I have this weird guilt feeling that he is going to be surprised and hurt even though he's not followed through with any actions to match his words of wanting to fix our marriage. He just asks me to go to dinner several times the last week, but I've told him no because I know he still sees OW.
I know it's the right thing to do, it's just hard because I want to believe what he says even though I've given him months to follow through and end the affair.
Is this normal? This would almost be easier if he just said he chose her instead of saying one thing and doing another.
The best thing about hitting rock bottom is that everything after that looks fucking fabulous
It's because we truly did believe our vows. It feels wrong to finish the relationship we said would be for life.
And not to sound legalistic but it's not our breach of contract. We're off the hook after infidelity in most religious/moralistic practices, and we were never on a permanent hook legally in the first place in most of the Western World for any reason.
In fact, what you're doing is what he should have done if he had had the guts to finish one relationship before starting another.
Trying to have the cake and eat it too (which is what they do when they say one thing but do another) is worse, and should actually remove the guilt. In my STBXWW case, she can go find OM and ask him for money now if she's running low I will pay my monthlies to her on time because that's my moral character, but not a penny more. If she wants something sentimental, she better change and make it verifiable first, then we can talk about how to rebuild trust.
@Pass: Love your rock bottom tagline.
I don't know what the answer is, though, to make the guilt go away:(.