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Divorce/Separation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Kid wisdom
Jennifer99
♀ Member
Member # 39551
Default  Posted: 7:45 AM, March 16th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Sometimes I think I have the world's greatest kid. I know there are a lot of wise children out there. I sometimes forget how strong and wise my son is and to trust in that and trust also that if he isn't feeling strong or is feeling scared, he'll show me (intentionally or not).

I thought maybe it would be nice to post some positive things about our children as they go through this to remind us they can be ok if we are ok.

-------------------------

I am pregnant, due in June. My original plan was to be out of the shared house hell before delivering dd. As I am flailing around with that, it hits me yesterday - the nesting need I haven't bought anything that won't fit in a 32 gal tote for the baby. I have nothing left from when ds was a baby. I keep thinking "wait, buy when you are settled elsewhere". But yesterday, during a REALLY long day of school work, I was wishing for distraction I think and that distraction turned into a manic type need to figure out zomg where's the baby gonna sleep wherever we are?!?!?!

So I started looking at crib options - reg, mini, portable, playyard, moses basket, cosleepers, bednests, all of it. Various things were ruled out by reading reviews (like bednests - yeah, with just me in bed the baby would always be lopsided from my big butt pulling down that side lol). Then I found a hack on pinterest to make an ikea crib ($69) into a cosleeper then crib then toddler bed. I got so excited because it looked simple enough I could set up at one place then if I moved, take down and take with.... so I sent ds to find stbxh's measuring tape (nts - need your own toolbox). DS had a great time helping me measure my current room (no extra room to be baby's room here at stbxh's house, rental). I started talking about xh needing to remove a few piles of junk to make room for the cosleeper thingy and then DS said something...

DS says you don't really want to be here with a new baby dealing with dad's crap do ya? Why are we getting ready for this like we have to, we still have time, we need to work harder on finding you a new home. Think how much better you will feel when you don't have to dread coming home to here, just me and sissy, think how much happier our house will be when you can just not think about him and be home. IF the baby comes and we don't have a bed for her yet, can't we just go to the store and get one of those playyard things with the baby bed in it and put her there til we figure it out?

An 11yo can quell the crazy nesting mess of a pregnant lady - I think he has a future in diplomacy, maybe hostage rescue?


Posts: 556 | Registered: Jun 2013
tesla
♀ Member
Member # 34697
Default  Posted: 8:42 AM, March 16th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


"Thou art the son and heir of a mongrel bitch." --King Lear

Posts: 4693 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: Indiana
jackie89
♀ Member
Member # 38271
Default  Posted: 10:11 AM, March 16th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Awwww! What a great kid! Your DS, didn't just come to be this amazing kid by himself, that is a reflection of YOU, and what an amazing MOMMY you are.

I've had moments like that with my DD14, where she tells me things, that truly amaze me as a mom, and instantly pulls me out of my "poor me" moments.

I think our kids were kind of forced to grow up faster than "normal" kids.


Separated/divorcing

"The Secret of Change is to focus all your energy - not on fighting the old, but on building the new" ~~Lori Greiner FB post~~


Posts: 522 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: Pennsylvania
Pass
♂ Member
Member # 38122
Default  Posted: 11:41 AM, March 16th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

What a sweet kid!


Loyal spouse: Me; Disloyal spouse: The Princess
Two sons: Now 11 and 14
DDay: Nov 15, 2012
Separated: Mar 2, 2013 after 17 year marriage, now divorcing!

The best thing about hitting rock bottom is that everything after that looks fucking fabulous


Posts: 2143 | Registered: Jan 2013
norabird
♀ Member
Member # 42092
Default  Posted: 2:45 PM, March 16th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

In Finland the government gives out a box of baby supplies to all new parents--and then the babies all sleep in the empty box! So your DS has the right idea


Sit. Feast on your life.

Posts: 4196 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: NYC
Jennifer99
♀ Member
Member # 39551
Default  Posted: 8:41 PM, March 16th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I slept in a dresser drawer.

Posts: 556 | Registered: Jun 2013
Harriet
♀ Member
Member # 34543
Default  Posted: 8:59 PM, March 16th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Great kid!!! Really has a savvy understanding of things for his age.

Nice thing from my DD: a neighbor has been helping me chauffeur her to soccer games. He said, "She really thinks highly of you." I said, "Yeah?" He says, "Yes, I can hear the girls chattering in the car and she is always saying that you're awesome."

I have been riding on that cloud for a few days now!


D-Day Spring 2008
3 years false R
Divorce Final 6/7/12

Posts: 500 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: California
Lost15
♀ Member
Member # 40898
Default  Posted: 9:40 PM, March 16th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

What a great kid!


me(BS)-34 him(WS)-32 DS-15
Married 15 years
Blindsided with divorce 07-12-13
DD-08-1-13 OW-40ish,married 20 yrs, with 4 kids she abandoned
Divorcing and trying to move one tiny step forward at a time.

Posts: 114 | Registered: Oct 2013
thebighurt
♀ Member
Member # 34722
Default  Posted: 12:35 AM, March 17th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I agree with you. He has a great future ahead of him.


Finding what life could have been....... Why didn't I see it?

Posts: 2396 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: the Other Side
dmari
♀ Member
Member # 37215
Default  Posted: 12:46 AM, March 17th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I am loving your son! Perhaps he is a mini Dr. Phil.


Me (BS): 43 Children: DD 19, DS 15
Divorced September 30, 2014
"It's always darkest before the dawn ..."

Posts: 2284 | Registered: Oct 2012
karmahappens
♀ Member
Member # 35846
Default  Posted: 12:51 AM, March 17th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hey Jennifer

I don't post here, but the topic caught my eye.

I know the chances are slim to none, but if you are near Massachusetts my son and his girlfriend had a baby in October. I went a little nuts buying stuff

I have a pack n play, infant car seat w/a base and stroller that goes with it. A swing, An excersize saucer (sp) a high-chair that attaches to a table...you are welcome to them.

Like I said you are probably not close....but if you are, PM me.

Best of luck with the baby :) Your DS is a keeper!


“And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom”
Anaïs Nin
Me: 45
Him: 47
Dday 8/2007
We have R'd

Posts: 3850 | Registered: Jun 2012 | From: Massachusetts
Jennifer99
♀ Member
Member # 39551
Default  Posted: 6:40 AM, March 17th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thank you Karma! The kindness of people I've never met or barely know never ceases to amaze me especially when someone I love is such a shit.

I'm not near MA (WestPA actually). But thank you.


Posts: 556 | Registered: Jun 2013
Jennifer99
♀ Member
Member # 39551
Default  Posted: 8:47 AM, March 17th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Harriet - that is an awesome feeling! But of course you are awesome! I am going to hang onto moments like that so when ds becomes a teen and hates me I can remember LOL.

Posts: 556 | Registered: Jun 2013
NikkiD
♀ Member
Member # 38173
Default  Posted: 8:48 AM, March 17th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Awesome!


"Spoil me with Loyalty; I can finance myself...."
ME: BS-33
HE: WS-32
Married 3 years, known 20
2 kids
D-Day #1 12/30/12
False Recovery
D-Day #2 1/21/14
LTA 5 years-ish
Riding the "Struggle Bus"
Living apart....

Posts: 668 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: Midwest
Topic Posts: 14

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