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Divorce/Separation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Email from Xmil....makes me sad
mof2
♀ Member
Member # 40287
Default  Posted: 8:31 PM, March 20th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Every once in a while I get an email from his mom and it is hard because we were close and I love her to death. Received an email from her today because my dad posted an article in the newspaper and she wanted to make sure I saw it. I deleted her an other's family members and friends of his on FB about a month ago because I needed to for my own healing process. Sharing a little bit of her email and mine back. I should really get y'alls opinion before replying.

Her email:

Hope things are going well with you three and the furry three that live with you. Hard to believe it's been more than a year now since he (replaced his name) moved out.... I still feel the pain and you may, too.

I know we have drifted apart, and that is a natural thing to happen in a case like this, but you are still in my heart.

My response:

Yes, it was a long year but I am doing so much better and realize that it was a blessing in disguise. The pain is actually subsided completely but I have had an amazing support system. I still deal with bouts of anger for what he did and how he did it, but that is getting less and less.


I am sorry that I had to delete you and so many others from FB but my support group suggested that I do it for my own healing process. I think about him less and less, but seeing posts, etc just made him pop back into my head. I love you so much and that will not change!!! Please know that!!! That has been a hard part of the whole process.


BW - Me 43
WH - Cheating Swine 43
Dday - February 12, 2013....a week before I was to give birth to the child I miscarried and 12 days before our 5th anniversary.

Posts: 316 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: DFW
homewrecked2011
♀ Member
Member # 34678
Default  Posted: 8:44 PM, March 20th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I really think its a good response.

I feel like the OW loves breaking up families and it made me very very sad that I never received a message like this from my WH family.


me BS 52
him - 46
married 15 years DIVORCED 10 31 12
children - ds15 ds12
d-day 12-19-11
I gave a 24hour ultimatum then went to attorney next day
Divorce filed

Posts: 2206 | Registered: Jan 2012
Chrysalis123
♀ Member
Member # 27148
Default  Posted: 8:55 PM, March 20th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You responded perfectly.


Donít get to the end of your life and find that you lived only the length of it; live the width of it as well.†

Posts: 2707 | Registered: Jan 2010
ButterflyGirl
♀ Member
Member # 38377
Default  Posted: 9:12 PM, March 20th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My STBX is now estranged from his mother, and the evil douchebag refuses to let her see the kids, so she goes through me to see them. But, I blocked her and his whole family on Facebook and keep our conversations strictly related to the kids. They didn't do anything wrong, but it's just the situation now.. It hurts like hell to lose people I called my family for over 10 years, but it's nice that we can slowly build a relationship that has nothing to do with him..

Personally, I would try to steer conversations with your Xmil to anything BUT your ex..


xBW~ 35
Two DS~ 7-Eleven
"I've wiped the shit off. It can be wiped off you know." ~ asurvivor

Posts: 2316 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: Florida, USA
persevere
♀ Member
Member # 31468
Default  Posted: 10:11 PM, March 20th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

As someone who has a decent relationship w my XMIL, under the circumstances, I agree that your response was great.


Me: BW-44
Him: XWH-44
Together 9 yrs
DDays: 1/10/2011
Status: Divorced 4/27/11

Above all, be the heroine, not the victim. - Nora Ephron

It is our choices...that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.
- J. K. Rowling


Posts: 4607 | Registered: Mar 2011 | From: Texas
KittenLittle
♀ New Member
Member # 41599
Default  Posted: 10:38 PM, March 20th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Great response. She sounds like a really nice lady.

I know how you feel. Losing my relationship with my awesome MIL is going to be one of the hardest parts of this ordeal.


Me: BS 40's
Him: WS 40's

Posts: 30 | Registered: Dec 2013
mof2
♀ Member
Member # 40287
Default  Posted: 7:22 AM, March 21st (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thank you all so much! I of course was worried...go figure


BW - Me 43
WH - Cheating Swine 43
Dday - February 12, 2013....a week before I was to give birth to the child I miscarried and 12 days before our 5th anniversary.

Posts: 316 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: DFW
sparkysable
♀ Member
Member # 3703
Default  Posted: 9:03 AM, March 21st (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I think the whole thing is awesome from both sides.

You are very lucky. My IL's claimed to be upset about what he did, but then they shut me out, and invited the OW to holiday dinner.

It was like I never existed, and it tore my soul apart. It still hurts. It's one of the things I still struggle with.


D-day OW#1 2/2004; R for 6 years; D-day OW#2 5/2010

Marriages that start this way, stepping over the bodies of loved ones as the giddy couple walks down the aisle, are not likely to last.


Posts: 3400 | Registered: Mar 2004 | From: NY
mof2
♀ Member
Member # 40287
Default  Posted: 9:21 AM, March 21st (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My IL's claimed to be upset about what he did, but then they shut me out, and invited the OW to holiday dinner.

Sparky, his family has embraced her and she was also with them during the holidays. His mom is actually the only one who knows about the affair in his family. I never told the rest of his family (who he is really close to)and I'm sure she didn't either out of embarrassment. I'm not even sure that they know what happened. It wouldn't matter anyway because they enable him. Well, don't know if it enabling or if they love him and just have to move on. He is very close to his aunt, uncle, cousins, etc and his mom and I both hid a lot of his issues from them (suicide attempt, addiction problems, etc). I enabled him as well apparently, but no longer my problem.


BW - Me 43
WH - Cheating Swine 43
Dday - February 12, 2013....a week before I was to give birth to the child I miscarried and 12 days before our 5th anniversary.

Posts: 316 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: DFW
Topic Posts: 9

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