Cheating Hurt by Infidelity
Betrayal Wayward Donations lying
Welcome

Forums

Guidelines

Find a Local Counselor

The Healing Library

Media

Contact Us
lies
cover
In Association with Amazon.com
Support
Infidelity -
-
like us on facebook
You are not logged in. Login here or register.
[Register]
Newest Member: Tryin2staykewl (45320)

General Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: t/j on T-M-I posts
Skan
♀ Member
Member # 35812
Default  Posted: 4:42 PM, March 21st (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

All right. In honor of all of those out there like me, who aren't speaking up, I will do the belly flop into the pool.

If I see TMI in the title, I'm there. Jump in with both feet. May not post, may not stay for long, but I head right on in with popcorn in hand.

Not, of course, that *I* would ever post TMI! (whistling, looking around, how 'bout them Chargers?)


Imagine a ship trying to set sail while towing an anchor. Cutting free is not a gift to the anchor. You must release that burden, not because the anchor is worthy, but because the ship is.

D-Day, June 10, 2012



Posts: 4915 | Registered: Jun 2012 | From: So California
HurtsButImOK
♀ Member
Member # 38865
Default  Posted: 4:46 PM, March 21st (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm with Skan

I also think the site should consider changing its name to Surviving Infidelity and Life. I am so much more worldly now


Me: Awesome - 35.... ummm, not anymore

"I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel". –Maya Angelou


Posts: 748 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Australia
sisoon
♂ Member
Member # 31240
Default  Posted: 5:49 PM, March 21st (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Well, I stay out of the girls/women TMI threads, and I back out of some of the sex ones quickly, but some of the TMI threads have been enlightening, and some have made me lighten up tremendously on a heavy day. (How can I forget a group of women updating their count of kegels for a few hours?)

Most of the TMI threads I've read have increased my respect and liking for the posters. I can't help thinking the posters show courage, honesty, and humor, and that's a very powerful and likable combination.


fBH (me) - 70 (22 in my head), fWW (plainsong) - 65+, Married 45+, together since 1965
DDay - 12/2010
Recovered, not yet fully R'ed
I share my own experience because it's the only experience I know, not because I'm a good model.

Posts: 10340 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: Chicago area
caregiver9000
♀ Member
Member # 28622
Default  Posted: 5:56 PM, March 21st (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Am I the only one doing this at the TMI stuff being recounted in the thread about how the TMI stuff is awkward and embarrassing?


Me: 44, independent, happy, despite co-parenting with a lower muppet
FT "Stretch" (and Skew!) ;)
DS 13 DS 10
S 5/2010
D 12/2012

Posts: 5859 | Registered: May 2010 | From: a better place
Ostrich80
Member
Member # 34827
Default  Posted: 6:41 PM, March 21st (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

If I see TMI in the title, I'm there. Jump in with both feet. May not post, may not stay for long, but I head rht on in with popcorn in hand.

Raising hand

I look also to see if someone's posting something.I can relate too but am too chicken to post we may anonymous, but I still feel like I can be seen when I post


BS..me
WS..him
Been with him over half my life
4kid
DD1 10-01-09 DD2 02-12-12 discovered it never ended
OW..nothing special. Just your average skank
Status..#$%@????

Posts: 5127 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: midwest
gonnabe2016
♀ Member
Member # 34823
Default  Posted: 6:49 PM, March 21st (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Am I the only one doing this <insert a lot of emoticons> at the TMI stuff being recounted in the thread about how the TMI stuff is awkward and embarrassing?

Yea, I notice that karma hasn't been back in a while.

Us SI'ers....we're like trying to herd wet cats into a bag, huh? So naughty.


"Oh, what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive." - Sir Walter Scott

In my effort to be *concise*, I often come off as blunt and harsh. Sorry, don't mean to be offensive.


Posts: 8073 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: Midwest
GotPlayed
♂ Member
Member # 41294
Default  Posted: 7:03 PM, March 21st (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Well, this is a site about infidelity, which involves deep feelings and sex. The aftermath is pretty lonely, particularly if S or D. And since everyone before was a couple before, and being a couple means you did couple things, it makes sense that the more rawer bits of those topics should be discussed. It's not like any of us are virgins or anything. It's a pretty self-selecting group here.

At least here it's done in a matter-of-fact but respectful manner, which is a big deal, I think. Part of healing from infidelity, or getting into New Beginnings is going to be sexual healing (no, not the Marvin Gaye song)

I'm guilty of starting or t/j-ing some TMI threads myself, because I discuss things here I'd never discuss in person with a stranger or in any other site, even anonymously.

Which when you think about it it's self-limiting since then you don't have access to such a wealth of knowledge (maybe that's why some of you lurk but read on anyway?). I think these topics are just part of the package of our situation. Having said that, I'm glad they're labeled TMI - awkward to read on mobile at the supermarket or something, nice to know I can skip those for later.

I haven't gone to a SI G2G yet ever, after posting all this. Hadn't thought about it until now. Oh well, I'll cross that bridge when I get there. I'll probably practice my "So, how bout those Mets?" like Skan says.

If it ever happens, ladies, be gentle. I'm actually rather shy.


Master of my Fate, Captain of my Soul.
BS 42, WW 41. 18y married
DD: 11/5/13
DS10 Autism, DD8
OM: Reformed wife-beater ex-con
D filed 1/14/14 by WW (never warn them, they'll get ahead)
Married a powder keg

Posts: 755 | Registered: Nov 2013 | From: California
nowiknow23
♀ Guide
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 7:11 PM, March 21st (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I haven't gone to a SI G2G yet ever, after posting all this.
I just have to comment on this. The very first g2g that I went to, I was frantically racing through all my past posts in my head, trying to remember all the potentially embarrassing things I might have posted about.

And you know what? None of it mattered. The SIers I met were so wonderful, accepting, warm, and friendly. What I had posted, what THEY had posted? None of it mattered. Truly.


You can call me NIK

"If you carry joy in your heart, you can heal any moment."
- Carlos Santana


Posts: 25693 | Registered: Aug 2011
karmahappens
♀ Member
Member # 35846
Default  Posted: 7:11 PM, March 21st (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Karma gets caught hiding in the corner by Gonna

Actually very interesting pov's


“And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom”
Anaïs Nin
Me: 45
Him: 47
Dday 8/2007
We have R'd

Posts: 3845 | Registered: Jun 2012 | From: Massachusetts
LA44
♀ Member
Member # 38384
Default  Posted: 7:52 PM, March 21st (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I actually don't go to TMI posts - maybe once? I looked at this one bc karma started it and bc it said t/j so I figured there wouldn't be TMI. There would be less....


Me: 44
He: 47 WH
Married: 15 years
D Day: December 2012
Affair: Fall 2009 - Dec. 2011
R is not linear

Posts: 2435 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: Canada, eh
gonnabe2016
♀ Member
Member # 34823
Default  Posted: 10:14 PM, March 21st (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Karma gets caught hiding in the corner by Gonna

I'm just here to help, karma.


I was frantically racing through all my past posts in my head,trying to remember all the potentially embarrassing things I might have posted about.


I just *assume* that all anyone will remember is that my stbx is a douche, and that anything I've shared that is <too personal> in regards to me is forgotten in the avalanche of new posts/stories


And you know what? None of it mattered. The SIers I met were so wonderful, accepting, warm, and friendly.

And most of them posted with the same exact amount of embarrassing stuff as you did, right? (although I don't ever remember reading anything that would even be remotely embarrassing from you NIK).
My mantra has always been to "don't put it *out there* if you're not ready to acknowledge and defend/explain (if necessary)"....even if your only defense is "I know, right?"


"Oh, what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive." - Sir Walter Scott

In my effort to be *concise*, I often come off as blunt and harsh. Sorry, don't mean to be offensive.


Posts: 8073 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: Midwest
StillGoing
♂ Member
Member # 28571
Default  Posted: 10:30 PM, March 21st (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I always read them and feel like a perv. Especially when I want to reply with advice because we've been shopping at someplace like Goodvibes and for goodness sake, get a goddamn wevibe or check out askmen for advice on cockrings or something. THE INTERNET IS AMAZING FOR ANONYMITY.

Sometimes I can't help but respond, then never go back out of shame.

eta:

As for the G2G, it was pretty cool. I mean, I am about as monumentally stupid as you can get on the Internet and still be coherent and nobody called the cops or tried to shoot me. All in all SI people at a G2G are about as accepting as they come.

Also, Moo works for NASA and is 8 feet tall.

[This message edited by StillGoing at 10:33 PM, March 21st (Friday)]


"You have insulted my footwear."

Posts: 7469 | Registered: May 2010 | From: USA
gonnabe2016
♀ Member
Member # 34823
Default  Posted: 10:52 PM, March 21st (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Also, Moo works for NASA and is 8 feet tall.

No he doesn't and no he isn't.....regardless of what the urban legends want you to believe.....


"Oh, what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive." - Sir Walter Scott

In my effort to be *concise*, I often come off as blunt and harsh. Sorry, don't mean to be offensive.


Posts: 8073 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: Midwest
sisoon
♂ Member
Member # 31240
Default  Posted: 10:58 PM, March 21st (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I just have to comment on this. The very first g2g that I went to, I was frantically racing through all my past posts in my head, trying to remember all the potentially embarrassing things I might have posted about.
And you know what? None of it mattered. The SIers I met were so wonderful, accepting, warm, and friendly. What I had posted, what THEY had posted? None of it mattered. Truly.

Oh, yeah, I remember that well. To top it off, W & I were the only people in R at our first g2g.

It was OK, though. I posted about my discomfort ahead of time. Clarissa told me I could go as her, and someone else - I've forgotten who - told me no one would remember what I posted anyway....

Seriously, the water's fine.


fBH (me) - 70 (22 in my head), fWW (plainsong) - 65+, Married 45+, together since 1965
DDay - 12/2010
Recovered, not yet fully R'ed
I share my own experience because it's the only experience I know, not because I'm a good model.

Posts: 10340 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: Chicago area
5454real
♂ Member
Member # 37455
Default  Posted: 11:04 PM, March 21st (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Sigh, alright, I look sometimes. Haven't posted yet. I have to admit sometimes it feels like when I got caught by Mom looking at Playboy. I just couldn't convince her I was just reading the articles!

For real now. A lot of the TMI posts contain some pretty good ideas. Granted, the subject matter sometimes will make me , but for the most part, it's handled in a respectful manner.

FTR, we just go into the stores. There's something to be said for the tactile feel before you buy!

(and yet again, )


BH 51, WW 42
DS 23(Mine),SD 21,SS 20(Hers),DS 9 Ours, DGS 3, DGD 1 mo
D=Day #1 5/04EA (Rugswept)
D-Day #2 3/10/12, TT til 3/13/12
Married 10yrs
“I have no love for a friend who loves in words alone.”
― Sophocles, Antigone

Posts: 2974 | Registered: Nov 2012 | From: midwest
FaithFool
♀ Member
Member # 20150
Default  Posted: 11:04 PM, March 21st (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

If you do go in and click on links, be sure to clear your cache and cookies afterwards....


DDay: June 15, 2008
Mistakenly married Mr. Superfreak
20 years of OWs, WTF?
Divorced Dec 26, 2011
"Life is a shipwreck, but we must not forget
to sing in the lifeboats". -- Voltaire

Posts: 17488 | Registered: Jul 2008 | From: Canada
nolight
♀ Member
Member # 32785
Default  Posted: 11:44 PM, March 21st (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

No they don't bother me because I don't read them. If they didn't have the TMI caveat I would be upset but it's my own fault if I choose to read them and am offended.

Posts: 516 | Registered: Jul 2011 | From: Hawaii
purplejacket4
♀ Member
Member # 34262
Default  Posted: 12:54 AM, March 22nd (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Not in the slightest. BUT I am a college health doctor for over 15 years who has heard EVERYTHING.

There's the one with the girl who has found a really senitive "bump" down there...

And the naive virgin couple the week before their wedding who wanted me to explain "how to do it"... (I sent them to Barnes and Noble )

And the girl who literally said to me "when all my friends go down on me they say I taste bad"...

So you people just keep on bringing your TMI threads! I am impervious!


Me: BS 45
Her: fWS 48 (same sex partner)
Together: 18 years now (both MDs)
OW: meh so what 40s PhD
DD1: 10/30/11EA; DD2: 11/10/11 Had ONS; TT until 12/26/11; broke NC 6/12; NC again 7/12; R-ish

Posts: 2239 | Registered: Dec 2011 | From: Great Southwest
LydiaE
♀ Member
Member # 42571
Default  Posted: 2:43 AM, March 22nd (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I agree with the OP.

I am no prude and am a member other forums with material more explicit than seen here.

I do think it is in bad taste to post about your orgasms and vibrator use on a forum where people are hurting, triggering, and need advice and support. It seems like
attention-seeking behavior and is, obviously, overtly sexual.

Questions regarding sexual difficulties can be discussed tactfully and without using derogatory wording.

Also equally distasteful is creating nicknames with variations of "tard" in them.


Posts: 91 | Registered: Feb 2014 | From: SouthernUSA
karmahappens
♀ Member
Member # 35846
Default  Posted: 5:29 AM, March 22nd (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Karma gets caught hiding in the corner by Gonna

I'm just here to help, karma.

Thanks Gonna, I really need to release the inner TMI girl....

Skan this killed me

If I see TMI in the title, I'm there. Jump in with both feet. May not post, may not stay for long, but I head right on in with popcorn in hand.


NIK

The very first g2g that I went to, I was frantically racing through all my past posts in my head, trying to remember all the potentially embarrassing things I might have posted about.

You, embarrassing? Never...
These responses really have me laughing though...

On a serious note, some TMI questions are needed and helpful, I just have to leave some of those things to the sexperts...I will never claim to be one of those

Dr. PJ, I shudder at some of the stories you must have locked away and bet they make some great conversations around the dinner table....um... sometimes.

I am not offended by the posts, I think I am just TMI akward. Maybe we should hold a class.


“And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom”
Anaïs Nin
Me: 45
Him: 47
Dday 8/2007
We have R'd

Posts: 3845 | Registered: Jun 2012 | From: Massachusetts
Topic Posts: 50
Pages: 1 · 2 · 3

Return to Forum: General Post Reply to this Topic
adultry
Go to :
madness  
© 2002 - 2014 SurvivingInfidelity.com. All Rights Reserved.