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Newest Member: JaneDoe11 (44948)

Just Found Out Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Discovered husband
Microscopic
New Member
Member # 42903
Default  Posted: 7:00 AM, March 26th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hello, my name is mia. Me and husband have joined this forum. I recently discovered husband having relationship. Extremely difficult for me. I have health issues as we'll. looking for support. I have gone to counseling but find it difficult to express myself as the experience was so traumatic. This forum was suggested. Thank u, mia and. Scott

Posts: 3 | Registered: Mar 2014 | From: Massachuseetts
justinpaintoday
♂ Member
Member # 42858
Default  Posted: 7:20 AM, March 26th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Welcome to both of you. The fact that you both are here is encouraging. Please look to the left in the Healing Library. There are a ton of resources.

You will find a loving and caring group for both of you. Most here will be envious of a spouse willing to repent and heal. You both will need to heal. Be assured any and all questions will be answerred lovingly and honestly.

You are in for a journey and it will take time but be assured you can make it. Post often and read others. Participate and be assured we will stand by you both as you work to heal.


I never realized you could be in this much pain and not be dying.

Posts: 700 | Registered: Mar 2014
Microscopic
New Member
Member # 42903
Default  Posted: 7:44 AM, March 26th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thank you. I am having hard time with this. I feel helpless and used. Very traumatic for me.

Posts: 3 | Registered: Mar 2014 | From: Massachuseetts
Take2
♀ Member
Member # 23890
Default  Posted: 7:54 AM, March 26th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Traumatic is a good word for it, and some here have been diagnosed with PTSD due to the betrayal of an A. You aren't alone! What lies ahead is going to be hard, for both of you... Deep breath - one step at a time... Welcome to SI.


"We must be willing to get rid of the life we've planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us." Joseph Campbell...So, If fear was not a factor - what would you do?

Posts: 4113 | Registered: May 2009 | From: New England
confused615
♀ Member
Member # 30826
Default  Posted: 7:57 AM, March 26th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Being betrayed is traumatic.

When was your dday? What is WH doing to help you heal? To heal himself? And the marriage?

Is he NC(no contact) with the OW?

Has he been tested for STD's? You too?

Is he completely open and transparent with you? Do you have full access to ALL of his accounts? Cell? Email? Facebook?

Is he answering all of your questions without blame or anger?

Is he taking full responsibility for his decision to cheat?

Is he in IC to figure out his why?

It takes 3-5 years to heal from infidelity. But with a remorseful WS, and a lot of hard work, you can survive. The early days are the hardest. Make sure you are eating, drinking water, and getting some rest.

Welcome to SI.

[This message edited by confused615 at 7:57 AM, March 26th (Wednesday)]


BS(me)42
FWH 45
4 kids..21,20,11,10
M: June 2001
D-Day: 8/10/10
Status: Reconciling.

..that feeling you get in your stomach, when you heart's broken. It's like all the butterflies just died.


Posts: 7421 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: Indiana
norabird
♀ Member
Member # 42092
Default  Posted: 10:10 AM, March 26th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hi, Mia. I'm sorry you had to come here. You're right, it is a trauma. First things first, is the A over? Have you both committed to healing each other? If the A is still ongoing or if there's indecision, it's a different road. But if you are both committed healing is possible, with transparency, counseling, and patience.


Sit. Feast on your life.

Posts: 4165 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: NYC
Topic Posts: 6

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