if/how he responds. That way it doesn't sound like you are waiting around with nothing else to do, but at the same time you get an answer on whether he is interested or not. Unless a negative response or a no response would really devastate you, what have you got to lose?

Of course, this is just me and what I would do, because I personally hate feeling like "I wonder what would have happened if I would have been braver, bolder, etc etc..." I'd rather take the risk and know, than wonder later. But that's just me.

Do what feels right and know that however he responds, YOU are awesome.


Me: Enjoying life
Him: Someone else's problem

Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one's courage. ~ Anais Nin


Posts: 911 | Registered: May 2013 | From: Oregon
LearningToRun
♀ Member
Member # 31353
Default  Posted: 12:35 PM, March 13th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

If a guy wants to get with you, he will get with you. Do not text him again.
He may be busy over the weekend, he may have a few people he is juggling. No way to know.

If i were you, i'd make other plans.

If he contacts you, then happy surprise.

Ball is totally in his court. As frustrating as that may be. But if wont even do the work now, he is not a good match for you.


Posts: 272 | Registered: Feb 2011
cmego
♀ Member
Member # 30346
Default  Posted: 12:47 PM, March 13th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

ehhhh….I'm with the "give him a little encouragement and see what he does" court.

I'd go with the, "I'm making plans for this weekend, are you still interested in getting together?" It lets him know you are interested, just in case he is a little uncertain.

He DID approach you, he DID text you.

If he doesn't respond, then you have your answer.


me...BS, 43 years old, 2 small kids
WS, 41, multiple gay affairs
M 15 years, together 17
Divorced

"For whatever we lose, like a you or a me, it's always ourselves we find in the sea" ee cummings


Posts: 4175 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: South
tryingagain74
♀ Member
Member # 33698
Default  Posted: 1:53 PM, March 13th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Sparkysable!!! How awesome!

And how nice that he isn't gay. Oh wait, that's my domain.

I personally would not text him. He knows what the deal is. He was the one who approached you, so if it's important enough to him, he'll get in touch. But, this is me we're talking about here, so take that advice with a grain of salt.

Keep us posted so that we can live vicariously through you!


BS (Me) 39
Happily liberated!
Two DS and One DD
It matters not how strait the gate,/How charged with punishments the scroll./I am the master of my fate:/I am the captain of my soul.--"Invictus," William Ernest Henley

Posts: 3620 | Registered: Oct 2011
sparkysable
♀ Member
Member # 3703
Default  Posted: 2:01 PM, March 13th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

And how nice that he isn't gay. Oh wait, that's my domain.
Only YOU would meet a guy who turned out to be a gay hollywood actor!! I'm not so lucky as you . I just meet an apparently normal straight guy at BJ's. How boring my life must be compared to yours!

He WAS kind of cute, and he was 4 years younger than me. Such a cradle robber I would be!! .....if he ever calls me.

Damn! I'll be so disappointed if he poofs.


D-day OW#1 2/2004; R for 6 years; D-day OW#2 5/2010

Marriages that start this way, stepping over the bodies of loved ones as the giddy couple walks down the aisle, are not likely to last.


Posts: 3385 | Registered: Mar 2004 | From: NY
SeanFLA
♂ Member
Member # 32380
Default  Posted: 2:42 PM, March 13th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Alright...guy chiming in. I disagree with ALL of you that say "next" him. We are adults now this isn't high school. We have only so much time in our days and so much time left on this planet. In no way would I, if in her shoes, pass on a guy that at first glance meets my interest and qualifications. He's shy and you know that. I guaranty he's probably sitting at home scared to death about texting you again because of rejection. I say throw him a bone and text him yourself. Let him know you're free this coming weekend and was curious if he was still interested in getting together. If he declines then game over, erase his number, no harm done.

I don't know where many women on here expect to meet a guy. Most bash OLD. Now a nice guy gets the courage in a store to ask if you're single and your number? Wow...don't know if I would ever have the courage to ask that myself. At least with OLD I generally know they are single already. Well at least they are supposed to be.


BS(me) 48
WW 46
1 son 14 yrs old
Married 18 yrs, together 21 yrs

"You never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have." ~ Bob Marley


Posts: 1470 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: Zombie Land
libertyrocks
♀ Member
Member # 38924
Default  Posted: 2:59 PM, March 13th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hmmm, if it were me, I'd ask once as a follow up/reminder, then that's it!! No more contact from my end. If a guy wants to see a gal, he will do everything in his power to make it happen. Mark my words.


Me-BW 36. STBXH-35,Recovering Alcoholic, M6yrs T13. Boys 2 & 4 1/2.
DDay #1 Nov,2012. 1 1/2 year false R & TT. 10 OW PA's 1LTA (W lied to) 3 years.
S Nov, 2013 again Jan,2014
Filed for D Feb,2014.

Posts: 962 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: So Cal, baby. :)
sparkysable
♀ Member
Member # 3703
Default  Posted: 3:01 PM, March 13th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

SeanFLA I definitely appreciate the guy perspective here!

I think it was definitely pretty brave of him to do. He surely risked rejection right to his face. Plus, he said it so quietly I had to ask him to repeat himself because I didn't hear what he said! You think after that, he's still sweating texting me again? I won't be a loser if I text him and ask if he's still interested in getting together this weekend?


D-day OW#1 2/2004; R for 6 years; D-day OW#2 5/2010

Marriages that start this way, stepping over the bodies of loved ones as the giddy couple walks down the aisle, are not likely to last.


Posts: 3385 | Registered: Mar 2004 | From: NY
caregiver9000
♀ Member
Member # 28622
Default  Posted: 3:04 PM, March 13th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I would send a text about something that happened today, something you read, basketball? something that you might chat about and see if he responds.

Reaching out if he is shy lets him know you are friendly. I don't know that I would do the "so what are we going to do this weekend?" route...

One more option to consider!!


Me: 44, independent, happy, despite co-parenting with a lower muppet
FT "Stretch" (and Skew!) ;)
DS 13 DS 10
S 5/2010
D 12/2012

Posts: 5859 | Registered: May 2010 | From: a better place
nutmegkitty
♀ Member
Member # 33882
Default  Posted: 3:05 PM, March 13th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I agree with SeanFLA here. Text him once and see what happens. If you get a reply, great, if not, no harm no foul.


me (BS)
him (NPD Ex)
2 dds
DDay 10/7/11
OW
OC

Divorced 1/17/2013

"Diamonds aren't a girl's best friend, freedom is."


Posts: 2601 | Registered: Nov 2011 | From: MA
PhoenixRisen
Member
Member # 35912
Default  Posted: 4:09 PM, March 13th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'd send a quick text him and see what happens.

Posts: 499 | Registered: Jun 2012
thyme2go
♂ Member
Member # 12908
Default  Posted: 4:17 PM, March 13th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Ask him out....


BH - no longer 48
3 DD's - (27, 24 and 17)
Divorced on 8/6/09

Posts: 9186 | Registered: Dec 2006 | From: Eastern Washington
Crescita
♀ Member
Member # 32616
Default  Posted: 4:25 PM, March 13th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I’d follow up today, tomorrow at the latest. You are still interested but your time is valuable. It’s better to make that clear in advance than wait too long and have a new dilemma when he contacts you last minute. If you fill up your weekend you get the message across that your time is valuable, but in a passive aggressive manner, which doesn’t convey any interest. If you leave your weekend open your interest is clear, but you look like a doormat.

Best to be direct and demonstrate how you prefer to be treated. He will have plenty of chances to show you how interested he is as time progresses. Honestly at this stage, you’ve only just met, how interested could he be? You need a little interest on both parts to keep this moving forward. Neither one of you should be all in yet.


Posts: 3441 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: The Valley of the Sun
Whalers11
♀ Member
Member # 27544
Default  Posted: 5:16 PM, March 13th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Did he end up getting his nephew something? Maybe text him to ask if his nephew liked it?


Me: BGF - 33
Together 11+ years - not married, no children.
D-Day: 2/9/2010
OC Born: 10/9/2010
Status: He chose OW/OC and left immediately.

Posts: 2252 | Registered: Feb 2010
caregiver9000
♀ Member
Member # 28622
Default  Posted: 5:25 PM, March 13th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I like Whalers idea!

so what did you do??? (living vicariously through my NB peeps)


Me: 44, independent, happy, despite co-parenting with a lower muppet
FT "Stretch" (and Skew!) ;)
DS 13 DS 10
S 5/2010
D 12/2012

Posts: 5859 | Registered: May 2010 | From: a better place
Gottagetthrough
Member
Member # 27325
Default  Posted: 6:00 PM, March 13th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'd go with the, "I'm making plans for this weekend, are you still interested in getting together?" It lets him know you are interested, just in case he is a little uncertain.

He DID approach you, he DID text you.


Absolutely! He has taken the initiative twice to ask you out and then follow up with the first text. I don't think you are being too bold at all by texting, "Hi! I'm making plans for the weekend, do you still want to do something this Saturday." (or however you want to say that)

I definitely think its throwing a shy guy a well deserved bone... he approached you, asked for your number, and texted you first. I'm pretty sure he likes you & wants to get to know you better


Also, he might be the type who makes plans Friday afternoon or even Saturday morning.


Posts: 1401 | Registered: Jan 2010
Gottagetthrough
Member
Member # 27325
Default  Posted: 6:02 PM, March 13th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You need a little interest on both parts to keep this moving forward.

Yes!


Posts: 1401 | Registered: Jan 2010
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