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User Topic: Exposed OM # 2
LostSamurai
♂ Member
Member # 41347
Default  Posted: 9:14 PM, March 20th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

LS, I am proud of you brother nothing more, nothing less. it seems like the longer you are separated from her, the stronger you become. her words mean absolutely nothing.
watch her actions.

do you really want to continue being treated like that?

okay, I lied. I'm doing the freaking batman dance for you right now. WTG!

The Batman Dance... the Prince version?

I'm sorry, but you are right. No sex, which by the way, I feel like I have ED, not really talking to me intimately, or showing remorse, or empathy. She is the one who caused this and I have to fight back.


I am now nothing by a mere Ronin.

Posts: 1029 | Registered: Nov 2013 | From: Maryland
LostSamurai
♂ Member
Member # 41347
Default  Posted: 9:18 PM, March 20th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

he sure got on the stick to your WW pretty darn speedily. How was that? Why was that?

That's a good darn question. She said he was a jerk. Why not block him? What purpose did he have to text her? I have no freaking clue.

I was civilized, and didn't come off as nasty, threatening. I did what she should be doing really.

Thanks for the support. It is great to know I have peoples support on here because my Best Friend is now my Greatest Enemy...

[This message edited by LostSamurai at 9:19 PM, March 20th (Thursday)]


I am now nothing by a mere Ronin.

Posts: 1029 | Registered: Nov 2013 | From: Maryland
StillGoing
♂ Member
Member # 28571
Default  Posted: 10:08 PM, March 20th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

The level of self restraint involved in not choking his ass out meeting face to face is incredible. Dunno if I could do that. Much respect to you sir.


“Fate is a fickle bitch who dotes on irony.”

Posts: 7374 | Registered: May 2010 | From: USA
5454real
♂ Member
Member # 37455
Default  Posted: 11:09 PM, March 20th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

That's not how this works. She should be telling me. Giving me the play by play of where, when, who, time. I shouldn't have to make requests otherwise, she will fill resentful. That is a freaking trap.

No sex, which by the way, I feel like I have ED, not really talking to me intimately, or showing remorse, or empathy. She is the one who caused this

Holy .............. You are so damn close to breaking through. Just one more thing...


I have to fight back.

No, you don't. You fix you!!! It's up to her to do the fighting for the M now.

You get that and

The Batman Dance... the Prince version?

I'll ask what street corner!

Keep it up brother. Full 180. Please, fix you. When she comes with the snot bubbling, mascara running, begging, pleading *I'm such a shit* routine, maybe then you'll consider giving her a chance. Hopefully, by then, doing the 180 will show you that you are worth so much more than she could ever offer.

Strength


BH 51, WW 42
DS 23(Mine),SD 21,SS 20(Hers),DS 9 Ours, DGS 3, DGD 1 mo
D=Day #1 5/04EA (Rugswept)
D-Day #2 3/10/12, TT til 3/13/12
Married 10yrs
“I have no love for a friend who loves in words alone.”
― Sophocles, Antigone

Posts: 2582 | Registered: Nov 2012 | From: midwest
LostSamurai
♂ Member
Member # 41347
Default  Posted: 6:35 AM, March 21st (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

5454,
Thanks bro, for the encouragement. I can't wait to see what she has to say to me today in response of everything.

StillGoing,
I have confronted my relative, and now this man. I feel like I am in a much better place, even though I wanted to drag my relative out of the work truck he was ridding in. Sometimes, I kick myself because, that would be the second time I confronted him. Thing of it is. I know where he lives as well.

God Bless the Internet and Malicious Sites for claiming they have all the information. Didn't pay for it, just knew their name. Looked them up for criminal records and different sites and phone numbers and bingo. GOT THEM. No Hacking, No Criminal Activity Necessary. Just good old Detective work...


I am now nothing by a mere Ronin.

Posts: 1029 | Registered: Nov 2013 | From: Maryland
Shayna71
♀ Member
Member # 42105
Default  Posted: 7:12 AM, March 21st (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Standing Ovation, LS.


Me: BW 46
Him: WH 42
3 month EA and PA w/a mutual friend
DDay 09/20/2013
Married over 20 years
DS 26, DS, 19 DD, 18
Currently in R

Posts: 121 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: Indiana
BtraydWife
♀ Member
Member # 42581
Default  Posted: 7:37 AM, March 21st (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm another one who is very proud of you. I'm so glad you are in IC and the therapist sounds so supportive of you. Keep up the good work.

John 3:20 "Everyone who does evil hates the light, and will not come into the light for fear that their deeds will be exposed."

This is awesome. I'm thankful you see her reaction as one of a unremorseful wayward. Her attempts at manipulation and the responses she thinks are appropriate show she is still deep in the fog.

My WH is still very angry with me for making him face his issues. I've told him that I expected he would be angry. I believe he has interpreted this as me feeling he is justified to be angry, but that's not true. I think his anger shows he still has his head partially up his ass but given his level of emotional maturity, it's a response I expected.

People doing the right thing and people avoiding doing the right thing will always see the situation differently. Keep your head clear and focused and don't stop doing the right thing. Seriously contemplate the motivations behind the advice of people who try to stop you.


Me-BW
Him-WH
DD-March 2010
TT for 6 months

Delay is the deadliest form of denial. - C. Northcote Parkinson


Posts: 808 | Registered: Feb 2014 | From: United States
LostSamurai
♂ Member
Member # 41347
Default  Posted: 7:59 AM, March 21st (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thank you. I really do appreciate the support. It is sad, that I have to confront my WW when I should be working with her to solve our marital problems. I always pictured her as the manipulative type based off how our conversations have went but at the same time I still love her.

I just can't let myself get steamed rolled like this again. I told her I was changing to be the man that God want's and that the family needs. That also means standing up and confronting her as well.


I am now nothing by a mere Ronin.

Posts: 1029 | Registered: Nov 2013 | From: Maryland
7yrsflushed
♂ Member
Member # 32258
Default  Posted: 8:23 AM, March 21st (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Great job LS!

I can't wait to see what she has to say to me today in response of everything.
^^^In the words of Duane "The Rock" Johnson...It doesn't matter what her response is! Seriously go NC as best you can. Don't engage her, don't talk to her. The more you talk to her the more opportunities she has to spew lies and try to turn this around on you. Focus on you and ignore her. Get your life together and leave all the heavy lifting up to her. She either will do the work or she won't but either way you keep moving forward and she either catches up or gets left behind. It was her choices and decisions that caused all of this and until she realizes and owns that any interaction you have with her is basically peeing in the wind.

[This message edited by 7yrsflushed at 8:24 AM, March 21st (Friday)]


D-day 5/24/11
BH = Me
2 children
The first true sense of calm I felt in YEARS was when I filed for D...
D hopefully official in 7/2014

Posts: 1840 | Registered: May 2011 | From: VA
LostSamurai
♂ Member
Member # 41347
Default  Posted: 8:29 AM, March 21st (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

That is awesome. I should use that on her.

It doesn't matter what your response is!

Peeing in the wind
..lol

Thanks for the support and encouragement.


I am now nothing by a mere Ronin.

Posts: 1029 | Registered: Nov 2013 | From: Maryland
Joanh
♀ Member
Member # 39146
Default  Posted: 8:47 AM, March 21st (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yes you did the right thing. Your WW is not owning her crap. No way in the world should she be giving you hell about contacting the OM nor should she be expecting the changes to be your doing not hers.

Continue to be strong. Maybe she will snap out of it, but likely be too late. Take care of yourself.


BH 39
WW 43
D day November 9, 2012
3 children 22, 8, 6
Just....

Posts: 388 | Registered: Apr 2013
outside4me
♂ Member
Member # 42430
Default  Posted: 9:29 AM, March 21st (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Watch the cockroaches scurry when you turn the light on.

Why should she be concerned about OM2 getting exposed, anyway? The only thing she should be worrying about is saving the marriage. Sounds to me like she's still connected to him, or at least keeping the door open for further shenanigans.

Manipulative statements abound with this one. Don't fall for the ol' Jedi mind trick, young Padawan.


Posts: 218 | Registered: Feb 2014 | From: Colorado
LostSamurai
♂ Member
Member # 41347
Default  Posted: 9:38 AM, March 21st (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It has begun...First Text:
I am frustrated with you.


I am now nothing by a mere Ronin.

Posts: 1029 | Registered: Nov 2013 | From: Maryland
scared&stronger
♀ Member
Member # 15942
Default  Posted: 10:43 AM, March 21st (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I told her I am working on becoming a husband/father like God would want. She said this shows that I haven't changed and she was thinking of coming back.

I think God would want me to expose the truth no matter how old it is to protect those from themselves in this type of situation. And they only stopped talking in December 3rd of last year. No Contact with him for 3 months... wow


You did what you had to do for your relationship with God. There is no reason to justify that to her. Truth and not hurting others are in line with your belief system. You being complicit in her lies does not sit well with you. No reason for you to feel guilty about it.

She is foggy and will say anything. She wasn't thinking about coming back. She was thinking of another way to manipulate you and you took that particular option off the table. That pissed her off. You changed HER game plan. IFshe wants to be home she would do whatever it took to be home.


WS 45
BS 43

Met when we were 17 and 15. Together since 1983, married since 1985. Two kids, B21, G15.

d-day 4-3-07

Life has a way of making us get our panties in a wad.....I refuse to wear panties ever again.


Posts: 3956 | Registered: Aug 2007
confused615
♀ Member
Member # 30826
Default  Posted: 10:52 AM, March 21st (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Your response to her text?

"OK"


Good job, LS!


BS(me)41
FWH 45
4 kids..21,20,11,9
M: June 2001
D-Day: 8/10/10
Status: Happily Reconciled.

..that feeling you get in your stomach, when you heart's broken. It's like all the butterflies just died.


Posts: 7161 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: Indiana
LostSamurai
♂ Member
Member # 41347
Default  Posted: 11:04 AM, March 21st (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I actually, said. I understand. Done. Didn't even add anything to it.


I am now nothing by a mere Ronin.

Posts: 1029 | Registered: Nov 2013 | From: Maryland
LostSamurai
♂ Member
Member # 41347
Default  Posted: 11:04 AM, March 21st (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Double posted for some reason.

[This message edited by LostSamurai at 11:04 AM, March 21st (Friday)]


I am now nothing by a mere Ronin.

Posts: 1029 | Registered: Nov 2013 | From: Maryland
scared&stronger
♀ Member
Member # 15942
Default  Posted: 11:34 AM, March 21st (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I actually, said. I understand. Done. Didn't even add anything to it.


Great job.


WS 45
BS 43

Met when we were 17 and 15. Together since 1983, married since 1985. Two kids, B21, G15.

d-day 4-3-07

Life has a way of making us get our panties in a wad.....I refuse to wear panties ever again.


Posts: 3956 | Registered: Aug 2007
LostSamurai
♂ Member
Member # 41347
Default  Posted: 11:36 AM, March 21st (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thank you. I learned from my anger management class appropriate anger and how to be assertive. I am taking it right where it deserves.


I am now nothing by a mere Ronin.

Posts: 1029 | Registered: Nov 2013 | From: Maryland
BtraydWife
♀ Member
Member # 42581
Default  Posted: 12:06 PM, March 21st (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hey can I t/j for a second?

You learn how to be assertive in anger management classes? Did you have trouble expressing anger previously?

I thought those classes were only for out of control anger-like rage.


Me-BW
Him-WH
DD-March 2010
TT for 6 months

Delay is the deadliest form of denial. - C. Northcote Parkinson


Posts: 808 | Registered: Feb 2014 | From: United States
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