Not looking forward to this.
Since justice is "supposed" to be blind, file anything a SAHM would. File for emergency support, exclusive use of the house, etc. Make sure you find a lawyer who is willing to fight for your rights.
Carry a VAR and protect yourself against false claims of abuse.
Two steps forward and one step backwards, is still progress.
Have you spoken to a L yet?
In my effort to be *concise*, I often come off as blunt and harsh. Sorry, don't mean to be offensive.
As a SAHM for 15 years the protocol was that I would be assigned minimum wage at 40 a week (whether I was working or not). SS would be based on the difference incomes based on that figure @25-33% (long term M - 30 years).
My state has done away with alimony entirely, except for very specific circumstances (over 10 years of marriage AND reparative.... Like if they spent 80k on school out of family money, or did XYZ with family money).
So, in my state, what usually happens is that
- Workimg parent gets both the house &80% to full custody (because they have the job to support them, and the house to live in)
UNLESS... Your lawyer works miracles.
In order to work miracles, they need to be in on the ground floor.
Once you start doing things in preparation for divorce, it changes the ENTIRE ball game (say you get a job, but don't file for 3 more years, her attorney can argue date of separation 3 years prior / bad faith).
So getting a job as a worst case, and trying to save your marriage can screw you.
Nothing about the law makes sense or is fair.
So do zip, nada, zilch, until you have an attorney to guide you through that maze.
Really. It's crazy-town. Where the shortest way from A to B is a double helix reflected on a spiral, folded in half, and swallowed by a chimpanzee.
Moi : BS MH 30mumble
Him : WS Abuse Adultery Addict Six-figure Sociopath = Aaass
... I picked a winner!
DDay - 2006 ad naseam
Let me just tell you plainly that it is not easy to re-enter the workforce after you've taken time out to raise a family. I have been trying to get a job for 1.5 years. No one takes me seriously. So don't delay in looking for work.
There is gender bias in the court system, but it is not against dads. It is against protective mothers who are trying to save their children from an abusive father.
Courts expect at least 60/40 for custody so CS is minimal as well. Your best best is to secure half of whatever assets you can and divert as much of the liabilities/debt in your name before you file and start looking for work right away. Look into assistance programs too, because it is better to do it now than when under duress since many take time to set up. Pretty much once you file, most places expect you will not SAH any more and should be self-supporting.