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Newest Member: ReasonableDoubt (44577)

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User Topic: Washington mudslide...brother and sil among the missing
Ellejay
♀ Member
Member # 30498
Default  Posted: 9:46 AM, April 12th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((((Phoenix and DS))))

Thinking of you.


When it is dark enough, you can see the stars"- Ralph Waldo Emerson


Married 25 years now divorced.
D-Day: 20/11/10
Me: 48.5 plus 10% GST
Him: mental age 6 (apologies to all 6 year olds)
Betrayal: Who cares anymore?

Posts: 1094 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: Adelaide, South Australia
Phoenix1
♀ Member
Member # 38928
Default  Posted: 2:01 PM, April 12th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Continued thanks to everyone.

As of now the ME has identified 36 of 36 victims, and bro and SIL remain missing. DNA was obtained from nieces which tells me they are now trying to identify body parts, which were numerous based on what DS helped recover alone.

And so we continue to wait. I have an attorney that is going to try to get me emergency interim orders as POA as bro's affairs need to be tended to, including taxes. Landlord, mortgage company, etc. are all calling me, but I can't legally do what I know needs to be done. Just sucks all around.

DS is doing better after his meltdown last weekend. Thank goodness.


BS - Me
XPOS - too many OW/OCs over 20+yrs
Kids - DDs 22,17 -DS20 Deceased
M Dissolved 2013

This above all: to thine own self be true, and it must follow, as the night the day, thou canst not then be false to any man ~ Shakespeare, Hamlet


Posts: 1016 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Rising out of Hell's ashes!
LosferWords
♂ Guide
Member # 30369
Default  Posted: 3:08 PM, April 12th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((Phoenix)))

Sending huge hugs your way. I wish there was a way I could send you and your family more comfort. Know that I am thinking of you.


Posts: 6534 | Registered: Dec 2010
jadedheart
♀ Member
Member # 32046
Default  Posted: 8:42 PM, April 12th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((Phoenix)))

still praying for you!


Me 45
FWH 47
DS11, DD18, DS21(they know nothing about A)
Married 23 years together 25
Dday 09/24/2010
"You can't control how others behave, you can only control your reaction."

Posts: 980 | Registered: May 2011 | From: Indiana
Jrazz
♀ Guide
Member # 31349
Default  Posted: 1:32 AM, April 13th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Still here with you. Thinking about you every day.

(((Phoenix1)))


You will have bad times, but they will always wake you up to the stuff you weren't paying attention to. - Robin Williams

Posts: 16774 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: California
ExposedNiblet
♀ Member
Member # 30803
Default  Posted: 1:52 AM, April 13th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((Phoenix)))

Thinking of you and your family.


Divorced
Me ($39.95 plus S & H)
DS1(17), DS2(15)

Enjoying this chapter in my life.
Learning that being alone does not mean being lonely.
Discovering that where I've been is not as important as where I'm going.


Posts: 355 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: Right Here, Canada
Amazonia
♀ Member
Member # 32810
Default  Posted: 6:35 AM, April 13th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Wait, so the body that your son found, that he thought was your SIL, wasn't her?


"You yourself deserve your love and affection as much as anybody in the universe." -Buddha
"Let's face it, life is a crap shoot." -Sad in AZ

Posts: 13648 | Registered: Jul 2011
Phoenix1
♀ Member
Member # 38928
Default  Posted: 2:46 PM, April 13th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Wait, so the body that your son found, that he thought was your SIL, wasn't her?

Apparently not...


BS - Me
XPOS - too many OW/OCs over 20+yrs
Kids - DDs 22,17 -DS20 Deceased
M Dissolved 2013

This above all: to thine own self be true, and it must follow, as the night the day, thou canst not then be false to any man ~ Shakespeare, Hamlet


Posts: 1016 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Rising out of Hell's ashes!
sisoon
♂ Member
Member # 31240
Default  Posted: 4:59 PM, April 13th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Still thinking of you. This must be Hell.

(((Phoenix1)))


fBH (me) - 70, fWW (plainsong) - 65+, Married 45+, together since 1965
DDay - 12/2010
Recovered, not yet fully R'ed
I share my own experience because it's the only experience I know, not because I'm a good model.

Posts: 9910 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: Chicago area
Kajem
♀ Member
Member # 36134
Default  Posted: 6:13 PM, April 13th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Continuing prayers for you and your family.


I trust you is a better compliment than I love you, because you may not trust the person you love, but you can always love the person you trust. - Unknown
Relationships are like sharing a book, it doesn't work if you're not on the same page.

Posts: 4982 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: Florida
hexed
♀ Member
Member # 19258
Default  Posted: 6:38 PM, April 13th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thinking about you Phoenix.

((Phoenix + DS))

Hope you're doing alright this weekend


But that's just a lot of water
Underneath a bridge I burned
And there's no use in backtracking
Around corners I have turned

“Many of us crucify ourselves between two thieves - regret for the past and fear of the future.” -foulton oursler


Posts: 8434 | Registered: Apr 2008
Dobegirl
♀ Member
Member # 41837
Default  Posted: 7:27 PM, April 13th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Sending you prayers and hugs to you and your family


Me- BS 44 Always faithfull
Him- WS 44
2 mo. EA/PA with 25 yr. old slut that stroked his ego, online profiles, CL ads
Married 8 years-No kids together
DDay-11/21/12
False R many different times fromJan/13 till Dec/13
Divorcing

Posts: 148 | Registered: Dec 2013 | From: Northern Indiana
AgainandAgain
♀ Member
Member # 34835
Default  Posted: 10:13 PM, April 13th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Just wanted to let you know I'm still thinking of you and your family.


((((((((((Phoenix and family))))))))))


Posts: 231 | Registered: Feb 2012
cinnamongurl
♀ Member
Member # 37879
Default  Posted: 11:05 PM, April 13th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Phoenix, I come here every day to check on you, and every day my heart breaks a little more for you and DS. Wishing you both strength, peace and some closure. Our thoughts, prayers and mojo from the cinnamon household.


Me: 36 fWGF He: 35 BBF and my heart
Together 18 yrs. "You were sick, but now you're well again, and there's work to do."
Kurt Vonnegut



Posts: 506 | Registered: Dec 2012 | From: home with my heart.
Gottagetthrough
Member
Member # 27325
Default  Posted: 10:08 AM, April 14th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Phoenix, I am so very sorry, I am thinking and praying for your family.

Please know that there are a lot of us who are sending positive thoughts and prayers your way.


Posts: 1341 | Registered: Jan 2010
MissMouseMo
♀ Member
Member # 38562
Default  Posted: 3:39 PM, April 14th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Phoenix, forgive me please for discussing the financial aspect of this tragedy (be assured you and your family have been in my thoughts, but I saw a place to *perhaps* be of practical use to you).

You said your son lost all the possessions he’d worked so hard for, and I do not know your financial position, but if you are settling the estate it is expected that you will be paid, and perhaps some of that money can replace a few of the most important things your son lost?

I understand most states pay the representative on a percentage of the estate, but Washington is unusual in calculating it on the actual number of hours worked. Here:

Washington's Probate and Trust Law is codified at RCW chapter 11 (http://apps.leg.wa.gov/RCW/default.aspx?Cite=11 ).
RCW 11.48.210 reads: Compensation…The personal representative…shall be allowed such compensation for his or her services as the court shall deem just and reasonable.

Online I saw an attorney (Richard Wills, probate atty) write: “I've repeatedly succeeded in obtaining the Court's approval for the payment of $50 hourly to a lay PR, although with the Court opining ‘That's the top of the range for a lay PR.’"

Since the it is calculated by the hour, I want to urge you to start now to keep records of your time – and to begin reconstructing the time you have already spent. This *could* be contentious so I would not be coy in setting expectations. Your job is cut out for you and you should be compensated for the hard work you have done and will face.

Again, I have thought of you often and am standing quietly with you.


It is the gut-wrenching, down-to-your-soul honesty that helps so much. ~paraphrased from CancunCrushed
"I edit, therefore I am." -BionicGal

Posts: 263 | Registered: Feb 2013
Neverwudaguessed
♀ Member
Member # 41884
Default  Posted: 11:10 PM, April 19th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thinking of you everyday, sending you strength, along with everyone else here..


BW: 44 Me
WH:48
DDay1 9-9-13 (18th Wedding Anniversary) 6 wk EA, 1 wk PA
DDay2: 10-25-13 EA/PA with same OW 12 1/2 years ago for 3 months
OW: XGF Predator who never stopped pursuing WH
DS 13
DD 11

Posts: 468 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: New York
BtraydWife
♀ Member
Member # 42581
Default  Posted: 8:53 AM, April 21st (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((Phoenix and family)))


Me-BW
Him-WH
DD-March 2010
TT for 6 months
Unremorseful for 3.5 years

Delay is the deadliest form of denial. - C. Northcote Parkinson

Your standards aren't up for negotiation just because he/she can't meet them.


Posts: 1270 | Registered: Feb 2014 | From: United States
Topic Posts: 358
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