My husband takes our son to school by 6:30 am most mornings. This morning was no different, except he brushed his teeth and fixed his hair before he left. He has never once brushed his teeth or fixed his hair before taking him. School is five minutes away. Then he calls me from the school and says he is heading to his shop right then. I asked why he did not mention it before he left. Said he has to get blah blah blah from the shop, and he wants to miss the traffic and he will be back. Makes complete sense, as traffic would be worse in an hour. But my crazy BS mind never thinks like that anymore!!
Okay, so he also never goes anywhere without his coffee first, so running through my mind is that he is meeting someone for coffee or breakfast. My head goes on and on, over playing what he said to me, how he said it and so on.
I told him I was feeling uneasy about the way he did this, and that I thought it was strange that this time he brushed his teeth and did his hair, like he already knew he would just be going. He was there and back to the shop in about 45 minutes. He took pictures for me when he got there and a picture when he left.
I guess I am just sad the way my mind thinks these days. Any movement he makes still to this day out of the normal, gets my mind spinning and wondering what he is up to. I get so angry that I am living my life freaking out even over small things like this!! Drives me crazy!!! I just want my trust that I once had for him to come back!! I am so tired of living my life not being able to just take his word for anything!
Thanks for reading, I am just venting about how much my life has changed after the affair and how crazy my head works now!! I question everything!!!