For the 4th time now (out of 6 visits) WH has promised to come and not shown up.
I over heard Miss 7 & 9 talking in their room... asking why didnt he come... Miss 7 said he "was doing something else" Miss 9 suggested that they are "the back up plan". That broke my heart today.
He will pay dearly for his choices and his apathy toward them. I work with a young associate whose father left after he had an A. My coworker was about 14 at the time. He told me that he saw his dad when he was supposed to and that his father paid support. Beyond that, there wasn't much of a closeness left, certainly nothing like with his mother. This co worker told me that he loves his dad, always will. But, now that he's an adult, he acknowledges the big difference between his feelings for his mother and his father. He told me that if his mother ever needs anything, he will drop whatever he's doing to get to her as fast as he can. She stayed to love him and raise him every single day. If his father ever calls on him for help, he will have to check his calendar and see if he's available.
I didn't leave and, as hard as being a single parent is and as hard as its gonna get as they get older, I won't leave and they know that. My exWH didn't have to go. That was all his choice and for that, he will pay in the form of his children's love.
He was a lousy, disconnected dad before I met him, though when we were dating he was busy putting on an impressive super dad display. Once we married he partially checked out, but I picked up the slack for him without really realizing what was happening. Now that we are divorced, he's back to being useless and mostly unavailable to his five kids. Even his OEW (the kids mom) told me, "The best dad he ever was was while he was with you."
The saddest thing of all is he's totally focused on OW's two kids, who are grown (19 and 22) but live with them full time. His own kids rarely visit and he couldn't care less. Obviously this is all about impressing OW and nothing more. None of it is real. I know his kids are really hurt by this; they feel replaced. I hope someday when they are older they can see it for what it is, and know that it was something wrong with HIM, not with them.
XWH always said he didn't want to turn out like his father. What a shame that he's too stupid/arrogant/blind/NPD to see that's exactly what has happened.
Rock bottom became the solid foundation on which I rebuilt my life. ~ JK Rowling
He did this to himself. He could of opted to not be with her let alone leaving our home to move in with her. He has chosen her over his kids. That is as low as it gets.
Chester isn't allowed near kids - ever again.
If I went to Hogwarts, my Patronus would be my Big Sister - GWADW