Topic: When is the betrayed experience a good thing?
Member # 39652
| Posted: 2:43 PM, March 28th (Friday), 2014|
When you discover that the fiance of your beautiful, amazing, intelligent, sparkling, kind, and loving daughter, is having an inappropriate relationship with his coworker....and what you've learned along this miserable experience can be used to help her with what she's having to deal with.
This is just complete and utter shit... and it's so hard to sit back and only guide, support, and be here for her...when every part of this mom's being wants to go after that two-faced, undeserving, bucket of vomit and shake his world till his two pathetic balls go rolling into the gutter, next to the skank whore he's so into these days.
There is still a lot of unknown at the moment. But lots that is fact:
* This bucket of vomit does NOT deserve my daughter.
* This bucket of vomit, who happens to be a teacher at a Catholic school, should NOT be teaching our children.
* My beautiful daughter deserves the world, and an amazing man to walk through it, beside her, loving her every day of her life.
* My daughter is strong (hell, she's my daughter)
* My daughter WILL get past this, and come out stronger, and not damaged from this.
* And this mom, while I've taken the high road with my own relationships, when it comes to my children...I'm not afraid of getting dirty and doing what's needed to help them get to a good place again.
Please keep my daughter in your prayers, and send her strength...
[This message edited by TrulySad at 2:51 PM, March 28th (Friday)]
Me: Done with his bullshit and getting stronger day by day
Posts: 423 | Registered: Jun 2013
Member # 41347
| Posted: 3:06 PM, March 28th (Friday), 2014|
Prayers are with you! (Hugs)
I am now nothing by a mere Ronin.
Posts: 1029 | Registered: Nov 2013 | From: Maryland
Member # 42601
| Posted: 3:09 PM, March 28th (Friday), 2014|
So painful. In answer to your question, I do not believe being a BS is ever a good thing, no matter how much insight we learn.
What does she want to do? I would be all for exposing him to the school and the ow bs if there is one. But I understand you have to support whether or not that is what she wants to do.
Help her get her ducks in a row, if they aren't married still, if they share a house or anything she should prepare. LIke we tell others, preparing doesn't mean you have to do it.
Me - maybe BW
He - maybe WH
My mother was always the OW
ExWH in first marriage had LTA. DDAY was November 2003.
2/2013 Busted him at strip club.
Porous boundaries w/ ho-worker
Posts: 269 | Registered: Feb 2014
Member # 27176
| Posted: 3:09 PM, March 28th (Friday), 2014|
Wow. I feel so sad for your DD, yet cant help but think that you will make a huge difference in her healing.
Prayers for strength for you both.
BS:ME DDay: 7/18/09 Last of TT 7/11/10
MOW's EA/PA all were my "friends" but one
Posts: 2372 | Registered: Jan 2010
Member # 42092
| Posted: 3:37 PM, March 28th (Friday), 2014|
Sending strength for DD. What a lucky woman to have you by her side at this time.
Sit. Feast on your life.
Posts: 3708 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: NYC
Member # 31868
| Posted: 6:59 PM, March 28th (Friday), 2014|
The only good things are that she gets away from this guy before she's in too deep, and any learning she does from the experience. Sadder but wiser.
When you put someone on a pedestal, they quickly learn two things. The view is mighty good from up there, and it is a fine vantage from which to kick.
Posts: 183 | Registered: Apr 2011 | From: Hawaii
Member # 41761
| Posted: 8:42 PM, March 28th (Friday), 2014|
Sending you strength tonight, and your daughter!! Thank goodness she has you, a survivor, to help her through this difficult time!!
Always know if the juice is worth the squeeze...
Together 7 years
DDay: June 24, 2013
Posts: 565 | Registered: Dec 2013 | From: Pennsylvania
Member # 42654
| Posted: 1:17 AM, March 29th (Saturday), 2014|
Prayers going up for your dd. Give her a big hug for me.
Dday #1 Oct 2007 (Porn for 2 yrs)
Dday #2 May 2013 (Porn for 5 more yrs))
Dday#3 May 2014 (finally admitted to drunk kissing OW in 1994: the 2nd drunken kiss with another woman during our M)
DD 21 and DS 17
Posts: 398 | Registered: Mar 2014
Member # 40032
| Posted: 11:38 AM, March 29th (Saturday), 2014|
It's never a good thing. In fact in my case this is the worst and most difficult thing I have gone thru. I'm a shell of the person I was before this. But my fWH waited after 30years of M to committ adultery. At least he's deeply sorry and truly regrets it but it can't be undone so everything has changed.
So in your daughter's case it is a good thing that she found out her fiance's true colors before she got married and had a family with him. Ironically my fiance cheated on me and my H knew this and promised he would never do this to me.
BW- mid 50's (me)
M 33 T 35
In R but I have PTSD...
Posts: 482 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: USA
|Topic Posts: 9|