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User Topic: Nothing Special
callmecrazy
♀ Member
Member # 38765
Default  Posted: 3:51 PM, March 13th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Now that we are speaking in truths, WH admits he has from day 1 tested and pushed boundaries kind of like a 2 year old. I asked why he married me if he wasnt really ready...he doesnt know. Either way, now that I look back at 7 years of me really just asking for his time and attention and his excuse for all the other negative things/women was the ego stroke, I realize I was never special to him. He says I am now and he wants to prove it, but Im beginning to feel that there may be too much water under that bridge and Ill drown if I go back there again. Just where Im at today realizing for 7 years I was trying to give him what he wanted and it wasnt enough. EVEN IF YOU ARE GIVEN A TOP STEAK, IT WONT SATISFY IF YOU WANT SPAM IN A CAN.

Posts: 279 | Registered: Mar 2013
MadeOfScars
♂ Member
Member # 42231
Default  Posted: 4:44 PM, March 13th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It may not be what you want to hear, but you now have an opportunity to not make that 7 years into 8 years, 10 years, 20 years...you see what I'm saying. It is NOT your fault he is broken. You've shown you can uphold more than your end of the bargain, and you are special. Believe that, and believe that if your WH can't realize this, you have an opportunity to heal, and then find someone who will.

EVEN IF YOU ARE GIVEN A TOP STEAK, IT WONT SATISFY IF YOU WANT SPAM IN A CAN.

Exactly. You're too good for him, at least for who he is showing himself to be. If he wants spam, let him eat spam. You said you gave him what he wanted and it wasn't enough? I'd say it was plenty, and he just isn't able to appreciate it.

I'm sorry you're going through this, but know, I mean KNOW, that you are special. If you can get past this, whether it's R with your WH or not, there are many men who truly appreciate top steak and will never look at spam again. However this pans out, we have your back, and there is a brighter future ahead.


“The wound is the place where the Light enters you.” ― Rumi

Posts: 1218 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: Texas
Truly
♀ Member
Member # 40715
Default  Posted: 5:24 PM, March 13th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You are special, so special.

Perhaps he's growing up and can finally appreciate how wonderful you are?

Of course, his arrival at adulthood may be too late for you.

((((((callmecrazy))))))

Strength
xxx


There are dark shadows on the earth, but its lights are stronger in the contrast.
Charles Dickens


Posts: 257 | Registered: Sep 2013
Pass
♂ Member
Member # 38122
Default  Posted: 7:11 PM, March 13th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Perhaps he's growing up and can finally appreciate how wonderful you are?

Even if he is growing up, it doesn't happen overnight. He may be realizing that he is at risk of losing the lovely person he took for granted for years. That just means he's sad for the loss, it doesn't mean he will magically wake up ready to be a good husband.


Loyal spouse: Me; Disloyal spouse: The Princess
Two sons: Now 11 and 14
DDay: Nov 15, 2012
Separated: Mar 2, 2013 after 17 year marriage, now divorcing!

The best thing about hitting rock bottom is that everything after that looks fucking fabulous


Posts: 2080 | Registered: Jan 2013
Pass
♂ Member
Member # 38122
Default  Posted: 8:56 PM, March 13th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Oops! I'm sorry. That was really harsh. You definitely deserve someone who realizes how wonderful you are - and if he has any sense, he'll become that person. Please be wary though.


Loyal spouse: Me; Disloyal spouse: The Princess
Two sons: Now 11 and 14
DDay: Nov 15, 2012
Separated: Mar 2, 2013 after 17 year marriage, now divorcing!

The best thing about hitting rock bottom is that everything after that looks fucking fabulous


Posts: 2080 | Registered: Jan 2013
callmecrazy
♀ Member
Member # 38765
Default  Posted: 7:48 AM, March 14th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Pass, its okay I know what you mean. I have thought that too. Each time he makes more trouble he suddenly gets it blah blah same story different month/year.

Posts: 279 | Registered: Mar 2013
norabird
♀ Member
Member # 42092
Default  Posted: 9:19 AM, March 14th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It's so awful that we waste our amazing capacity for love on people who can't appreciate it and don't deserve it.

You are very, very special. Unfortunately your WH has been so entitled and immature that he can't see what in this world truly has value. If that can change (if) can only be known with lots and lots of time. The intention to change alone on his part isn't enough--actions, not words.


Sit. Feast on your life.

Posts: 4196 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: NYC
Topic Posts: 7

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