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Divorce/Separation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: The Arse is game playing (sigh)
Softcentre
Member
Member # 39166
Default  Posted: 3:19 AM, March 23rd (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

He put his wedding ring back on for his mum's funeral. I actually didn't notice at first (I don't look for it anymore, it's been almost a year since he took it off) someone pointed it out to me. It's been over a week and he's still wearing it.

I'm assuming it's some passive aggressive game playing? What do you think?

Maybe something along the lines of?:

I'll put my ring on and see if she notices. That will tell me if she cares.

or?:

I want to talk to her but she wants to file, so I'll hedge my bets, wear my ring and get her to start the conversation so that I won't have made myself vulnerable


But you know what? I'm done with p/a games. Wearing your ring and hoping I'll notice? Yes I've noticed. But I'm not going to play your game. You want to talk to me? Then talk to me. Make yourself vulnerable for once. Risk it....or don't. Your choice.


Me: BW
Him: STBXWH 'The Arse' - likes strong but broken OW
OW - EA - my friend 'Holy Chick'
COW - Suspected EA/PA 'The Ambassador'
COW - EA/PA - 'Fat Bottomed Girl'


Posts: 726 | Registered: May 2013 | From: UK
Caretaker1
♂ Member
Member # 42777
Default  Posted: 3:55 AM, March 23rd (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

He's trying it seems. Do you want to reconcile?

Posts: 234 | Registered: Mar 2014
Gemini71
♀ Member
Member # 40115
Default  Posted: 8:06 AM, March 23rd (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Sounds like he's following the cheaters handbook and getting ready to blame YOU for the divorce when you file. Don't fall for this p/a manipulation bull.


Edited to correct stupid typos.

Two steps forward and one step backwards, is still progress.


Posts: 1520 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: Illinois, USA
Take2
♀ Member
Member # 23890
Default  Posted: 8:30 AM, March 23rd (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My thought when the ring reappeared was: "yeah, you slept with how many other women while wearing it...?" Does not count as an action in my book.


"We must be willing to get rid of the life we've planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us." Joseph Campbell...So, If fear was not a factor - what would you do?

Posts: 4112 | Registered: May 2009 | From: New England
tesla
♀ Member
Member # 34697
Default  Posted: 8:39 AM, March 23rd (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

In the great scheme of the universe, him slipping a ring off or slipping a ring on his finger barely registers. Ok, let's be real, it doesn't register. Now, perhaps in his mind this is a great cosmic shift...but then he probably thinks grandiose thoughts of himself and his actions.


"Thou art the son and heir of a mongrel bitch." --King Lear

Posts: 4542 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: Indiana
Softcentre
Member
Member # 39166
Default  Posted: 3:28 PM, March 23rd (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

He knows my minimum requirements for considering R:

1. Cut off all contact with Fat Bottomed Girl and her circle of friends
2. Stop flirting with other women, don't spend one on one time with other women (incl social media etc), don't talk about our relationship with people of the opposite sex
3. Get back into counselling to work on his issues
4. Be honest about all that has happened, incl during S
5. Start by dating me and see where it goes.

Funnily enough...putting his ring back on was not on that list. I've yet to see that he has done anything on that list. But I'm happy for him to show me otherwise.

[This message edited by Softcentre at 4:08 PM, March 23rd, 2014 (Sunday)]


Me: BW
Him: STBXWH 'The Arse' - likes strong but broken OW
OW - EA - my friend 'Holy Chick'
COW - Suspected EA/PA 'The Ambassador'
COW - EA/PA - 'Fat Bottomed Girl'


Posts: 726 | Registered: May 2013 | From: UK
BtraydWife
♀ Member
Member # 42581
Default  Posted: 3:46 PM, March 23rd (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Now, perhaps in his mind this is a great cosmic shift...but then he probably thinks grandiose thoughts of himself and his actions.

This.

It's certainly for his benefit in some way. He hasn't met your list. Ignore him.


Me-BW
Him-WH
DD-March 2010
TT for 6 months

Delay is the deadliest form of denial. - C. Northcote Parkinson


Posts: 691 | Registered: Feb 2014 | From: United States
Topic Posts: 7

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