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Reconciliation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Hope you read....my yoga moment
Sad in AZ
♀ Member
Member # 24239
Default  Posted: 11:39 PM, March 25th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

t/j: Pigeon pose: Keep your active foot bent at a 90 degree angle; it will help keep the pressure off your knee.

I use this philosophy to meet the challenges of any difficulty in life. I force myself to confront the difficulty; it helps me gauge where I am in my healing and also acts as an innoculator--if I face the pain, it's not as painful the next time.


I solemnly swear that I am up to no good.

Posts: 20228 | Registered: Jun 2009 | From: Upstate NY
blakesteele
♂ Member
Member # 38044
Default  Posted: 5:57 AM, March 26th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Great analogy LA44....stay with something until you can't any longer, then breath and stay a bit longer.

I've only done yoga a few times.....but this trial has confirmed the truth in what your instructor preaches.

I draw strength and courage from the "flexibility" I have attained through this process. This post afforded me the opportunity to breath and appreciate where I have come from and feel peaceful about the road ahead.

Thank you.


ME: 42 BH, I don't PM female members
SHE: 38 EA
Married: 15 years
Together: 17 years
D/Day 9-10-12
NC: 10-25-12
NC: Broken early November 2012, OM not respond
2 girls; 7 and 10
Fear is payments on debts you have not

Posts: 3763 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: Central Missouri
brokensmile322
♀ Member
Member # 35758
Default  Posted: 9:50 AM, March 26th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thanks for posting LA. I have never tried yoga, but I have wanted to…been kind of chicken.

You have inspired me to look into it. Any ideas where to start? Is yoga a thing that doesn't matter where you are i.e. beginner, pro etc? I ask because I have made the mistake of joining classes before and being in over my head! LOL!


Me BS 42 Him WS 44
OW Coworker DDay April 7, 2012
EA on a slippery slope...

When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves. ~Viktor Frankl

"When you are happy, you can forgive a great deal."


Posts: 1497 | Registered: Jun 2012
Neverwudaguessed
♀ Member
Member # 41884
Default  Posted: 10:18 AM, March 26th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

LA; this post reminded me how much I enjoyed a trial pack of ten hot yoga classes I took. I hadn't been toughed by the horrific pain of infidelity and betrayal, but I really did find that it was so satisfying to concentrate and focus on just what was going on in the room. Quiet progress and discipline. I feel inspired to look at getting back into it now. I think it would be MOST beneficial!!

THANK YOU


BW: 44 Me
WH:48
DDay1 9-9-13 (18th Wedding Anniversary) 6 wk EA, 1 wk PA
DDay2: 10-25-13 EA/PA with same OW 12 1/2 years ago for 3 months
OW: XGF Predator who never stopped pursuing WH
DS 13
DD 11

Posts: 604 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: New York
struggling16
♀ Member
Member # 33202
Default  Posted: 10:23 AM, March 26th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thank you for this post. Your insights are very helpful. I had forgotten how much I loved my yoga lessons. I gave them up after Dday because it made me so sad and I was actually afraid to leave the house alone.

During yoga class (and the A period), I would send positive, healing thoughts out to my H because I knew our M was having serious problems. I, too, would weep.

On several occasions, I returned home anticipating shared quality time with my H and he would be gone 'to the cottage'-actually to meet the AP.

I guess I must work on acceptance and reclaim my valued yoga.


Posts: 718 | Registered: Aug 2011
ICECOLD
♀ New Member
Member # 40258
Default  Posted: 2:18 PM, March 26th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thanks for sharing, I really need to look into yoga. Truthfully I avoided it because all the crazy hype, but sometimes the hype is deserved.


"If you think the grass is greener on the other side, it's because it's fertilized with bullshit."

"If you think the grass is greener, you're welcome to take a hike"

BS:47
WS:45
Kids

R: one foot in, and one foot out


Posts: 50 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: Atlanta GA
LA44
♀ Member
Member # 38384
Default  Posted: 2:32 PM, March 26th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Wow, you guys! I am really touched by how many people liked this post and actually want to try yoga!

@brokensmile....

You have inspired me to look into it. Any ideas where to start? Is yoga a thing that doesn't matter where you are i.e. beginner, pro etc?

That's great! My classes are held at the gym I go too. I always take the same class (bc it is always challenging enough!) and its called, Flow for Beginners. I think I have taken it 4x now. It's a solid workout that clears my head.

Take a look at a local gym. Even if you are not a member, you should still be able to take a class. Or maybe a local YMCA offers it? If you have a community newspaper there might be something in there. Cafe's also post this sort of thing.


Me: 44
He: 47 WH
Married: 15 years
D Day: December 2012
Affair: Fall 2009 - Dec. 2011
R is not linear

Posts: 2315 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: Canada, eh
LA44
♀ Member
Member # 38384
Default  Posted: 2:35 PM, March 26th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

and yes struggling16 - RECLAIM IT! It's YOURS!


Me: 44
He: 47 WH
Married: 15 years
D Day: December 2012
Affair: Fall 2009 - Dec. 2011
R is not linear

Posts: 2315 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: Canada, eh
LA44
♀ Member
Member # 38384
Default  Posted: 2:39 PM, March 26th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

t/j: Pigeon pose: Keep your active foot bent at a 90 degree angle; it will help keep the pressure off your knee.

ps: Thanks for the tip Sad in AZ. BTW, I nodded my head to everything you wrote.

So great to see you CinnGurl my first SI "friend"!

((all of you))


Me: 44
He: 47 WH
Married: 15 years
D Day: December 2012
Affair: Fall 2009 - Dec. 2011
R is not linear

Posts: 2315 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: Canada, eh
authenticnow
♀ Moderator
Member # 16024
Default  Posted: 2:53 PM, March 26th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Wanted to share that today I had a tough moment at work. Since I moved back to NY I had been anticipating running into an ex-friend and it happened today. My first reaction was shaky hands and a slight gasp. I told myself to calm down and I took some deep breaths. The physical reaction evened out and I got through it pretty well. I truly believe that practicing yoga consistently the past two months helped me get through this moment.


Take up your space (and do it well).

"That's the thing about pain, it demands to be felt."


Posts: 37755 | Registered: Sep 2007
strad
♀ New Member
Member # 41509
Default  Posted: 3:00 PM, March 26th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

What a timely post. I took a class just this morning and was in tears at the end, it's the first time I've cried at the end of yoga class but I suspect it won't be the last time! Namaste to us all.


Me: BW, 49
WH, 51
son, 18
d-day 10/1/13
married 26 years
Divorced 3/21/14

Posts: 32 | Registered: Dec 2013 | From: United States
SadFlower
♀ Member
Member # 37725
Default  Posted: 9:38 PM, March 26th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

LA44, I loved your post.

I don't know how I would have survived the aftermath of D-Day without yoga.

Besides the physical benefits--my flexibility and balance have improved markedly--the psychological benefits have been huge. I can't tell you how many times I've gone to class feeling on the emotional edge, then by the end feel that all will eventually be all right.


Me: BW, age 66
Him: WH, age 64
Married 19 years
In R.

D-Day: August 14, 2012
9 year LTA with former co-worker and family "friend"/7 years EA+PA, 2 more years EA


Posts: 400 | Registered: Dec 2012 | From: Connecticut
the past is gone
♀ Member
Member # 28813
Default  Posted: 11:21 PM, March 26th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My hot yoga story:
I started hot yoga about 5 years ago. My husband was cycling and running and going to the gym at that time (with OW)- So I went to yoga to do my own thing. Of course I didn't know that when I was at yoga twice a week for two hours- he was cheating on me.

When the class would end that first year I always did svasna asking the universe for clarity. I always felt that I was missing something in my life, that was happening that I needed to know about. Weird. But there was something I needed to know. That my H was having an A. And he actually confessed one Saturday morning after I returned from yoga class.

Fast forward 4 years - the worst happens. He has another A. I caught this one within weeks of their PA and two months since EA started. I found text messages where he told her my yoga schedule so that they could meet at those times. Really? Ugh.

When we decided to R I returned to yoga. I love yoga. I won't give it up. It's amazing when you reach beyond what you think your body can do. It's amazing to focus only on your self exclusively for 90 minutes. It's a toxin release, massage, chiropractic adjustment and mindful meditation rolled into one activity. I cry too at yoga- when life happens. So many times I've lost it at yoga. Just cried like a baby. What a great release. What a great metaphor for life- breathe and stay calm and get through it.

So I love yoga. But as you can see even yoga is a trigger for me. This all sucks so much!

Bs: me
WS: him
M: 27 years
2 adult kids
D day 1: 2/12/10
D day 2: 1/13/14
Both OW co- workers.
In R

"He's broken. I take each day one at a time. "


Posts: 105 | Registered: Jun 2010
LA44
♀ Member
Member # 38384
Default  Posted: 11:59 AM, March 27th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

This all sucks so much!

Well, it does suck - the past is done - but what a great mind-set you have in spite of your experiences and how your H used yoga against you. But you held onto it. That is wonderful! I am going to try Hot Yoga this month!

Thanks too, Strad, Sad Flower and AN. I's say yoga is definitely a healer through both physical and mental pain.


Me: 44
He: 47 WH
Married: 15 years
D Day: December 2012
Affair: Fall 2009 - Dec. 2011
R is not linear

Posts: 2315 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: Canada, eh
FightingBack
♀ Member
Member # 34770
Default  Posted: 6:59 PM, April 23rd (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


I use this philosophy to meet the challenges of any difficulty in life. I force myself to confront the difficulty; it helps me gauge where I am in my healing and also acts as an innoculator--if I face the pain, it's not as painful the next time.

I really like this thread. Just came across it today. Thanks.


Me 53
WH 58
Married 25 years
4 children S30,D24, S23,S21
D-Day Nov. 29, 2011
15 year affair with married employee.
Together trying to make sense of it all!

Posts: 774 | Registered: Feb 2012
LA44
♀ Member
Member # 38384
Default  Posted: 7:06 PM, April 23rd (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

The funny thing Fighting Back is that I - the one who started this post - needed to read this again so I am so glad you stumbled on it. So funny how life works isn't it? I was in a much better place when I started this thread last month so this reminded me of where I was and where I need to get too again.

There is a class tomorrow that everyone has been talking about. I think I had better go.

LA


Me: 44
He: 47 WH
Married: 15 years
D Day: December 2012
Affair: Fall 2009 - Dec. 2011
R is not linear

Posts: 2315 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: Canada, eh
mamak
♀ Member
Member # 35969
Default  Posted: 7:51 PM, April 23rd (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I started yoga the week after I found out. In fact, an hour before I started my first class I had learned that he kissed her.

Your post reminded me that I need to get back into my classes! I cry every single time I go into pigeon!

Great post!

[This message edited by mamak at 7:53 PM, April 23rd (Wednesday)]


Me - 37, Him - 34
Married - 12 years
Three kiddos (oldest is mine) - 9, 11,13
DDay #1 - 4/21/2012, Discovered 3 mo. EA (texts, phone calls, nude pics, sexting, 1 kiss)
R - 4/24/12. R going well

Posts: 287 | Registered: Jun 2012
creativecat
♀ Member
Member # 41728
Default  Posted: 8:32 PM, April 23rd (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I do mat pilates, not yoga, but there are some very similar stretches, especially during warm up and cool down...and the breathing definitely helps!

I started after D-Day#2, and it was an amazing experience for me, mentally and physically. Just the act of taking time to care for myself was wonderful.


Posts: 89 | Registered: Dec 2013
Topic Posts: 38
Pages: 1 · 2

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