My oldest sister is in her early 50s. We are close to 15 years apart (Im 35)
She was born with many gifts- she is naturally beautiful and very smart.
She graduated from one of the top schools in the country.
But it has never been good enough. She had her IQ measured for Mensa... I think you have to have a 150 to get in, and she 'only' scored 146... So she complains that she is stupid.
She never married or had kids, and is upset about that, and says, "No one ever wanted me"... but she closed herself off and never went on dates after about 30 yrs old
She binge ate for years, which has made her obese. She complains about that.
She complains about her job, our mother (who she lives with) EVERYTHING. Its been like this for years-- decades. But recently she has gotten very angry.
I just got off the phone with her. She was SO ANGRY at mom who did not tell the plumber the correct thing to fix the leaky faucet. SO ANGRY that she would have to take off work and talk to the plumber herself.... SO ANGRY about a lot of things.
I told her about the leaky faucet "that's life, you just have to deal with it. don't let it get you so angry"
She then said she wasn't going to let me tell her what an awful person she was. She had to go and do her taxes. "I don't have a husband to do my taxes for me" (my husband does the taxes...)
I recently talked her into going to my old therapist. She has been 2x
I don't think there is anything I can do for her, but I really don't want to talk to her anymore. (I no longer live near her. but I do talk to her on the phone most days). I just don't have time, I have 2 young kids, a bipolar husband who needs a lot of emotional support, and I am just spent.
I feel badly for my sister, and would help if asked, but if I am going to get yelled at continually, I don't want to be her sounding board. I think im the last person who has any patience with her, and she's just pushed me away.