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Just Found Out Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: How can I survive
justinpaintoday
♂ Member
Member # 42858
Default  Posted: 1:50 PM, March 26th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Well now I don't pay for her phone because after she saw I could track her activity she smashed her phone. Next day got a new one on her parents plan...said it was cheaper...yeah right.

Once I present her with papers I will begin to cut back on support like gas. I am also trying to balance a healthy home for the kids until she leaves (said she would) .


I never realized you could be in this much pain and not be dying.

Posts: 700 | Registered: Mar 2014
LA44
♀ Member
Member # 38384
Default  Posted: 2:01 PM, March 26th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I do feel a little bad though. I villify my WW here alot based upon her actions,

Well, you are trying to heal. And you are actually very civil when you speak of her. And I believe you said that she is talking crap to her parents about you and now they are doing the same.

Their actions are based on what? Their intent is to hurt you. You did not MAKE this happen. You are simply trying to get through each day.

I also like Confused's suggestions!

Okay. Gotta run. Yet another storm day here in Canada and kids need attn.!


Me: 44
He: 47 WH
Married: 15 years
D Day: December 2012
Affair: Fall 2009 - Dec. 2011
R is not linear

Posts: 2274 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: Canada, eh
justinpaintoday
♂ Member
Member # 42858
Default  Posted: 2:10 PM, March 26th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Crazy enough I don't want to get to a point where all the good times get overshadowed by the final times which are bad. I want to remain a gentleman as far as I can, for me


I never realized you could be in this much pain and not be dying.

Posts: 700 | Registered: Mar 2014
craig2001
♂ Member
Member # 55
Default  Posted: 3:11 PM, March 26th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I could track her activity she smashed her phone.
She smashed the phone you paid for. She doesn't seem to know the value of money either.

I would send her a bill for the broken phone.


Posts: 3917 | Registered: Jun 2002
tushnurse
♀ Member
Member # 21101
Default  Posted: 3:35 PM, March 26th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

There is no shame in taking the high the road, as you intend to do, but know that it can be a very difficult road to travel, esp as she will rewrite your marital history, and continue to demonize you even more.

Make it abundantly clear that you will not tolerate her demonizing you to your kids. That is not an option. She can say what she wants to anyone else, but she is NOT allowed to talk smack about you with the kids.

Started 180 a 4 days ago and was doing better but today was tough. My wife seems to like the 180, she hasn't seemed to cae I not around her. I feel thrown away, it really hurts.

You do know that the 180 is for you, not for her. If you are doing it in hopes that she gets her head out of her ass then you are doing it for the wrong reasons, and it will be even more difficult. This is to protect you and your heart.

As far as your job goes, if you have a great job, and a wonderful boss, but feel like you are not able to perform at your normal level, I strongly encourage you to take the time to get your FMLA papers filled out and signed by your Dr. This is a horrible time, and you will need days off to pull yourself together emotionally. You don't want to have to do this, or not allow yourself this time, for fear of losing your job, and please know that even if you have worked for the same company for 100 years, and they love you they will not act honorably and take your personal situation into account when things get tight, or your boss gets tired of you subpar performance.

I too had great bosses at the time, and unfortunately it was a small company that I was the boss of everyone minus the two owners (Dr's). Trust me had I missed the work I should have they would have fired me on the spot. They certainly were not happy with my performance for about 6 months, it was quite subpar from previous.

This shit takes a toll, and it will quite possibly be the hardest thing you go through in your life. It's normal to feel overwhelmed, sad, angry, whatever. You have to allow yourself to grieve your M. Even if you do R, you still have to grieve what was lost.

((((and strength))))


Me: FBS
Him: FWS
Kids: 15 & 17
Married for 22 years now, was 16 at the time. .
D-Day Sept 26 2008
Fully R'd, and Happy Happy Happy

Posts: 8428 | Registered: Oct 2008 | From: St. Louis
Topic Posts: 25
Pages: 1 · 2

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