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User Topic: Interesting Read: Why Men Cheat On Loyal Women
hopefulmother
♀ Member
Member # 38790
Default  Posted: 11:41 AM, March 15th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

4everfaithful83

So true, I can see it that way. Mine has only cheated once, but if he did it again. I am so gone. In the context of a woman staying again and again...I can see that as being weak to your own loyalty of what is healthy for you. Being weak to your own values. True, that would be insanity to me.

I try not to make those comments about woman that stay over and over again. After all, I never thought before this happened that I would stay with mine after one time.

[This message edited by hopefulmother at 11:49 AM, March 15th (Saturday)]


Me-BW 39
WH-39
D-day 9-4-12
Major TT 8-14
Friends for 20yrs dating since 2000
Married 9yrs with 2 toddlers
My wedding band is a symbol of hope, forgiveness, love, and grace.

Posts: 933 | Registered: Mar 2013 | From: PA
4everfaithful83
♀ Member
Member # 41761
Default  Posted: 11:50 AM, March 15th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

yes, agreed Hopefulmother.

And I only make those statements speaking for myself. I know that I could not stay after another DDAY because one was enough for me. I too said I would never stay after one (naive I know...) but now that I've had a DDAY, I know with confidence that I wouldn't stay if there was another.

Why? It has nothing to do with being stronger or not weak or anything like that. I just know that I could not handle all the emotions and crying and trying to work things out again. It has physically exhausted me for the last 8 months, and especially since I am starting to get to a better place, I couldn't imagine going back to square one. And that is my opinion, for my life and ME alone. No one else has to share this same view, as everyone is different.


Always know if the juice is worth the squeeze...

ME: 31
WBF: 27
Together 7 years
1 doggie
DDay: June 24, 2013
IN R...


Posts: 565 | Registered: Dec 2013 | From: Pennsylvania
womaninflux
♀ Member
Member # 39667
Default  Posted: 12:26 PM, March 15th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I agree with Unheld.

The writer's assessment of why a woman who allows a man to keep cheating is really unworthy of him and she must be "dickdizzy" is one really crazy way of looking at things. Please. No man is all THAT in bed.

A person who allows the same person to keep treating them badly has self esteem issues in general. This is true if it is a friend who keeps canceling on you at the last second, or attacks you because they aren't happy with something that happened but isn't in your control (can you tell this has happened to me?). And it's true if it is a romantic relationship, too. Obviously, if you are married - and especially if there are children involved - it's not as easy to walk away.


BS - mid-40's
SAWH - mid 40's
Kids - 2 elementary school aged
Getting tons of therapy and trying to "work it out"

Posts: 864 | Registered: Jun 2013
4everfaithful83
♀ Member
Member # 41761
Default  Posted: 12:33 PM, March 15th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

she must be "dickdizzy" is one really crazy way of looking at things. Please. No man is all THAT in bed.

womaninflux - HAHA! I'll second that! I didn't agree with this part of the article either.


Always know if the juice is worth the squeeze...

ME: 31
WBF: 27
Together 7 years
1 doggie
DDay: June 24, 2013
IN R...


Posts: 565 | Registered: Dec 2013 | From: Pennsylvania
sisoon
♂ Member
Member # 31240
Default  Posted: 2:35 PM, March 15th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I agree with and tip my hat in admiration to unheld.

IMO, this guy set up some ridiculous straw en and then knocked them down and bragged about his prowess.

That's at least partly true for many of us, but that brings us back to unheld's valid criticisms.


fBH (me) - 70 (22 in my head), fWW (plainsong) - 65+, Married 45+, together since 1965
DDay - 12/2010
Recovered, not yet fully R'ed
I share my own experience because it's the only experience I know, not because I'm a good model.

Posts: 9991 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: Chicago area
strengthandhope
♀ Member
Member # 37907
Default  Posted: 9:19 PM, March 15th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I read this on FB earlier today. It struck a huge cord with me since I am on DD #4 as of Feb 28. I do not appreciate being called weak. I do not make excuses or hide my feelings concerning my husband's behavior. This past DD was the first PA discovered. I was never "ok" with the previous pic sharing and dirty chat. I am having a difficult time and seeing this really upset me. I agree with Unheld. I am ashamed this is getting the rounds it is. Also it seems he is writing from a single twentysomething peperspective. Not married for nearly ten years with children. Sorry but I cannot recommend this article for anyone.


Me: BS 30s
Him: SAWH, 30s sexting, pic sharing & phone sex with men & women
2 kids, M 8 yrs
DD#1 3/08, DD#2 7/11, DD#3 10/12 DD#4 2/14
OW #1 PA from 6/13-8/13 CL Troll
OW #2 EA from 11/13-2/14 online/phone sex A
Taking R 90 days at a time.

Posts: 170 | Registered: Dec 2012 | From: Mid west
Topic Posts: 26
Pages: 1 · 2

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