A good friend of mine passed away a couple of weeks ago. He was mature in age and wise in nature.
He wrote a letter to his "family".....of which I was blessed to be a part because early in this letter he defined "family" as all of his friends, of which I was one.
"Marriage.......you have to believe . And believe it will work
Was the part I want to post about here.
I have spent a couple weeks on "owning" this wisdom for my own . Here is the summary of that process;
Believing is hard, but pretending doesn't work.
I didn't believe I was hurt by my childhood. I pretended I was okay, healthy even. I found ways to justify and prove that I was NOT pretending......but I was. And it hurt my marriage. My wife pretended in her life as well. FOO coping skills are often called "masking" skills.....a form of pretending.
I have stripped away that charade and have experienced growth because of it.
Believing is hard.....:but it is far more palatable to me NOW than to pretend.
And I have real hope within me.
While not healed, I am comforted for starting to grasp some of the truths my mature friend possessed and was kind enough to share with me and others.
God is with us all.