I think my husband and I might finally be in true R. I realized the whole time before this it was false R. He is trying and shows it regularly.
So last night he was on Facebook, and everytime I see him one there I can't help but worry he is messaging girls or they are messaging him. Usually when I ask to see his phone he gets very defensive and mad. But this time he said I can tell you don't trust me, and I just want you to know I am never going to betray you again. So he gave me his phone and let me see everything. He was very sincere in what he said. I know that this is just the first step, but it's nice to be actually moving.forward. I had my first IC last week. I was so confused and was sure we would no longer have a future but this give me hope.
I think I finally WANT to try to rebuild trust again. I am done being mad,and letting it consume me.
I've realized I still love this man. Yes, he hurt me but I am now willing to forgive, with caution of course.