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User Topic: Washington mudslide...brother and sil among the missing
InnerLight
♀ Member
Member # 19946
Default  Posted: 9:42 PM, March 29th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((((Phoenix)))))) I can't imagine what this must be like. I hope we can be a place where you can take a break from your armor. I am impressed by your strength, and by all the love and caring expressed to you here. I am sorry for all you are going through and sending peace your way...


BS, age 53, d-day 6-2-08, divorced after 17 years and 20 together. Now I am living alone in the beautiful rural property that was once the dream retreat with X. It's taking a long time to create new dreams but despite some struggles I am mostly happy.

Posts: 5857 | Registered: Jun 2008 | From: Rural California
risingfromashes
♀ Member
Member # 3903
Default  Posted: 10:26 PM, March 29th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Sending you my prayers.


There is life on the other side of hell.

Posts: 1666 | Registered: Mar 2004
sad12008
♀ Member
Member # 18179
Default  Posted: 11:20 PM, March 29th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Just wanted to let you know you remain in my thoughts, Phoenix1. Sending you continued strength in this agonizing ordeal.

(((Phoenix1)))


You can't fill a cup with no bottom.

Posts: 3890 | Registered: Feb 2008 | From: a new start together
Harriet
♀ Member
Member # 34543
Default  Posted: 11:44 PM, March 29th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I rarely go to this forum, and I when I saw this title, my heart missed a beat. I am so sorry, Phoenix.


D-Day Spring 2008
3 years false R
Divorce Final 6/7/12

Posts: 491 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: California
thebighurt
♀ Member
Member # 34722
Default  Posted: 11:49 PM, March 29th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

So sorry, Phoenix, that you have so much on your shoulders at once. And sorry for your losses and the distractions of your nieces' behavior and the press now. It's sad that you can't even try to have a normal routine by going to work without it invading.

Please keep some focus on you and your wellbeing. I hope you find the chance to take a break and just do for yourself. Maybe just coming here and seeing how many people care about you and yours is a bit of comfort to you. I wish we could all give you hugs IRL and let you lean on us.


Finding what life could have been....... Why didn't I see it?

Posts: 2381 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: the Other Side
caregiver9000
♀ Member
Member # 28622
Default  Posted: 12:31 AM, March 30th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I agree with all the previous posters... Come here and find your soft place. So much love and support.

(((hugs))) and tears and strength and support winging your way.


Me: 44, independent, happy, despite co-parenting with a lower muppet
FT "Stretch" (and Skew!) ;)
DS 13 DS 10
S 5/2010
D 12/2012

Posts: 5859 | Registered: May 2010 | From: a better place
Random thoughts
♀ Member
Member # 2959
Default  Posted: 9:37 AM, March 30th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Phoenix, prayers sent to you and your family....you don't have to be the strong one to the point of falling ill..let go and cry and find a strong shoulder to lean on..


Those three words are said too much and not enough.
Chasing Cars-Snow Patrol.
FWW

Posts: 1604 | Registered: Dec 2003 | From: Some where in New Jersey
heartbroken0903
♀ Member
Member # 27879
Default  Posted: 10:41 AM, March 30th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Adding my prayers for your family and my condolences for your loss. I'm so sorry.


Me: XWS, 30s, 5-month EA/PA in '09-'10
Husband: XBS, 40s
No kids

Married 2.5 years
D-day 3/6/10
Divorced 5/14/10

Remarried.


Posts: 2226 | Registered: Mar 2010 | From: the cat's meow
Stillstings
♀ Member
Member # 36549
Default  Posted: 12:53 PM, March 30th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm very sorry OP. I'm also very angry that the media won't leave you alone, especially during such a stressful and emotionally draining time. Vultures.


Love yourself. You're worth it. Face your self. You need to do it.

Posts: 367 | Registered: Aug 2012
IrishLass518
♀ Member
Member # 34373
Default  Posted: 1:24 PM, March 30th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((Phoenix))) continued strength and support for you and yours


Me: 46 BS Divorced
Him: 45 Married OW
DDay: 07/04/2008
Divorced: 06/15/2011
5 kids: IrishLass 27,IrishLad 25, IrishLass 23, IrishLad 21 and IrishLad 12
"You can't run from trouble..there ain't no place that far"

Posts: 1777 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: WA
hill
Member
Member # 12166
Default  Posted: 3:32 PM, March 30th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((phoenix1)))

I'm so sorry, you and your family are in my thoughts.


Posts: 3155 | Registered: Sep 2006
Phoenix1
♀ Member
Member # 38928
Default  Posted: 4:15 PM, March 30th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My son (stationed in the Army there) and his buddy (also in the Army) have been granted authorization to walk in the slide area to where my brother's house was. They are going today, and are likely there now. This is necessary, but heartbreaking for the boys. They both practically lived there on the weekends. My brother had become my son's surrogate father and they were incredibly close. Their bond started just two years ago when son got stationed there. My brother told me he would watch over my son and make sure he was safe. My son was my brother's son that he never had, and treated him as such. As avid outdoorsmen, the three of them were constantly doing things together. In return for the boys eating everything in the house (they are active young men, after all), he would put their strong young backs to work around the property doing various improvements. Their bond became so strong that DS's actual father started showing some signs of jealousy. I worry about son not allowing himself time to grieve and I am trying to work with him about that.

The weekend before the slide, my brother gave son the blueprints to the house. Son has been talking about building his own home when he gets out of the military in August and comes home and bro gave him the prints so he could start teaching son the ins and outs of housebuilding. Those blueprints were essentially the textbook bro was going to use for those lessons. Son was excited about this, and now it will never happen.

[This message edited by Phoenix1 at 4:41 PM, March 30th (Sunday)]


BS - Me
XPOS - too many OW/OCs over 20+yrs
Kids - DDs 23,18 -DS20 Deceased
M Dissolved 2013

This above all: to thine own self be true, and it must follow, as the night the day, thou canst not then be false to any man ~ Shakespeare, Hamlet


Posts: 1187 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Rising out of Hell's ashes!
Compartmented
Member
Member # 29410
Default  Posted: 4:25 PM, March 30th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

{{{{ hugs to Phoenix and family }}}} I'm so sorry.

Posts: 1271 | Registered: Aug 2010
Stillstings
♀ Member
Member # 36549
Default  Posted: 4:25 PM, March 30th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Phoenix, wishing your son and his friend stay safe. Please surround yourself with as many loving people with you as possible.

I am so sorry. Hoping for the best for you and yours.


Love yourself. You're worth it. Face your self. You need to do it.

Posts: 367 | Registered: Aug 2012
little turtle
♀ Member
Member # 15584
Default  Posted: 6:34 PM, March 30th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((Phoenix)))) still reading your story as it progresses and praying. I have a brother. I can't imagine.


Failure is success if we learn from it.

Posts: 4202 | Registered: Aug 2007 | From: michigan
jadedheart
♀ Member
Member # 32046
Default  Posted: 7:11 PM, March 30th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((Phoenix)))

continued prayers for strength and comfort for you and your family.


Me 45
FWH 47
DS11, DD18, DS21(they know nothing about A)
Married 23 years together 25
Dday 09/24/2010
"You can't control how others behave, you can only control your reaction."

Posts: 980 | Registered: May 2011 | From: Indiana
simplydevastated
♀ Member
Member # 25001
Default  Posted: 7:32 PM, March 30th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

The weekend before the slide, my brother gave son the blueprints to the house. Son has been talking about building his own home when he gets out of the military in August and comes home and bro gave him the prints so he could start teaching son the ins and outs of housebuilding. Those blueprints were essentially the textbook bro was going to use for those lessons. Son was excited about this, and now it will never happen.

You never know. Your son could end up building the same house in honor of your brother.

(((Hugs)))


Me - BS, 39 (I'm not old...I'm vintage)
Two Wonderful children - DS10, DD7
Married, for now... (4+ D-Day - listed in profile.)

Posts: 5854 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: In the darkest depths of hell!
norabird
♀ Member
Member # 42092
Default  Posted: 7:48 PM, March 30th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm so sorry your son is having to be involved. I hope it helps him feel some resolution. It sounds as if you raised a wonderful man who will be an honor not just to you but to your brother's memory.


Sit. Feast on your life.

Posts: 4196 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: NYC
tesla
♀ Member
Member # 34697
Default  Posted: 8:03 PM, March 30th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I am so very sorry, phoenix.

I wish I could give you a hug and not just parentheses.
((((((phoenix)))))))


"Thou art the son and heir of a mongrel bitch." --King Lear

Posts: 4683 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: Indiana
BtraydWife
♀ Member
Member # 42581
Default  Posted: 8:32 PM, March 30th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I just read that more bodies were found but not retrieved yet. I hope your family hears some news soon. I'm not religious but I'm still praying for a miracle for your brother and SIL. Your brother sounds like a wonderful man. (((phoenix)))


Me-BW
Him-WH
DD-March 2010
TT for 6 months
Unremorseful for 3.5 years

Delay is the deadliest form of denial. - C. Northcote Parkinson

Your standards aren't up for negotiation just because he/she can't meet them.


Posts: 1874 | Registered: Feb 2014 | From: United States
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