Yesterday I saw her and him, and it really hurts, still. I am confused about how she could trade him for having a family. She sees the kids, and provides monetary support. The two youngest will even stay over at her house once in a while. But I am the full time parent.
I guess she traded and got him. I got to be their father. I honestly believe I got the better deal, but it still hurts.
[This message edited by Churchill at 11:02 AM, March 16th (Sunday)]
I don't think much of anything about her any more. Except that she is a parasite with child support for kids that do not stay with her and permanent, large alimony.
My heart goes out to our kids. But I got the much better deal. Single parenting is the hardest thing I have ever done. And I would not trade one minute of it.
Her: WW/57 Me: BS/63 24yrs M
3 great kids, now 22, 20, 17 b,b,g
D-Day 8/14/08, D 1/13/11
But it doesn't heal all by itself. You have to use the time to make things better. Counseling, introspection, journaling, developing hobbies and interests, whatever works for you.
If what you're doing now isn't working, it's time to try something else.
But the price she will pay will be much higher. Time has a way of being merciless to those who do these things and do not make it right. You may not know it, but this will be remembered long after you are gone.
238 years ago someone took care of one of my ancestors. He was an infant, she was a slave, he was sick, she took care of him and carried him everywhere...she may have been forced to for all we know, probably was.
His parents are forgotten....not a single story passed on.
She is not...we were raised to remember her and what she did and why no person should be treated poorly because of their race. Thousands upon thousands of people have heard the story.j
Around 1870-1880 in another branch of the family, my great grandfather and his brother lost their mother to disease at a young age. The father remarried to a stepmother who was a witch who beat them mercilessly. They, two boys, ran when they finally could get away to their grandmother's home, their mother's mother. She was dirt poor. Lived in the woods and dug sang and worked as a midwife to live. She refused to give them back.
Father and stepmother...forgotten...we don't even know their names.
That great-great-great grandmother of mine who lived in a dirt floored cabin...I have her picture, and her great-great-great-great grandchildren pass on her story....to their children.
I have another ancestor, his picture is on a scanned file, he was a soldier in the Union army during the civil war. His name is on the photo. We have one story about him, only one...he cheated on his wife. That's it...he cheated on his wife.
You may not think of this very often, you may not realize it, but your actions do matter. Your lack of actions do as well. Same for her. Those kids will see things for what they are, eventually. My work is with the elderly, near death, and they DO NOT FORGET THESE THINGS.
How do you want to be remembered?
Nothing like living in the no responsibility fairytale land where it's all cheater sex, no kids, no real home life/reality, etc... They are weak, cowardly, selfish garbage, and believe me, I have been very deep in your shoes. Nothing you did or could have done 'made' her do anything; she chose to be a dirt bag, and in the process cut her own throat. There will come a time that you won't give a rats ass about her, she will just be a person you knew, and you will find a good, "real" women should you choose to do so. I never thought it could be true, but it is.
Good luck friend, and sorry for your suffering.
The cruel, the unkind, those without honor, feast on the tender heart...