Cheating Hurt by Infidelity
Betrayal Wayward Donations lying
Welcome

Forums

Guidelines

Find a Local Counselor

The Healing Library

Media

Contact Us
lies
cover
In Association with Amazon.com
Support
Infidelity -
-
like us on facebook
You are not logged in. Login here or register.
[Register]
Newest Member: Monautresoi (45079)

New Beginnings     Print Topic    
User Topic: Update to the date- men, please?
gardenparty
Member
Member # 12050
Default  Posted: 6:34 PM, March 15th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Holy shit, this is just awful. I have no advice, can't even imagine how bad this is but just wanted to send hugs. This is a terrible, terrible thing Williesmom.


divorced!

Posts: 2688 | Registered: Sep 2006 | From: newfoundland
Bebba1171
♂ Member
Member # 33857
Default  Posted: 6:35 PM, March 15th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I want to share a bit of information on Williesmom.

She was one of my first friends on SI. We both have Welsh Corgis which we adore. She has a corgi named Willie who is just spectacular.

A couple years ago, when I was coming back late from a trip; we agreed to speak for the first time. I think I called her around 9:00pm my time which was 10:00pm her time.

We had a wonderful conversation, and the longer it went; the more I could tell she was concerned about me driving late at night after a long business trip and wanted to keep me on the phone to make sure I didn't fall asleep. I think we spoke for over 90 minutes on a weeknight.

Williesmom is well educated and extremely intelligent and has a very good job in the finance field.

She is also a huge dog lover and we like to share pictures of our dogs. I believe most of her dogs are rescue dogs.

I invited myself to her beautiful home on top of a mountain an hour north of Pittsburgh last year and she was a very nice hostess.

We had a grand time, talking about our X's, our jobs, our dogs, our SI friends, our dating experiences, etc.

We both live in smaller towns where finding people to date isn't easy.

She has given me a lot of excellent advice on things which I really appreciate.

What a wonderful woman!

Please join me in sending hugs,mojo, prayers, etc. to this tremendously beautiful woman that was clearly wronged by such an evil person.

Her situation is complicated for sure considering where she lives. I am certain she will make the best decisions.

I do love you Williesmom. You are such a wonderful friend that I appreciate so much. All of us on SI love you for what a good person you are...

[This message edited by Bebba1171 at 6:39 PM, March 15th (Saturday)]


Divorced by Interlocutory decree in May 2012. WW had an affair with a 66 yo doctor she worked for.
D-Day Sept 16. 2011.
BH- 52 (Me) / XWW 50 - ages back in 2011
Two great kids that don't deserve this!

Posts: 727 | Registered: Nov 2011 | From: USA
FaithFool
♀ Member
Member # 20150
Default  Posted: 6:50 PM, March 15th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I can't stop thinking about this. Sending tons more hugs to you WM.

I hope you can talk to an IC and work through the trauma of this awful thing.

And yes, I would love to get a BitchBoots posse together, and go find this guy and give him a taste of his own medicine.

Sick fucker.


DDay: June 15, 2008
Mistakenly married Mr. Superfreak
20 years of OWs, WTF?
Divorced Dec 26, 2011
"Life is a shipwreck, but we must not forget
to sing in the lifeboats". -- Voltaire

Posts: 17413 | Registered: Jul 2008 | From: Canada
Nature_Girl
♀ Member
Member # 32554
Default  Posted: 6:51 PM, March 15th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((HUGS)))

You have been sexually assaulted. Since it occurred during a social interaction, people would call it a date rape. It's still a sexual assault.

It doesn't matter that you initially consented to having him in your home or that you initially consented to any degree of sexual activity. THAT PART DOESN'T MATTER.

It doesn't matter that you were possibly nice to him afterwards. Actually that was probably the most strategically wise thing you could have done. Do anything, say anything, just to get him out of your space. That's Survival 101, and you did it.

What does matter is that he physically overpowered you and was sexual with you, repeatedly, after you said no.

The phone bombing you now is an attempt at damage control. He knows he raped you. He is afraid you'll report it.

I pray you will contact an advocacy hotline in your area. I want you to get help. Sure, have your BFF go with you for moral support. But please also have some trained volunteers guide you, too. The volunteers will be women like those of us here, really nice women who want nothing more than to be a strong voice of compassion, a knowledgeable person who can make sure you get treated with respect, who makes sure that any report you give to any authority is taken seriously.

My heart goes out to you, Hon. I, too, have been sexually assaulted while on a date. I wish I would have reported him, but I didn't. I didn't even know I could.

Take care of yourself, and please let your friends help care for you as well.


Me = BS (Stay-at-home-mom)
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - I DIVORCED HIM, I'M FREE!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RBOJpIwF47Y

Posts: 9715 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: USA
Whalers11
♀ Member
Member # 27544
Default  Posted: 6:56 PM, March 15th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((Williesmom))

I don't have any advice that hasn't already been given. Just hugs.


Me: BGF - 33
Together 11+ years - not married, no children.
D-Day: 2/9/2010
OC Born: 10/9/2010
Status: He chose OW/OC and left immediately.

Posts: 2231 | Registered: Feb 2010
Mousse242
♀ Member
Member # 6330
Default  Posted: 7:01 PM, March 15th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

File charges.

Posts: 5473 | Registered: Jan 2005 | From: Chicago
Williesmom
♀ Member
Member # 22870
Default  Posted: 7:04 PM, March 15th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thanks, all. I forced myself to eat, but it's just laying In my stomach.

I'm going to try to just sleep this awful feeling off for today and gather my thoughts.


You can stuff your sorries in a sack, mister. -George Costanza
There is a special place in hell for women who don't help other women. - Madeleine Albright

Posts: 7697 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: Western PA
Sad in AZ
♀ Member
Member # 24239
Default  Posted: 7:11 PM, March 15th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Sweetie, you need to see someone, and you really need to report this to the police. Believe me, they've heard this before. I know you're embarrassed, but you need to talk to someone. This will eat at you if you don't.

You are an incredibly beautiful, smart and strong woman. I hate that you are hurting.


I solemnly swear that I am up to no good.

Posts: 20229 | Registered: Jun 2009 | From: Upstate NY
yearsofpain25
♂ Member
Member # 42012
Default  Posted: 7:13 PM, March 15th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

OMG WM. This is so awful. I don't need to add anything that hasn't already been said. My heart goes out to you!! Know that I will be thinking of you tonight.

Every woman I have ever been with has been sexually assaulted. I wish this had never happened to you.

((((((((((((((((((((Williesmom))))))))))))))))))))


25 years and counting of pain caused by mother's infidelity. Aftermath: 1 deceased sibling, 1 lost family, 3 lost souls.
"Each new day I am just glad to be alive and have survived all that I did." Ashland13

Posts: 2154 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: Northeast US
fireproof
♀ Member
Member # 36126
Default  Posted: 7:21 PM, March 15th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I am sorry this happened. I would talk to your Gyn doctor.

I would also talk to your BFF and your friends for their support.

If anyone makes you uncomfortable to that degree even far less call 911 and ask the person to leave or go in another room and ask someone you trust to come over.

I am glad you are alive.


Posts: 986 | Registered: Jul 2012
yearsofpain25
♂ Member
Member # 42012
Default  Posted: 7:57 PM, March 15th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I can't stop thinking about this. I truly sorry WM. I don't know what to say


25 years and counting of pain caused by mother's infidelity. Aftermath: 1 deceased sibling, 1 lost family, 3 lost souls.
"Each new day I am just glad to be alive and have survived all that I did." Ashland13

Posts: 2154 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: Northeast US
Stillstings
♀ Member
Member # 36549
Default  Posted: 8:37 PM, March 15th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Please see your doctor. You mentioned his hand was inside you so make sure he didn't cause any internal damage. That is an extreme sexual act and even the women I know who enjoy such contact were very cautious as were their partners to avoid causing injuries. Also please get an STD check to be safe.

This was rape. It is nothing to be embarrassed about, he did this to you, it was not asked for. I get the small town worries, BTDT as many of my family members, myself included were in healthcare in a small community. Confidentiality laws are in place for a reason, and you can tell the doctors, nurses, assistants or whoever for extra safety if needed.

Report him. Intelligence, status, nothing matters when it comes to this type of stuff. You are not stupid or naive. Countless women and men find themselves in these situations, you are not alone at all.


Love yourself. You're worth it. Face your self. You need to do it.

Posts: 365 | Registered: Aug 2012
hexed
♀ Member
Member # 19258
Default  Posted: 8:44 PM, March 15th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Bebba and anyone else familiar with WM's location...could you maybe help do some leg work for her and find the contact info for the local crisis hotline? or DV resources? and send her the info so she has it? Sometimes finding things or even taking action after you've been traumatized is so hard. She might not be ready yet or ever but if she is, that might help.


more love going out to you WM! i'm so angry and sad for you right now.


But that's just a lot of water
Underneath a bridge I burned
And there's no use in backtracking
Around corners I have turned

“Many of us crucify ourselves between two thieves - regret for the past and fear of the future.” -foulton oursler


Posts: 8452 | Registered: Apr 2008
Williesmom
♀ Member
Member # 22870
Default  Posted: 8:46 PM, March 15th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I have been sent good info. I also have an EAP at work that I used during his A.


You can stuff your sorries in a sack, mister. -George Costanza
There is a special place in hell for women who don't help other women. - Madeleine Albright

Posts: 7697 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: Western PA
hexed
♀ Member
Member # 19258
Default  Posted: 8:50 PM, March 15th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((WM))

Good! I'm glad that you have been. I'm glad you have an EAP. You're amazing :) Just worried about you and angry at the person who thinks this is OK. Hope I'm not too pushy. (save the texts)


But that's just a lot of water
Underneath a bridge I burned
And there's no use in backtracking
Around corners I have turned

“Many of us crucify ourselves between two thieves - regret for the past and fear of the future.” -foulton oursler


Posts: 8452 | Registered: Apr 2008
JenniMay
♀ Member
Member # 24595
Default  Posted: 9:04 PM, March 15th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Oh my gosh, Williesmom. I am so sorry.

My thoughts & prayers are with you as you deal with this.

Hugs...


Betrayed after 13 years of marriage.
DDay & Separated - June 2009
Divorced - March 2010


Posts: 669 | Registered: Jun 2009 | From: On the Coast in Virginia
caregiver9000
♀ Member
Member # 28622
Default  Posted: 9:21 PM, March 15th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((((hugs))))

I hope you are not alone. Even if you don't disclose, can someone come and stay?


Me: 44, independent, happy, despite co-parenting with a lower muppet
FT "Stretch" (and Skew!) ;)
DS 13 DS 10
S 5/2010
D 12/2012

Posts: 5842 | Registered: May 2010 | From: a better place
JanaGreen
♀ Member
Member # 29341
Default  Posted: 9:37 PM, March 15th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm so sorry WM. I can't imagine how hard this must be for you. ((Hugs))


We're both in our 30s. One awesome 4-year-old daughter.

Posts: 6778 | Registered: Aug 2010 | From: Somewhere in the South
PurpleRose
♀ Member
Member # 33129
Default  Posted: 9:49 PM, March 15th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

sending hugs and strength... praying you are ok and will have clarity in the coming days to do what you need to do.

I am so sorry this "nice guy" was actually a rapist! He deserves to be punished, and I hope you know this is NOT your fault. :(


divorced the Dooosh
*****************************
even if you find your voice,
sometimes it does not matter anymore,
when you speak to a man who is deaf by choice.
~dodinsky

Posts: 3605 | Registered: Aug 2011 | From: Happyville
Bluebird26
♀ Member
Member # 36445
Default  Posted: 10:02 PM, March 15th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Please, please, please get some help with this, I understand not wanting to involve your family but isn't there some sort of patient confidentiality clause by medical staff where you are?


You have done nothing wrong he is a jerk that needs to be stopped.


"Loving someone should not mean losing you. Love empowers you. It shouldn't erase you. - Thelma Davis.

Posts: 1349 | Registered: Aug 2012 | From: Australia
Topic Posts: 90
Pages: 1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5

Return to Forum: New Beginnings Lock This Topic is Locked
adultry
Go to :
madness  
© 2002 - 2014 SurvivingInfidelity.com. All Rights Reserved.