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Divorce/Separation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: New Life--Old Wound
WeepingBuddhist
♀ Member
Member # 39139
Default  Posted: 12:34 PM, March 21st (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm doing OK in the place, new job, new state. It's all just about as overwhelming as it sounds but it's been mostly OK until today. I've got a cold and my tank is empty so to speak. D was mostly amicable and we have a lot of contact as we sort out the house. I clicked on wasband's google circle thing and there SHE was. Skankenstein. the first one. The crazy bitch he broke it off with last year before I even knew she existed. Maybe she's been there all along. Maybe they have reconnected. Maybe he's seeing her AND having a long-distance relationship with his college GF. When I left my previous job, I deliberately didn't copy the file I had of all the pics and crazy shit I found out about her. I wanted a new life and now this skank is back in my head. I know, I know...just don't click on it. I tried that excellent advice. I feel sucker punched. I had banished that skank from my head and now, poof, she's back and I'm pissed and sad and all the shit I should be at wasband but have put aside to get here, to point B, without a lot of drama.

Thanks for listening.


Me: BS 46
Him: unimportant
D Day:4-27-13
DIVORCED!!! 2-20-14

Posts: 559 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Columbus
nowiknow23
♀ Guide
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 12:48 PM, March 21st (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((((WB))))) I'm so sorry she popped in again. Block block block. Banish her from your new beginning and don't let her get even a toehold in your brain.


You can call me NIK

"Sometimes it takes a good fall to know where you really stand."
-Hayley Williams


Posts: 24961 | Registered: Aug 2011
dmari
♀ Member
Member # 37215
Default  Posted: 12:52 PM, March 21st (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((((WB)))))


Me (BS): 42 Children: DD 18, DS 15
Settled at mediation
Officially divorced ... SOON!

Posts: 2144 | Registered: Oct 2012
norabird
♀ Member
Member # 42092
Default  Posted: 2:17 PM, March 21st (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm sorry.

This too shall pass.

It is corny but it is true.

Unfortunately it isn't a speedway type of passing and sometimes you go round and round a little before the exit.

(((WB)))


Sit. Feast on your life.

Posts: 4082 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: NYC
WeepingBuddhist
♀ Member
Member # 39139
Default  Posted: 3:04 PM, March 21st (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You guys are the best. I'll get through this. I just freaking hate that I had to think about her for even a minute.

I'm heading home soon to my fur baby and some Nyquil.


Me: BS 46
Him: unimportant
D Day:4-27-13
DIVORCED!!! 2-20-14

Posts: 559 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Columbus
Oftencheatedon
♀ Member
Member # 41268
Default  Posted: 4:09 PM, March 21st (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Have you finished sorting out the house?

You didn't mention children so I am assuming that's not an issue.

What has worked best for me is ending ALL contact with the ex cheater. No phone calls, no texts, no FB friends, etc. Just one big ERASE.

My job caused me to move across country many times. It's not easy to move to a new place alone, but I've done it successfully enough times that it doesn't bother me anymore.


Posts: 105 | Registered: Nov 2013 | From: AL
hexed
♀ Member
Member # 19258
Default  Posted: 8:14 PM, March 21st (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((WB)) this is such a hard time. truly you're still early in the healing process.

my X dragged me through a year of going back and forth between me and OW. it was awful to constantly have her in and out of my world.

He's still with OW 6yrs later. Now most of the time I don't even notice when OW's world's overlap from time to time with mine via mutual friends. On my good phases, I could even be in the same room with her if I had too. During worse times, I just don't want to see her but I don't really care anymore. She stepped in and replaced me in social circles. This used to upset me a lot. Now I don't care at all.

As you heal, this will annoy you less and less but right now it totally makes sense. Don't let her take too much of your energy. You need your energy to recharge right now! Get well! :)


But that's just a lot of water
Underneath a bridge I burned
And there's no use in backtracking
Around corners I have turned

“Many of us crucify ourselves between two thieves - regret for the past and fear of the future.” -foulton oursler


Posts: 8438 | Registered: Apr 2008
WeepingBuddhist
♀ Member
Member # 39139
Default  Posted: 8:06 AM, March 24th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It will be another month or so before the house situation is fully resolved (mostly because he is fairly useless when it comes to meeting his obligations without Mommy around to help get shit done). And it's been OK until the other day.

I've had a weekend of rest, naps, and nyquil and have banished that sorry ass skank---mostly :)from my head.

Thanks again SI!!!


Me: BS 46
Him: unimportant
D Day:4-27-13
DIVORCED!!! 2-20-14

Posts: 559 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Columbus
Topic Posts: 8

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