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User Topic: Exposed OM # 2
LostSamurai
♂ Member
Member # 41347
Default  Posted: 7:16 PM, March 20th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I went to OM # 2 house and exposed his affair with my WW today. At 8:01 my wife called me to tell me she was upset that I went to his house.

She said, I thought you weren't going to do that. I thought you were going to be a different man/husband.


I am now nothing by a mere Ronin.

Posts: 1036 | Registered: Nov 2013 | From: Maryland
Aubrie
♀ Member
Member # 33886
Default  Posted: 7:30 PM, March 20th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

She said, I thought you weren't going to do that. I thought you were going to be a different man/husband.
Look in the mirror Sugah.

LS, she is nucking futs. Completely and utterly clueless. Run Brother. Don't walk. Run.


Me - FWW * Him - QuietStand

"Courage is being scared to death and saddling up anyway." - J. Wayne

"What if I fall?" Oh but my darling, what if you fly?


Posts: 6167 | Registered: Nov 2011 | From: South, Y'all!
LostSamurai
♂ Member
Member # 41347
Default  Posted: 7:33 PM, March 20th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

She said, I haven't talked to him and he hasn't talked to me until today. She said you haven't changed.


I am now nothing by a mere Ronin.

Posts: 1036 | Registered: Nov 2013 | From: Maryland
Aubrie
♀ Member
Member # 33886
Default  Posted: 7:36 PM, March 20th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

She said you haven't changed.
Ohhhh right. Cause you "forced" her to do what she did. Oh, AND she broke NC. Awesome.

Protect yourself.


Me - FWW * Him - QuietStand

"Courage is being scared to death and saddling up anyway." - J. Wayne

"What if I fall?" Oh but my darling, what if you fly?


Posts: 6167 | Registered: Nov 2011 | From: South, Y'all!
scared&stronger
♀ Member
Member # 15942
Default  Posted: 7:50 PM, March 20th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

She says you haven't changed. Ask her what change was she expecting? The one where you stood up for yourself or the one where you covered her mess?


WS 45
BS 43

Met when we were 17 and 15. Together since 1983, married since 1985. Two kids, B21, G15.

d-day 4-3-07

Life has a way of making us get our panties in a wad.....I refuse to wear panties ever again.


Posts: 3965 | Registered: Aug 2007
LostSamurai
♂ Member
Member # 41347
Default  Posted: 7:51 PM, March 20th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

She hasn't blocked his number and he was able to contact her. This OM # 2, not the LTAP.

I feel like crap due to her response but I felt heroic, because I stood up to him and I didn't do it out of anger.


I am now nothing by a mere Ronin.

Posts: 1036 | Registered: Nov 2013 | From: Maryland
Getting to Happy
♀ Member
Member # 35200
Default  Posted: 7:53 PM, March 20th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Oohhh...how I hate delusional WS!!!

She said, I thought you weren't going to do that. I thought you were going to be a different man/husband.

Can't they hear themselves talk? Or maybe since they can only think of themselves, in their mind, they can try to defend the un-defendable whether it is logical or not.

What did she think...that you were okay protecting her nasty trysts...?

Consequences are a bitch!

She said, I haven't talked to him and he hasn't talked to me until today. She said you haven't changed.

Yes, that's right LS. You are still the same loving, loyal, self-respecting guy that you have always been!

((((Lost Samuriai))))


WS him
BS me DD's 26, 25' DS 23
dd1 1-1-10, dd2 Mothers Day 2011, dd3 3-12-12 Hawaii trip with ho-worker...

Never forget what is worth remembering or remember what is best forgotten.
Unknown


Posts: 1138 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: La La Land
quedagh
♂ Member
Member # 24195
Default  Posted: 8:01 PM, March 20th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Lost,

Of course your WW was unenthusiastic about this perfectly correct and moral thing you did. You just burned a bridge she still thought she had. You just exposed darkness to light. You just did the right thing. Sometimes it takes a WW awhile to realize those exact things.

Way to go.

[This message edited by quedagh at 8:02 PM, March 20th (Thursday)]


Divorced and safer, mostly.


Posts: 803 | Registered: May 2009 | From: Recovery Land
LostSamurai
♂ Member
Member # 41347
Default  Posted: 8:07 PM, March 20th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

She says you haven't changed. Ask her what change was she expecting? The one where you stood up for yourself or the one where you covered her mess?

I told her I am working on becoming a husband/father like God would want. She said this shows that I haven't changed and she was thinking of coming back.

I think God would want me to expose the truth no matter how old it is to protect those from themselves in this type of situation. And they only stopped talking in December 3rd of last year. No Contact with him for 3 months... wow.

[This message edited by LostSamurai at 8:09 PM, March 20th (Thursday)]


I am now nothing by a mere Ronin.

Posts: 1036 | Registered: Nov 2013 | From: Maryland
heartbroken0903
♀ Member
Member # 27879
Default  Posted: 8:10 PM, March 20th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

She said this shows that I haven't changed and she was thinking of coming back.

Please, please do not listen to her manipulation.

Please do not fall for this crap.


Me: WS, 30s
XH: BS, 40s
No kids

Married 2.5 years
D-day 3/6/10
Divorced 5/14/10

Reconciled after divorce

"Someday you'll look back on all these days
And all this pain is gonna be invisible." - Hunter Hayes, "Invisible"


Posts: 2100 | Registered: Mar 2010 | From: the cat's meow
LostSamurai
♂ Member
Member # 41347
Default  Posted: 8:23 PM, March 20th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I am not. Because, it's like every time I do something she thinks she has the right to decide if we R or not when she was the one that committed the sin.


I am now nothing by a mere Ronin.

Posts: 1036 | Registered: Nov 2013 | From: Maryland
karmahappens
♀ Member
Member # 35846
Default  Posted: 8:27 PM, March 20th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Two choices

Face your truth , be good to you


Or

Accept her lies and manipulation

Choose YOU


“And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom”
Anaïs Nin
Me: 45
Him: 47
Dday 8/2007
We have R'd

Posts: 3793 | Registered: Jun 2012 | From: Massachusetts
Aubrie
♀ Member
Member # 33886
Default  Posted: 8:29 PM, March 20th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

LS, are you in IC by any chance?

If you aren't, you may want to seriously consider it. Every time your WW opens her mouth, webs of deceit fly out. An IC can help you thru the whole process. It's tough to deal with manipulative people.


Me - FWW * Him - QuietStand

"Courage is being scared to death and saddling up anyway." - J. Wayne

"What if I fall?" Oh but my darling, what if you fly?


Posts: 6167 | Registered: Nov 2011 | From: South, Y'all!
LostSamurai
♂ Member
Member # 41347
Default  Posted: 8:34 PM, March 20th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I am in IC, and it was my IC's suggestion that I stop being passive with my wife when she starts spewing her stuff and fight back with what I am feeling and thinking.

When she lashed out today the first thing that came to my mind.

John 3:20 "Everyone who does evil hates the light, and will not come into the light for fear that their deeds will be exposed."

I honestly feel like I did the right thing. If I cover this up, I am no better than her. Normally, you would want to cover this up to hide from the humiliation but truthfully it is best it comes out so that it will either open her eyes and convict her or make her choose divorce.


I am now nothing by a mere Ronin.

Posts: 1036 | Registered: Nov 2013 | From: Maryland
Areukiddingme
♀ New Member
Member # 41950
Default  Posted: 8:48 PM, March 20th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

LostSamurai I hope I can have the courage that you have one day. I am early in and feel like I'm on Mr Toads Wild Ride. Waywards really do operate from the same play book, and even though I know that, he still makes me feel like I'm crazy some days. Keep the faith!

Posts: 40 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: Southeast
Aubrie
♀ Member
Member # 33886
Default  Posted: 8:52 PM, March 20th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

When she lashed out today the first thing that came to my mind.

John 3:20 "Everyone who does evil hates the light, and will not come into the light for fear that their deeds will be exposed."

Awesome response.

You did what you felt was the right thing to do. Your wife doesn't have a conscience so it's absurd for her to be sharing wisdom.

Best of luck man. I know the crazy is frustrating.


Me - FWW * Him - QuietStand

"Courage is being scared to death and saddling up anyway." - J. Wayne

"What if I fall?" Oh but my darling, what if you fly?


Posts: 6167 | Registered: Nov 2011 | From: South, Y'all!
jb3199
♂ Member
Member # 27673
Default  Posted: 8:58 PM, March 20th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

And they only stopped talking in December 3rd of last year. No Contact with him for 3 months... wow.

With how fast your WW has responded, do you even believe the above to be true?


BH-46
WW-44
2 boys-17 & 20(special needs)
Married 21yrs.(together 27yrs.)

All work and no play has just cost me my wife--Gary Puckett
D-Day: 9/18/09 D-Day#2: 2/19/10 The Marriage Killer: 6/6/11
Heading for D


Posts: 2042 | Registered: Feb 2010 | From: northeast
quedagh
♂ Member
Member # 24195
Default  Posted: 9:06 PM, March 20th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

jb3199 could be on to something here.

With how fast your WW has responded, do you even believe the above to be true?

For a person suddenly dealing with his wife finding out about his affair, he sure got on the stick to your WW pretty darn speedily. How was that? Why was that?

Sounds like both were convinced your silence was assured. Again, excellent for breaking the ww manipulation!


Divorced and safer, mostly.


Posts: 803 | Registered: May 2009 | From: Recovery Land
5454real
♂ Member
Member # 37455
Default  Posted: 9:06 PM, March 20th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

LS, I am proud of you brother nothing more, nothing less. it seems like the longer you are separated from her, the stronger you become. her words mean absolutely nothing.

watch her actions.

do you really want to continue being treated like that?

okay, I lied. I'm doing the freaking batman dance for you right now. WTG!


BH 51, WW 42
DS 23(Mine),SD 21,SS 20(Hers),DS 9 Ours, DGS 3, DGD 1 mo
D=Day #1 5/04EA (Rugswept)
D-Day #2 3/10/12, TT til 3/13/12
Married 10yrs
“I have no love for a friend who loves in words alone.”
― Sophocles, Antigone

Posts: 2726 | Registered: Nov 2012 | From: midwest
LostSamurai
♂ Member
Member # 41347
Default  Posted: 9:10 PM, March 20th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

LostSamurai I hope I can have the courage that you have one day. I am early in and feel like I'm on Mr Toads Wild Ride. Waywards really do operate from the same play book, and even though I know that, he still makes me feel like I'm crazy some days. Keep the faith!

It took a lot, because I had to think to myself, if I do this, there is no turning back, and there will be consequences, and really the bad part about this...My WW received the text.

No Block...are you kidding me. You slept with this guy, twice, and after your long term affair ended you started talking to him. My bday was November 15. She was talking to him on then. Then she tells me December 3rd is the last time.

Then they happen to be at the restaurant in Feb. He attempted to contact her and she said she just erased his text...now a month later, after I stop by his house, she reads his text and tells me that they haven't been in contact since today and she didn't respond back. So there is a lot of BS going on out there and I ain't going to stand for it no more.

With how fast your WW has responded, do you even believe the above to be true?

This could be true...but she hasn't proved it to me. She said I could of asked her. That's not how this works. She should be telling me. Giving me the play by play of where, when, who, time. I shouldn't have to make requests otherwise, she will fill resentful. That is a freaking trap.


I am now nothing by a mere Ronin.

Posts: 1036 | Registered: Nov 2013 | From: Maryland
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