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User Topic: How do I explain Triggers
LostSamurai
♂ Member
Member # 41347
Default  Posted: 7:26 PM, March 17th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My WW wants to know why I was quiet? I was triggering/having a mind movie just pop up on me.

I want to explain in detail, what is exactly going on. How do I go about that? I want her to know what I am feeing and going through, but I don't want to do it in a way to make her defensive...even though that may be what happens.


I am now nothing by a mere Ronin.

Posts: 1041 | Registered: Nov 2013 | From: Maryland
tushnurse
♀ Member
Member # 21101
Default  Posted: 7:29 PM, March 17th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Well she will be defensive because she knows she has caused it. She also needs to hear the brutal truth. If she is starting to get it, then she will be understanding and ask how she can help you.


Me: FBS
Him: FWS
Kids: 15 & 17
Married for 22 years now, was 16 at the time. .
D-Day Sept 26 2008
Fully R'd, and Happy Happy Happy

Posts: 8691 | Registered: Oct 2008 | From: St. Louis
LostSamurai
♂ Member
Member # 41347
Default  Posted: 7:30 PM, March 17th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I doubt if she wants to help...


I am now nothing by a mere Ronin.

Posts: 1041 | Registered: Nov 2013 | From: Maryland
LostSamurai
♂ Member
Member # 41347
Default  Posted: 8:33 PM, March 17th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I was basically right. I explained to her what the triggers due to me and all and she says she doesn't want to live like that. She doesn't want to live knowing that I am upset almost everyday she says. I am not upset everyday but sometimes things trigger and I have to deal with it.


I am now nothing by a mere Ronin.

Posts: 1041 | Registered: Nov 2013 | From: Maryland
sisoon
♂ Member
Member # 31240
Default  Posted: 8:36 PM, March 17th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Try this: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Trauma_trigger


fBH (me) - 70 (22 in my head), fWW (plainsong) - 65+, Married 45+, together since 1965
DDay - 12/2010
Recovered, not yet fully R'ed
I share my own experience because it's the only experience I know, not because I'm a good model.

Posts: 10343 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: Chicago area
LostSamurai
♂ Member
Member # 41347
Default  Posted: 6:07 AM, March 18th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I explained triggers to her and all and she said she thinks she understands. Of course, this is all over text because she is at work. Not sure if she truly gets it.


I am now nothing by a mere Ronin.

Posts: 1041 | Registered: Nov 2013 | From: Maryland
LostSamurai
♂ Member
Member # 41347
Default  Posted: 6:07 AM, March 18th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I explained triggers to her and all and she said she thinks she understands. Of course, this is all over text because she is at work. Not sure if she truly gets it.


I am now nothing by a mere Ronin.

Posts: 1041 | Registered: Nov 2013 | From: Maryland
Topic Posts: 7

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