Cheating Hurt by Infidelity
Betrayal Wayward Donations lying
Welcome

Forums

Guidelines

Find a Local Counselor

The Healing Library

Media

Contact Us
lies
cover
In Association with Amazon.com
Support
Infidelity -
-
like us on facebook
You are not logged in. Login here or register.
[Register]
Newest Member: 44years (45365)

General Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Interesting Read: Why Men Cheat On Loyal Women
4everfaithful83
♀ Member
Member # 41761
Revenge  Posted: 7:05 PM, March 14th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

A friend of mine like this article on facebook and it showed up on my newsfeed. Thought I'd share it because it would be nice if more men thought like this. I hope when I have children I can instill in them the same level of respect for relationships...

http://realnewspaper.wordpress.com/2014/03/13/why-men-cheat-on-loyal-women/


Always know if the juice is worth the squeeze...

ME: 31
WBF: 27
Together 7 years
1 doggie
DDay: June 24, 2013
IN R...


Posts: 565 | Registered: Dec 2013 | From: Pennsylvania
StillGoing
♂ Member
Member # 28571
Default  Posted: 7:16 PM, March 14th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

How big a stink would it be to have "why ALL WOMEN cheat" splattered across a news site?


"You have insulted my footwear."

Posts: 7488 | Registered: May 2010 | From: USA
4everfaithful83
♀ Member
Member # 41761
Default  Posted: 7:18 PM, March 14th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yeah I relate more to it being a "Why humans cheat" or something like that...LOL, In no way do I think only men cheat.


Always know if the juice is worth the squeeze...

ME: 31
WBF: 27
Together 7 years
1 doggie
DDay: June 24, 2013
IN R...


Posts: 565 | Registered: Dec 2013 | From: Pennsylvania
Stillstings
♀ Member
Member # 36549
Default  Posted: 7:19 PM, March 14th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Not all men cheat. Neither do all women. Generalizations are harmful and short sighted.

An empty person who will never be fulfilled
will choose to indulge in damaging behaviors and cry victim when called out.

The author and his ex both sounded hurt and needed to work out issues before getting together.

I learned as Men, we must realize that ONE woman who holds us down and stays by our side, after we cheat on her, lie to her, hurt her, use her and disrespect her over & over & over, she is NOT loyal. She is WEAK. She is poisonous. She will hold back your growth as a Man. Donít be fooled & think a girl telling you what you want to hear is loyalty.

Do not agree with. Total bullshit if I'm reading it correctly. It's not weak. Regardless of gender.


Love yourself. You're worth it. Face your self. You need to do it.

Posts: 367 | Registered: Aug 2012
DTERMINED2SURVIV
♀ Member
Member # 42294
Default  Posted: 7:24 PM, March 14th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I disliked the article. Though I agree he had a lot of great points, especially how a man SHOULD treat a woman. He acted as if he knew what it was like to be a woman. Loyal women are so many things more then just strong women who speak their mind. Loyal women do take things they dont deserve, and that doesnt make them WEAK or "DICKDIZZY" as he described.

agree with the post above!! Just saw that!

[This message edited by DTERMINED2SURVIV at 7:24 PM, March 14th (Friday)]




Posts: 271 | Registered: Feb 2014 | From: Where theres lots of southern HOEspitality
4everfaithful83
♀ Member
Member # 41761
Default  Posted: 7:30 PM, March 14th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Agreed - I definitely don't agree with everything he said. However he seems to understand what it means to be faithful in a relationship, and that I do agree with.


Always know if the juice is worth the squeeze...

ME: 31
WBF: 27
Together 7 years
1 doggie
DDay: June 24, 2013
IN R...


Posts: 565 | Registered: Dec 2013 | From: Pennsylvania
StillGoing
♂ Member
Member # 28571
Default  Posted: 7:31 PM, March 14th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

There was some good shit in that article. I am just tired of the gender distinctions. People do fucked up shit to other people because people are people. not because a dick or lack thereof is involved.


"You have insulted my footwear."

Posts: 7488 | Registered: May 2010 | From: USA
Stillstings
♀ Member
Member # 36549
Default  Posted: 7:43 PM, March 14th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

People do fucked up shit to other people because people are people. not because a dick or lack thereof is involved.

Agree. Women who throw things or punch or slap men are just as bad as their male counterparts. No excuses. I see no reason why women should be given passes and that happens way too often.


Love yourself. You're worth it. Face your self. You need to do it.

Posts: 367 | Registered: Aug 2012
SisterMilkshake
♀ Member
Member # 30024
Default  Posted: 7:51 PM, March 14th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I was kind of put off by the "all men cheat" phrase that he used at first, too. When I read the whole article, he went on to explain that not all men cheat, and to explain the difference between "men" and "males".

Yes, he had some good points. I didn't agree with everything, but he has an interesting pov.


BW (me) 50ish FWH 50ish
Married 34 years, 3 children
d-day 3/10 LTA (4 yrs./fucking & flirting)

"Oh, why do my actions have consequences?" ~ Homer Simpson
"She knew my one weakness: That I'm weak!" ~ Homer Simpson


Posts: 9801 | Registered: Nov 2010 | From: The Great White North USA
Emotionalhell
♀ Member
Member # 39902
Default  Posted: 7:52 PM, March 14th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I don't completely agree with these article.
It takes a strong person to be loyal. It also takes a strong minded person to stay & work things out after infidelity .

The weak ones want their ego stroked.


Posts: 84 | Registered: Jul 2013
hopefulmother
♀ Member
Member # 38790
Default  Posted: 7:54 PM, March 14th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Agree, we are not weak for staying. We are strong. We ooze grace and mercy. Weak are the woman that brought them down. Weak are the men that can't stand on their own without someone else to hold them up. Weak are the men that can't stand up and use a woman as an excuse to not be motivated (hence that they feel loyal woman hold them down). Poor guys, in their Peter Pan fantasy.


Me-BW 39
WH-39
D-day 9-4-12
Major TT 8-14
Friends for 20yrs dating since 2000
Married 10yrs with 2 toddlers
My wedding band is a symbol of hope, forgiveness, love, and grace.

Posts: 946 | Registered: Mar 2013 | From: PA
DTERMINED2SURVIV
♀ Member
Member # 42294
Default  Posted: 7:56 PM, March 14th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Gosh, I wish we had like buttons for people comments lol




Posts: 271 | Registered: Feb 2014 | From: Where theres lots of southern HOEspitality
4everfaithful83
♀ Member
Member # 41761
Default  Posted: 8:12 PM, March 14th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Interestingly enough, I saw what he said about woman staying with a cheater slightly differently...

He never said a woman who stays is weak, what he did say was:

after we cheat on her, lie to her, hurt her, use her and disrespect her over & over & over, she is NOT loyal. She is WEAK.

While I do not agree that that necessarily makes someone weak, what I will say is that you certainty aren't doing the wayward partner (or yourself) any favors. What are you teaching them about their behavior? That if they cheat again and again and again, you will continue to stay with them?

One time can be called a mistake/bad choice. But after that its called repeat behavior.

What is the definition of insanity?

Doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result.

So maybe the correct word instead of weak, is insane?

Maybe what he really should have said was women (people?) who stay with a REPEAT cheater are NOT loyal to THEMSELVES. At what point is enough enough?

I stayed, and I don't see myself as weak, but strong. It takes more effort to stay and ride this rollercoaster than to walk away. However I won't be doing it again, because if there is another DDAY, I'll be packing my bags for damn sure!


Always know if the juice is worth the squeeze...

ME: 31
WBF: 27
Together 7 years
1 doggie
DDay: June 24, 2013
IN R...


Posts: 565 | Registered: Dec 2013 | From: Pennsylvania
RollrCoasterRydr
♀ New Member
Member # 42595
Default  Posted: 8:23 PM, March 14th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I thought the article was great. I was also put off by the title, but once I read the article I got what he was saying. I try real hard not to get too caught up on some of the small stuff that I don't agree with. The takeaway from the article was that we need to have pride in ourselves and to value ourselves and that once we do that, we set the tone in our relationships. We can't expect others to value us more than we value ourselves. It is a message I have to hear over and over. I have to trust that I am worth fighting for and a relationship with me is worth fighting for and if my WS doesn't see it, I need to move on.

Posts: 18 | Registered: Feb 2014 | From: United States
StillGoing
♂ Member
Member # 28571
Default  Posted: 8:33 PM, March 14th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

So maybe the correct word instead of weak, is insane?

Maybe what he really should have said was women (people?) who stay with a REPEAT cheater are NOT loyal to THEMSELVES. At what point is enough enough?

I stayed, and I don't see myself as weak, but strong. It takes more effort to stay and ride this rollercoaster than to walk away. However I won't be doing it again, because if there is another DDAY, I'll be packing my bags for damn sure!

How many people said they wouldn't stay the first time?

I disagree that anyone - man or woman - who stays is by definition weak. There probably are a section of those who fall into that category, but I suspect there's a larger population that is just dealing with the shit sandwiches as best they can.

I guess I'd fall into the weak category. My wife cheated on me when we were very young, then again when we were adults. I didn't know the full extent the first time, nor the other things that happened between the two points in time. I don't consider myself weak for working through this. Though I was probably weak somewhere during that, for taking the disrespect and letting myself go to shit.

Life is too fucking complicated. That's why we have beer.


"You have insulted my footwear."

Posts: 7488 | Registered: May 2010 | From: USA
Merlin
♂ Member
Member # 30221
Default  Posted: 8:49 PM, March 14th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

As everyone can see, there are never any women that stray on loyal men.


"I never saw a wild thing sorry for itself. A bird will fall frozen dead from a bough without ever having felt sorry for itself." D. H. Lawrence

Her: WW/57 Me: BS/63 24yrs M
3 great kids, now 22, 20, 17 b,b,g
D-Day 8/14/08, D 1/13/11


Posts: 1164 | Registered: Nov 2010 | From: East Coast
4everfaithful83
♀ Member
Member # 41761
Default  Posted: 8:51 PM, March 14th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Of course there are. This article was written by a man, about men. What does everyone expect? Why can't we take it for what it is, instead of an attack? If everyone would like, I'll post an article about how woman cheat as well...


Always know if the juice is worth the squeeze...

ME: 31
WBF: 27
Together 7 years
1 doggie
DDay: June 24, 2013
IN R...


Posts: 565 | Registered: Dec 2013 | From: Pennsylvania
unheld
♂ New Member
Member # 42492
Default  Posted: 2:00 AM, March 15th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Really, you are kidding, right?

The only thing interesting about this "article" is this semi-literate, gramatically challenged bozo's laughable amateurish approach to human psychology.

His thesis, if he even understands what a thesis is, is that men cheat to test their woman and make sure she is worthy of their love.

If she does not call him out on his cheating, then she isn't strong enough to be worthy of him.

Either way, his inability to commit to a loving, monogamous relationship is her fault.

How convenient, and excuse me while I barf.

Contrary to the OP's post, it would NOT be "nice" if more men thought like this. (My suspicion is the OP is also the "author" of the "news article.")

I may be heading toward a rant, but, come on, people, just because some dead-brain "writes" an "article" on a blog doesn't mean it is worth reading. To take it a step further, adding this crap to a forum where people are hurting from really deep emotional trauma is almost criminal.

The Internet is not your friend. Fake people on the Internet are not your friends. Stupid, semi-literate people on the Internet are definitely not your friends, nor do they have your best interests at heart.

Yikes, rant level = 9.

That said, flush this dipshit article and pay it no more attention than you would the contents of your cat's litterbox... or not.

To those of you going through the pain and heartache of a cheating spouse, your feelings and emotions are completely valid and your financial troubles and struggles to maintain your lives are real. Please don't let some uninformed, uneducated "blog-writer" influence what you know, think and feel.

Look to the members of these forums for help, advice and support and take every outside source of "information" with a huge grain of salt.

{{{{{Hugs to real people}}}}}

Unheld out...


Posts: 3 | Registered: Feb 2014
4everfaithful83
♀ Member
Member # 41761
Default  Posted: 2:39 AM, March 15th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Wait...are you saying I wrote the article? Because I most definitely did not...

Secondly, its interesting that every single person that reads this article is getting a different opinion on it.

Obviously not everyone actually read the entire article.

You may not agree with everything he wrote (as I did not), but he certainly didn't write anything offensive as to warrant people getting so pissed off.

He said that cheating is wrong, and that he's never cheated. He said he lives his life in a way to prove that loyal men do exist. And yet some of you are taking the one or two things you don't agree with in the article and then saying the whole article is pure shit? Come on...

Yes he may have singled out MEN, but hello, he's a man writing an article about why men cheat. Would seem kinda odd for him to write an article about why woman cheat...

And as far as me saying it would be nice if more men thought like this...what are you insane? The point of the article is to have respect for yourself and that cheating is wrong. Who wouldn't want that?

Quote:

I enjoy going on dates, flirting, courting and enjoy my single life, but in the back of my mind, Iím looking for a WIFE. I have ZERO interest in having side HOES or ďfansĒ. I donít need to have sex with every beautiful woman I meet to prove how much of a ďmanĒ I am. My loyalty, monogamy, spirituality & mental maturity proves that.

Each woman I meet, Iím looking to see if she is Wife Material. Because I know I am Husband material. My mother raised a future husband, not a hoe. I choose to be celibate while single, because my mother raised me to be a father and not a baby daddy. I live my life this way as proof that loyal men do indeed exist.

I feel like some of you read a totally different article than I did, but I'm guessing that has to do with your DDAY date and your emotions at the time of reading it. Just because you don't agree with everything in the article DOES NOT MEAN that there's not something positive to take away from it either.


Always know if the juice is worth the squeeze...

ME: 31
WBF: 27
Together 7 years
1 doggie
DDay: June 24, 2013
IN R...


Posts: 565 | Registered: Dec 2013 | From: Pennsylvania
StillGoing
♂ Member
Member # 28571
Default  Posted: 7:26 AM, March 15th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

wrt the article content, it was about real men don't cheat because they have more pride and self confidence than that. I do think that the guns come out quickly anymore around here because it isn't uncommon to see posts or links to articles that really do try to make claims that all men cheat. I think judging the article under a false light in that way is unfair, because it's not about "all men cheat" and it does have a lot of good insight.

I apologize if I set the tone of responses in some way. I still stand by the idea that it is tiring to see gender distinctions - and I do not think it would be strange for a man to write about why women cheat at all; in fact, I feel I would have far greater insight into the infidelity of my wife than any multitude of betrayed wives who never cheated, while the reverse is quite likely also true in similarly individual situations.

I do think that the author is on the road to a good idea, but I'm not sure even he is aware he is making a lot of the focus about the weakness of the mate rather than the weakness of the cheater.

[This message edited by StillGoing at 7:29 AM, March 15th (Saturday)]


"You have insulted my footwear."

Posts: 7488 | Registered: May 2010 | From: USA
Topic Posts: 26
Pages: 1 · 2

Return to Forum: General Post Reply to this Topic
adultry
Go to :
madness  
© 2002 - 2014 SurvivingInfidelity.com. All Rights Reserved.