I find myself thinking about you, and all that you are currently dealing with frequently. I hope that your family is given some peace, and relief from your brothers debtors.
I also pray that you are able to get some closure soon. The fact that the whole community is going through the same thing has to be a tiny bit of a comfort.
Know that we are all sending you strength.
thinking about you today
“Many of us crucify ourselves between two thieves - regret for the past and fear of the future.” -foulton oursler
Looks like nieces are in agreement to let me be Executor without a fight, but we stand in legal limbo until there is a death certificate for my brother since everything is in his name. They are saying the recovery efforts could go on for five more months...
It was interesting yesterday. As I mentioned previously, I had called bro's work and talked to the President of the company on Monday about having DS pick up bro's personal effects and my insistence on having DS be the one to go thru everything first as I was looking for any info that might lead to a Will. The President understood clearly what I was saying and offered to go thru bro's stuff personally and let me know if he found anything that might be useful. He did, called me back, and that is one of the open avenues I am working right now. Later that afternoon, oldest niece and SIL's bro were at the company for the sole purpose of finding out how they get their hands on bro's life insurance and 401k. Quite a disparity in goals. I am calling only interested in his Will, niece is there only interested in how fast they can get the money. The President called me to let me know they were there. Niece and her uncle asked if they could pick up bro's personal effects. President told them "no" and wouldn't even let them in his office because "they (the company) need time to retrieve all the pertinent business items first." Of course, that is a smoke screen and my DS has the green light to pick up everything and go thru all docs as soon as he is able. They are even willing to meet him after hours due to his military commitments, if necessary. Was glad the company President saw the writing on the wall and ran interference for me... little things like that help a lot, especially since I am so far away.
My phone (voice and text), email, and FB messaging have been blowing up daily and it is almost a full time job just staying on top of that. And I still have three jobs to fulfill as well as other daily life issues. Tired much? Yeah...
This above all: to thine own self be true, and it must follow, as the night the day, thou canst not then be false to any man ~ Shakespeare, Hamlet
Sending you more strength, I'm so sorry for all the distress this is causing.
It's great that DS is able to do so much, and that the company president is on top of things on that end.
Later that afternoon, oldest niece and SIL's bro were at the company for the sole purpose of finding out how they get their hands on bro's life insurance and 401k.
So, I realize that you know these people better then we do, but if something happened to DH, my first question would be 'how long does it take to get the life insurance and retirement' Not because I am secretly hoping for him to keel and i am greedy, but I would need that money to pay the bills and to keep food in our mouths. My check is not enough at all to cover all of it. I would rely heavly on the insurances and his retirement.
While i hope that this is the case for them, and not just that they will get money - time will tell.
I send you so much strength to get through this. You have shown incredible strength and grace so far, I simply can not imagine the stress.
Not because I am secretly hoping for him to keel and i am greedy, but I would need that money to pay the bills and to keep food in our mouths.
If it were his spouse or minor children, yes, that would be the case. However, that is not the case. Nieces are adults that have been out on their own for quite some time, unfortunately. They are both into drugs, one severely, which drives many of their poor choices. Very sad.
I'm so sorry the bulk of the dealings in all of this is falling on your shoulders. Perhaps when the news can be shared with SIL's family, you can have some alliance with them and some help on all that still needs to be done.
Is there any chance one of them may have a copy of the will?
Oh, and two thumbs up for your brother's Prez. He sounds like a great guy.
Continued prayers to all of you.
"Truth has no special time of its own. Its hour is now - always." - Albert Schweitzer
Me: BW - Him: 200+ # tumor removed 7/09
DS - 31 - Yikes!
I'm sorry for your loss and everything you are going through.
D-Day, June 10, 2012
If the mangling of the truck was not representative enough of the force, he also said they found a deer carcass that was completely skinned, as if someone took a knife and skinned it. The force of the slide completely ripped off the hide. Thus, as DS said, no one caught outside had a chance, and we are fairly certain bro was outside at the time. At least I can take comfort in knowing they likely died quickly.
Some clarification was obtained in that after Friday, when heavy equipment moves in, ONLY family members will be allowed in the area, no other volunteers. DS intends to keep going back, and the Red Cross is going to try to get him a gas card to help with his fuel costs in travelling. I guess DS has been a wealth of information for FEMA because he knows the area so well, and FEMA is working off of old information. He is telling them were houses were located that they do not have on their maps. Needless to say, they want him there, which is why the Red Cross is offering to help with his fuel costs to get there.
Apparently, the FBI and FEMA are now his new best buds. DS had bought and installed a motion sensitive camera in a tree that he had put in front of bro's house to help bro capture stills and video footage of a nuisance beaver that was tearing up the place. Though currently under water, the stand of trees it was in are still standing, and DS could identify them. FBI and FEMA want that footage as the camera MAY have been pointed at the actual slide. It may be the actual footage of the slide. They were at DS's side all day pinpointing the area, and they are planning to bring divers into the area with the hope that, though underwater, the camera is still attached to the intact tree. The camera is in a waterproof case. Any way, we will have to see how that plays out. Needless to say, the FBI and FEMA are now my DS's new best friends. It is possible the camera was ripped off the tree with the force. And it is still under at least 20 - 25 ft of water.
DS said he feels better about being out at the site, and it makes him feel good to help. This is bringing him a tremendous sense of closure, and for that I am eternally grateful. He sounds really good on the phone. I am SO thankful he wasn't there as planned when this happened!
He is also going to keep looking for the safe that bro kept all important documents in. There is always a chance it will be uncovered with the extensive excavation that is going on. Bro's Will is in that safe. They found a large gun safe, and even though the door was partially removed and it was full of water and mud, all guns were still inside. They were able to determine the owner so it could be turned over to his brother. Everything removed from the site must first go through extensive decontamination though as everything is heavily contaminated with septic contents, propane, petroleum products, chemicals, etc. It is quite a toxic mess.
Though I am starting the legal fallout process as Executor of bro's estate, we are still hopeful that something(s) will be found that will be beneficial in some way, whether legally or through emotional closure.
This is going to go on for a very long time, but I am glad DS is there to be actively involved, and he is willing to be involved on a positive note.
More rambling. Sorry. Just so much happening...
It sounds like you raised an amazing son! I'm glad he's able to help and to gain some closure.
I have to admit that I don't really know what to say in such a horrific, unimaginable situation. Just know that we're here for you.
Checking in every day to see how your family is doing.
I can attest to how therapeutic it can be to help in times or tragedy. You must be very proud of your son. I'm glad that these organizations are letting him know how much they value him.
I didn't realize that your son was supposed to be there when it happened. I'm so thankful he wasn't.
DS went out there almost every weekend bro was there, and that weekend was no different. There happened to be a last minute shift change for DS that kept him and his buddy from going out Friday night, which was the usual routine. That shift change saved their lives. DS was on the phone with bro about a half hour before the slide hit and bro was teasing DS about how nice the weather was, fishing was excellent, and DS should be there to enjoy it with him. That was bro's last communication. So this could have been so much more tragic! That truly would have killed me, and I was a mess until I knew DS was safe.
I continue to think of you and your family. What an amazing son you have.
Sending hugs and peace today.
It is really fascinating what your son is experiencing. I am glad the authorities are using him in a productive manner, instead of shooing him off. While I am sure it is hard for him, it is probably helping him in untold ways.
Many blessings to you all as you continue along this path.