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New Beginnings     Print Topic    
User Topic: Update to the date- men, please?
jo2love
♀ Moderator
Member # 31528
Default  Posted: 12:54 PM, March 15th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((((Williesmom)))))

I'm so sorry you are going through this. I can not express enough that this isn't your fault. Please call the police and go to the ER. Even if you don't want to press charges, please consider at least filing a report. He had no right to choke you or violate you. No means no. What a complete jackass!!

Sending you strength and hugs.


Posts: 35044 | Registered: Mar 2011
risingfromashes
♀ Member
Member # 3903
Default  Posted: 12:59 PM, March 15th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((((((Williesmom)))))))
You did nothing wrong.


There is life on the other side of hell.

Posts: 1626 | Registered: Mar 2004
better4me
♀ Member
Member # 30341
Default  Posted: 1:11 PM, March 15th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((((Williesmom))))

This is not your fault. None of it! I'm so sorry this happened to you.


DDay 11/17/2010 BW:52
Divorced

Posts: 3122 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: Iowa
tryingagain74
♀ Member
Member # 33698
Default  Posted: 1:13 PM, March 15th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm so glad you're okay. I haven't read the other posts, but based on your description, it sounds to me like he assaulted you. I think I would contact the police if I were you, especially since he's texting you like crazy. He thinks that assaulting you is sexy and that the date went well? He sounds unstable.

(((Williesmom)))


BS (Me) 39
Happily liberated!
Two DS and One DD
It matters not how strait the gate,/How charged with punishments the scroll./I am the master of my fate:/I am the captain of my soul.--"Invictus," William Ernest Henley

Posts: 3594 | Registered: Oct 2011
5454real
♂ Member
Member # 37455
Default  Posted: 1:20 PM, March 15th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Please, please, at a minimum, go to the ER. You need to get tested for exposure. I am so sorry. I hope they will refer you to a rape crisis counselor.

Strength(((WM)))

They will handle the reporting.


BH 51, WW 42
DS 23(Mine),SD 21,SS 20(Hers),DS 9 Ours, DGS 3, DGD 1 mo
D=Day #1 5/04EA (Rugswept)
D-Day #2 3/10/12, TT til 3/13/12
Married 10yrs
“I have no love for a friend who loves in words alone.”
― Sophocles, Antigone

Posts: 2789 | Registered: Nov 2012 | From: midwest
Williesmom
♀ Member
Member # 22870
Default  Posted: 1:26 PM, March 15th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I can't go to the local ER. My sister works there. It's a small town. Everyone talks. I don't want to go to the city for this, and I don't want my family involved.


You can stuff your sorries in a sack, mister. -George Costanza
There is a special place in hell for women who don't help other women. - Madeleine Albright

Posts: 7615 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: Western PA
Bebba1171
♂ Member
Member # 33857
Default  Posted: 2:03 PM, March 15th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I am so so sorry Williesmom. He should be locked up for that..


Divorced by Interlocutory decree in May 2012. WW had an affair with a 66 yo doctor she worked for.
D-Day Sept 16. 2011.
BH- 52 (Me) / XWW 50 - ages back in 2011
Two great kids that don't deserve this!

Posts: 727 | Registered: Nov 2011 | From: USA
mainlyinpain
♀ Member
Member # 39134
Default  Posted: 2:17 PM, March 15th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

So sorry WM,

If not the ER can you just go file a police report? At the very least this may be on his record and may help stop him doing this to someone else. And you will feel that you had some power back that he took from you. Take someone with you.
No means no. And doing something to you when you are asleep is definitely assault. Also, if he tries coming around to your house you will already have on file that you feel he is a danger to you.

(((WM))))


DD 1 - 7/7/2004
DD 2 - 10/31/2011
DD 3 - 4/30/2013(or continuation?)(Yes)
DD 4 - 9/25/2013
DD 5 - 2/15/2014 (found phone from 2009)

Posts: 488 | Registered: Apr 2013
Jrazz
♀ Guide
Member # 31349
Default  Posted: 2:42 PM, March 15th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Wiliesmom, this is NOT your fault. You need medical and psychological support immediately.

I haven't been in your shoes specifically, but I have been in a similar situation where I felt like because I allowed it to continue I was going to be help responsible and humiliated if I told anyone.

This man is a danger to women. If not for yourself, please report him so that he pays the consequences and thinks twice before every violating someone again.

I'm sick and sad for you. Sending love and hugs. Take care of yourself and don't worry about what the community thinks. You deserve help and compassion for this.

((((((((Williesmom)))))))))))


It is better to be slapped with the truth than kissed with a lie. -Russian Proverb

Posts: 17232 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: California
SisterMilkshake
♀ Member
Member # 30024
Default  Posted: 2:55 PM, March 15th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((((((((((((((((Williesmom)))))))))))))))))) I am so sorry. That is truly awful.

I agree that you might want to file a police report at the very least. Also, if you met him on an OLD service he needs to be reported to the owners of the OLD service. That is a very scary man, WM, he physically and sexually assaulted you. I can't imagine you are his only victim.


BW (me) 50ish FWH 50ish
Married 34 years, 3 children
d-day 3/10 LTA (4 yrs./fucking & flirting)

"Oh, why do my actions have consequences?" ~ Homer Simpson
"She knew my one weakness: That I'm weak!" ~ Homer Simpson


Posts: 9619 | Registered: Nov 2010 | From: The Great White North USA
nowiknow23
♀ Guide
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 2:59 PM, March 15th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((((((Williesmom)))))) Honey, I am so very sorry. You are in NO way responsible for what he did. Inviting someone to dinner? Not an invitation to violate you. Sleeping with someone? Not an invitation to violate you.

You told him no. Anything after that was rape. Period.

My heart hurts for you and what you went through last night and what you are experiencing today.

This isn't your fault. You have no cause for embarrassment or shame.


You can call me NIK

"Sometimes it takes a good fall to know where you really stand."
-Hayley Williams


Posts: 25249 | Registered: Aug 2011
authenticnow
♀ Moderator
Member # 16024
Default  Posted: 3:10 PM, March 15th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((((Williesmom)))))

I understand your reluctance to file a police report and to go to the ER, but please get checked out medically. Can you go to your private practitioner? Also, please use the link that Persevere sent you. A rape counselor can help you and it will be kept confidential. The agency I work for (in NY) has rape advocates. They gently guide the victim with whatever is needed. They won't push you to do anything you don't want to do. Reach out to your bff for support, and to an agency that is meant to help victims when you're ready (sooner rather than later for the medical part).

Giant hugs to you.


Take up your space (and do it well).

"That's the thing about pain, it demands to be felt."


Posts: 37521 | Registered: Sep 2007
tesla
♀ Member
Member # 34697
Default  Posted: 3:28 PM, March 15th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((((((((((WM)))))))))))
I am so very sorry.
I am so angry for you. I want to find this piece of shit and I want to hurt him.


"Thou art the son and heir of a mongrel bitch." --King Lear

Posts: 4618 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: Indiana
inconnu
♀ Member
Member # 24518
Default  Posted: 3:30 PM, March 15th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((williesmom))) oh sweetie, I am so, so sorry this happened to you.


Say what you wanna say and let the words fall out...honestly
I wanna see you be brave

Pretty pretty please, don't you ever ever feel
Like you're less than, less than perfect


Posts: 12146 | Registered: Jun 2009 | From: TX
BrokenRoad
♀ Member
Member # 15334
Default  Posted: 3:45 PM, March 15th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Big hugs


{Him}FBH - 43 (WifeHad5)
{Me} FWW - 43
2 kids 7 & 12
Reconciled :)
Beauty and folly are old companions.--Benjamin Franklin

Posts: 10672 | Registered: Jul 2007 | From: Midwest
Lyonesse
♀ Member
Member # 32943
Default  Posted: 4:05 PM, March 15th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I am so sorry, WM. Please talk to someone at the Rape Crisis Center.


Me: BS, 40's.

Posts: 1794 | Registered: Jul 2011 | From: West Coast
somanyyears
♂ Member
Member # 26970
Default  Posted: 4:06 PM, March 15th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


..OMG.. he sounds like the type of sicko that uses the date-rape drug on women..

..police should be informed as well as the OLD service..

..you probably aren't the first, nor will you be the last woman to fall victim to this inhuman sick bastard..

..did he possibly slip you a drug? ..you were 'asleep' when the hand assault happened??

..this guy needs to be taken off the street before he goes any further..

..sorry you had to go thru that torture.. because that's what it was!!

smy


trust no other human- love only your pets
She isn't and never was who I thought..I can't believe who I married and what she did to us.
Me 67
Her 63
Married 42 yrs (together 47)
18 yr LTA with bf


Posts: 4122 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: the sad state of affairs
rachelc
♀ Member
Member # 30314
Default  Posted: 4:13 PM, March 15th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Williesmom - first, many hugs.
I'm not sure if I am allowed to post on this forum but I'm going to anyway.
I've been in your shoes. I was embarrassed. Embarrassed that I didn't somehow stop this. Too embarrassed to go to the hospital because I thought that somehow I was at fault. I didn't scream, I didn't fight. i JUST SAID NO. and that, my dear, is enough.
There are times in our lives when we have to make choices for our future and this may be one of them. I didn't go to the hospital because there was no struggle or fight, he didn't hold me down or anything like that. But I did say no, same as you. so, I was confused. I should have gone anyway.

Is there ANY WAY you could go to a hospital in an adjoining city? EVEN IF you decide not to do anything you can get the rape kit done and not proceed any further by telling them his name. It could be evidence you have in the bag until you make a decision. And right now, it may take time to get some clarity on this.

I am writing this to you and crying triggering because I didn't go to the hospital. I know how hard it is. But you were raped, plain and simple. And you are a good worthy person who has been taken advantage of. Do what is right for you. Take care of yourself. Please know that everyone here is in your corner and you did not deserve this treatment. This guy actually sounds quite sick.

I'm so sorry. Do you have anyone IRL you can lean on at this time?
Hugs!!!


his Ddays: 2/10, 7/11
my Ddays: 1/12, 4/12 broken NC 12/12

me (WW/BS): 48
him: (BS/WH)52
4 kiddos in mid 20's

Me: I didn't sign up for this.
Him: you're already in this. All you can do is resign...


Posts: 4881 | Registered: Dec 2010
5454real
♂ Member
Member # 37455
Default  Posted: 4:15 PM, March 15th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((WM)),
I understand. The shame, the embarrassment. So does he. In fact he's counting on it. From your description of events, this isn't the first time he's done this. I also suspect a *date rape* drug. He even had the audacity to re-contact you after the events. Probably to see if he needed to get an alibi ready.

Please, if not your local ER, get one you are comfortable at being anonymous. This prick needs to be stopped. YOU need help. You're in shock. The trauma is massive. Please.

Strength


BH 51, WW 42
DS 23(Mine),SD 21,SS 20(Hers),DS 9 Ours, DGS 3, DGD 1 mo
D=Day #1 5/04EA (Rugswept)
D-Day #2 3/10/12, TT til 3/13/12
Married 10yrs
“I have no love for a friend who loves in words alone.”
― Sophocles, Antigone

Posts: 2789 | Registered: Nov 2012 | From: midwest
hexed
♀ Member
Member # 19258
Default  Posted: 6:11 PM, March 15th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((Williesmom)))

I don't know if you should or shouldn't go to the ER or report it to the police. I would call the cops but I understand small towns.

Talk to your BFF and talk to an IC. This is not OK...at all. EVER. It is not normal!!! It is not OK. and it is NOT NOT NOT your fault.

I am so sorry this happened to you.


But that's just a lot of water
Underneath a bridge I burned
And there's no use in backtracking
Around corners I have turned

“Many of us crucify ourselves between two thieves - regret for the past and fear of the future.” -foulton oursler


Posts: 8440 | Registered: Apr 2008
Topic Posts: 90
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