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Divorce/Separation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Finally filed for divorce
Roxyme765
♀ New Member
Member # 41764
Default  Posted: 5:34 PM, March 21st (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

So I have finally filed for divorce. I feel like I really gave it all I could. After a year of going through this hell I need out.

My main problem now seems to be a common theme with so many others here. Just feeling jaded. Though I know it's not always true my feeling on love stands as this: what is the point? Loving someone and giving yourself to them completely is giving them the power to completely destroy you. I feel that I have such a wall erected around my heart currently and he will always be the one who has the only ammo that can still penetrate my wall and never miss my heart.
I feel like it is going to take me years to get over all that he has done to me. And in addition the poor decisions he continues to make.
I know that I am ruined for any man that might love me in the foreseeable future because I am so jaded. I feel like I just still want to wallow in my self pity.

All I have.... Is nothing.
All I've treasured... Is dust.
You came at me with no warning.
You've broken all of my trust.

Where do I go now?
What path is the right to follow?
You handed me a fist full of glass.
Why look confused when I can't swallow?

I built my world around you.
Hindsight points to bricks.
Oh if only I had known big bad wolf,
I wouldn't have chosen sticks....

[This message edited by Roxyme765 at 5:36 PM, March 21st (Friday)]


Me: BS, 30
Him: WS, 30
D-Day: April 2013 (about 5 years of cheating with multiple OW)
Going through divorce.

Posts: 26 | Registered: Dec 2013
HurtsButImOK
♀ Member
Member # 38865
Default  Posted: 6:58 PM, March 21st (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I am sorry that you find yourself here. Its certainly not somewhere that any of us thought we would be.

Its normal to feel jaded, sad, frustrated, bitter etc during the process of dealing with the betrayal and fallout.

I may be an optimist but I believe that if I do the work to deal with the trauma of infidelity and divorce I will come out of it better and stronger. I will be more able to not only love deeper and more fulfillingly, but also to pull the plug early when a relationship is not healthy for me.

((Roxyme765)) and welcome to an awesome place of support.


Me: Awesome - 35

"I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel". –Maya Angelou

"When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be". –


Posts: 722 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Australia
cantaccept
♀ Member
Member # 37451
Default  Posted: 7:00 PM, March 21st (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Roxyme765,

Your words pierced my heart. Did you write that? It expressed my feelings so eloquently. Painfully beautiful.

I feel jaded also.

Every person I meet now, I wonder, "who are you really?"

I used to be so trusting, just took people at their word, believed they were who they portrayed themselves to be. Now, I feel like I don't trust anyone. Only those that I have known for years that have proven themselves to me.

No words of advice, no clue how I will be. Just in the same place. I had my first court hearing yesterday.

It is hard to face the changes in yourself. Not sure yet which ones to keep.

(((((Roxy))))


Life is change. Growth is optional. Choose wisely.

I would now like to be known as Can!

dday October 21,2012
dday December 20, 2013
wh boots5050
attempted R, it was all a lie

divorcing


Posts: 1251 | Registered: Nov 2012 | From: Connecticut
HurtsButImOK
♀ Member
Member # 38865
Default  Posted: 7:00 PM, March 21st (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

ps - I don't know if you wrote that poem but it is beautiful and poignant in capturing the heartbreak of loss in a relationship.


Me: Awesome - 35

"I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel". –Maya Angelou

"When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be". –


Posts: 722 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Australia
Roxyme765
♀ New Member
Member # 41764
Default  Posted: 7:10 PM, March 21st (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I did write that poem. That's how sad and pathetic I feel - I've begun writing poetry. Ah insert dry laugh here.

I wake up in the middle of the night with thoughts stuck in my head so I started putting them down.

I feel the same - I hardly trust anyone. Especially since he picked a lot of girls who were my friends or people we hung out with.

Who is left in the world? I have significantly cut people from my life. I feel that most people were just "fillers".


Me: BS, 30
Him: WS, 30
D-Day: April 2013 (about 5 years of cheating with multiple OW)
Going through divorce.

Posts: 26 | Registered: Dec 2013
HurtsButImOK
♀ Member
Member # 38865
Default  Posted: 7:53 PM, March 21st (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((HUGE HUGS)))

There is nothing sad or pathetic in loving someone. His actions are no a reflection on you.

You have a gift with the pen, it has been said it is sharper than the sword. Give voice to your pain, it will help you to process, heal and move forward.


Me: Awesome - 35

"I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel". –Maya Angelou

"When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be". –


Posts: 722 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Australia
Topic Posts: 6

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