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User Topic: What songs can you relate to right now in this process?
AlwaysTooNice
♀ Member
Member # 41701
Default  Posted: 7:50 PM, March 29th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Let it Go from Frozen has been my go-to. I open the sunroof, blare the song, and practically scream/sing the words every night on the way home from class.


Me: 25 SAHM Him: 27
DDay 1: Sept 2009 - rugswept
Married: Oct 2010
DDay 2: Nov 2013 - confronted 3 weeks later & separated
False R. Filed for D Mar 2014

Posts: 66 | Registered: Dec 2013 | From: SE USA
AlwaysTooNice
♀ Member
Member # 41701
Default  Posted: 7:52 PM, March 29th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Oh my gosh! How could I forget?!

Fuck You by Lily Allen

Seriously... download it.


Me: 25 SAHM Him: 27
DDay 1: Sept 2009 - rugswept
Married: Oct 2010
DDay 2: Nov 2013 - confronted 3 weeks later & separated
False R. Filed for D Mar 2014

Posts: 66 | Registered: Dec 2013 | From: SE USA
Getting to Happy
♀ Member
Member # 35200
Default  Posted: 8:18 PM, March 29th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I used to love this song. Now when I hear it, it makes me bristle and then I start to tear up.

Just after DD I was work and this song came on...I started to cry...and nobody at my job knew what had happened between us. It was horrible. I had to run off the the toilet to hid so that no one could see me.

Mr. Happy and I have since R'ed. But this song still makes me sad. He was so handsome and a great husband and father... I thought that I was a princess in a fairy tale for most of our marriage. Now...not so much.

We are just statistics...common, prosaic. Something I never wanted to be...

He is still handsome, and a great providers but our life has changed. We are different, the innocents is gone.


FAIRY TALES~
I can remember stories, those things my mother said
She told me fairy tales before I went to bed
She spoke of happy endings then tucked me in real tight
She turned my night light on and kissed my face good night

My mind would fill with visions of perfect paradise
She told me everything, she said he'd be so nice
He'd ride up on his horse and take me away one night
I'd be so happy with him, we'd ride clean out of sight
She never said that we would, curse, cry and scream and lie
She never said that maybe, someday he'd say goodbye

The story ends, as stories do
Reality steps into view
No longer living life in paradise
Of fairy tales, no

She spoke about happy endings, of stories not like this
She said he'd slay all dragons, defeat the evil prince
She said he'd come to save me, swim through the stormy seas
I'd understand the story, it would be good for me
You never came to save me, you let me stand alone
Out in the wilderness, alone in the cold

My story end, as stories do
Reality steps into view
No longer living life in paradise
No fairy tales, yes

I don't look for pie up in the sky, baby
Need reality, now, said I
Don't feel the need to be pacified, don't cha try
Honey, I know you lied

You never came to save me, you let me stand alone
Out in the wilderness, alone in the cold
I found no magic potion, no horse with wings to fly
I found the poison apple, my destiny to die
No royal kiss could save me, no magic spell to spin
My fantasy is over, my life must now begin

My story end, as stories do
Reality steps into view
No longer living life in paradise
No fairy tales, hey, hey
Oh, Lord


WS him
BS me DD's 26, 25' DS 23
dd1 1-1-10, dd2 Mothers Day 2011, dd3 3-12-12 Hawaii trip with ho-worker...

Never forget what is worth remembering or remember what is best forgotten.
Unknown


Posts: 1141 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: La La Land
heartslammedshut
♀ New Member
Member # 38614
Default  Posted: 9:44 PM, March 29th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Bruno Mars When I was your man
Bob Seger The Famous Final Scene
Temptations I Wish It Would Rain
Bonnie Raitt I Can"t Make You Love Me
Wynonna Judd Is It Over Yet

I know they are old but they have been playing a lot on my iPod lately


Posts: 15 | Registered: Mar 2013
justinpaintoday
♂ Member
Member # 42858
Default  Posted: 9:50 PM, March 29th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

WORN by Tenth Avenue North says it all for me. Listen to it on youtube

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zulKcYItKIA


I never realized you could be in this much pain and not be dying.

Posts: 700 | Registered: Mar 2014
Smashedat58
♀ Member
Member # 41705
Default  Posted: 10:36 PM, March 29th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I find it very therapeutic to listen to some beautiul classical music like Scheherazade, by Nicolai Rimsky-Korsakov. The high pleadings of the violins, and the low sonorous horns tell a desperate story of adventure, by a slave to her king. It eventually becomes a love story. I know this is very different from the songs that have been listed, but there is wonderful emotion to the music, and it is great to grieve or cry to.

Posts: 166 | Registered: Dec 2013 | From: Upstate New York
Livingalie2014
♀ Member
Member # 42332
Default  Posted: 10:38 PM, March 29th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Listen by Beyonce
Because of You by Kelly Clarkson
Reflections by Christina Aguilera

Love these songs, but they make me sad.


In three words I can sum up everything I learned about life: It goes on - Robert Frost

Posts: 55 | Registered: Feb 2014 | From: Lost
Flourgirl
♀ Member
Member # 40937
Default  Posted: 1:31 AM, March 30th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

No One's Gonna Love You - Band of Horses kills me but I can't stop listening to it.

Look what You've Done - Jet

The Giving Tree - Plain White Trees

Jar of Hearts - Christina Perri

Breakeven - The Script

I Hate Myself For Loving You - Joan Jett

Lyin' Eyes- the Eagles

Both Sides Now - Joni Mitchell

and many more I have a playlist far too long to list.


BS me 39
WH him 40
Dd 7/1/13. TT 7/22/13
SAHM with 4 wonderful kids

Posts: 190 | Registered: Oct 2013 | From: Kansas City
thebighurt
♀ Member
Member # 34722
Default  Posted: 2:43 AM, March 30th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I once started crying when Journey's "Faithfully" came on the car radio and didn't stop for nearly a week. I knew it was time for ADs! Recently heard it and others that formerly triggered without a problem, even sang along and suddenly realized what the song was without a hiccup.

Now my song is "She let herself go" by George Strait. There are parts that don't apply, but basically, this is me. Here's a link to the words. You can also hear it on youtube.

http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/georgestrait/sheletherselfgo.html

Eta: "Let it go" is good too.

[This message edited by thebighurt at 2:44 AM, March 30th (Sunday)]


Finding what life could have been....... Why didn't I see it?

Posts: 2388 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: the Other Side
sisoon
♂ Member
Member # 31240
Default  Posted: 11:18 AM, March 30th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Heard this live last night. I've healed a lot - if it had been 2 years ago, I'd have thought of hara-kiri).

He Stopped Loving Her Today

Written by R. V. Braddock and C. Putman, Jr.

He said I'll love you 'til I die
She told him you'll forget in time
As the years went slowly by
She still preyed upon his mind

He kept her picture on his wall
Went half crazy now and then
He still loved her through it all
Hoping she'd come back again

Kept some letters by his bed
Dated 1962
He had underlined in red
Every single I love you

I went to see him just today
Oh but I didn't see no tears
All dressed up to go away
First time I'd seen him smile in years

(Chorus)
He stopped loving her today
They placed a wreath upon his door
And soon they'll carry him away
He stopped loving her today

(Spoken)
You know she came to see him one last time
Oh and we all wondered if she would
And it kept running through my mind
This time he's over her for good

(Repeat Chorus)


fBH (me) - 70 (22 in my head), fWW (plainsong) - 65+, Married 45+, together since 1965
DDay - 12/2010
Recovered, not yet fully R'ed
I share my own experience because it's the only experience I know, not because I'm a good model.

Posts: 10383 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: Chicago area
Afraid2LoveAgain
♀ Member
Member # 11185
Default  Posted: 4:54 PM, March 30th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm many years out but Matchbox Twenty's Mad Season album got me through it.

If You're Gone
Angry
Crutch
Rest Stop -- fantasized about doing this
Busted
Shame

I'm not sure what Rob Thomas had been going through but the songs were perfect.


BW -- 57
Divorced 2001
Re-married 2014--on what would have been our 35th anniversary

Posts: 427 | Registered: Jul 2006 | From: NC
brokensunflower
♀ Member
Member # 38674
Default  Posted: 5:43 PM, March 30th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Where would you be Martina McBride


me 33
him 32
6 wonderful kids 12 yrs 8 yrs 5 yrs 4 yrs and 2 yrs ..and new baby
married 10 years together for 12 yrs
working on R

my give a damn is busted


Posts: 225 | Registered: Mar 2013 | From: cold ohio
bigskyblues
♂ Member
Member # 36759
Default  Posted: 3:54 AM, March 31st (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My turning point to healing was realizing this wasn't my fault, my xww was broken. Then I was able to believe in me, I was a good husband (not perfect) and a great dad (not perfect). About that time I also found "Proud and Humble" by Imelda May.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kX030a0hrYc

I've listened to that song so many times over the last year and a half!

BSB

[This message edited by bigskyblues at 3:55 AM, March 31st (Monday)]


BH 50s
xWW 50s

Dday1 7-2012
Dday2 8-2012
Divorce 9-2012

4 kids all adults.

Married 22+ years.

I have moved on and life is good!


Posts: 261 | Registered: Sep 2012
scangel3
♀ Member
Member # 36164
Default  Posted: 1:18 AM, April 1st (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thanks for all the posts, I have quite a few new songs to add to my Playlists.

But I forgot one big song that breaks my heart...

Brian McKnight everything I do, I do it for you. That was our 1st dance song at our wedding, that song use to make me crumble in a good way, and then the A happened and that song is the biggest trigger song I have.

WS take such beautiful things from us and replace them with ugly nasty feelings that sit at your core, I just don't get it


BS-me 31, WH-31, M'd-10 years
DD 8.5, DS 6, DS 5.5
Dday 03/01/10 (our DD's bday)
A ended 08/31/10-09/02-10 (with multiple ddays in between).TT on 08/2012, 09/04/12, 11/16/2012, 01/2013, 6/25/2013 Says he wants R, but not proving it

Posts: 714 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: Portland
TheBestMe
♀ Member
Member # 39476
Default  Posted: 9:52 AM, April 1st (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

^^^^ this post reminds me of how much I CAN NOT STAND to hear our wedding song:

Here And Now Luther Vandross

"I promise to love faithfully....
Here and now I promise to be one with thee.
You're all I need"


ME Doing Better
WH Trying As Best He Can
Married 23 years
Status: Working towards friendship
D Day #1 - 2007 My gut told me
D Day #2 - 2010 His D told me
D Day #3 - 1/11/2013 OW Confirmed
LTA 7 years

Both feet pointed forward; positive


Posts: 451 | Registered: Jun 2013 | From: Inner Peace
betrayedhusband
♂ Member
Member # 38443
Default  Posted: 10:43 AM, April 1st (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I have listened to a bunch of Bruno Mars during this time.

"When I was your man" hurts a little, but I am her man again, so I can listen to it. Makes me think about how we "drifted: apart over the years.

"Gorilla" 'cause that's what our HB was like.

"Just the way you are" because that is how I have always felt about her...not just when she lost some weight and "he" noticed and complimented her.

"Grenade" because that is how I really feel when I think back over this. "I would do anything...but you won't do the same." Hopefully, that only addresses the period of the A and not our reality now.

I struggle with "Mr. Brightside" as covered by Paul Anka. I think it hits on my paranoia that since this happened once, it could happen again. I relate to lyrics, mind movies, etc.

I really pay more attention to lyrics now than I ever did. Which now makes me despise "Escape (If you like pina coladas)". I don't care that it has a happy ending...its an awful premise!


Me BS 48
Her fWW 47
Married 24 yrs
Together 30 yrs
DDay 16 Jan 2013
EA 9 months & PA 1 month
Children 2 young adults
Working through it
"Character is what you are when no one is watching"

Posts: 154 | Registered: Feb 2013
selfrespect911
♀ Member
Member # 42746
Default  Posted: 10:59 AM, April 1st (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Resentment
No Angel
I Care
Listen
Ring the Alarm
Borken Hearted Girl
Scared of Lonely
Why Don't You Love Me
Smash Into You
It I Were a Boy
Me, Myself, and I
Best Thing I Never Had

-- all by Beyonce. Girl gets me through.

What Now
Take a Bow
California King Bed
Complicated

-- all Rihanna.

I Will Wait
Holland Road
Ghosts That We Knew
Lovers' Eyes
Hopeless Wanderer
Below My Feet
After the Storm
The Cave
I Gave You All
Little Lion Man
White Blank Page

-- all Mumford & Sons

Let It Go
Do You Wanna Build a Snowman?
For the First Time in Forever (Reprise)

-- Frozen Soundtrack

All I Wanted
For a Pessimist I'm Pretty Optimistic
Misery Business

-- Paramore

Cry Me a River
What Goes Around...
Mirrors

-- Justin Timberlake

Try
Just Give Me a Reason

-- P!NK

Wrecking Ball, by Miley Cyrus
Staying Alive, by Cursive
Seventy Times 7, by Brand New
Terrible Lie, by Nine Inch Nails
Cat and Mouse, The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus

Dig, by Incubus on those rare occasions I pity him.

[This message edited by selfrespect911 at 10:59 AM, April 1st (Tuesday)]


BS 26
WH 32
Nov-?? A with his Ex

EA DDay: 31 Jan, I moved to in-laws
PA DDAY: 23 Feb
DDay 3: 13 May. Back in A.

9 Mar: I moved back. A went underground.
9 Apr: He moved into parents.
14 Apr: Me NC with WH.


Posts: 148 | Registered: Mar 2014 | From: UK
Lucky2HaveMe
♀ Member
Member # 13333
Default  Posted: 1:00 PM, April 1st (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Even being fully R'd, I find strength in the song
"Stay" by Sugarland. I KNOW - after this journey - I am strong and can survive almost anything.

I love how she starts out begging him to stay with her... and at the end she's all like stay with her, I don't want you anymore

"Stay"

I've been sitting here staring at the clock on the wall
And I've been laying here praying, praying she won't call
It's just another call from home
And you'll get it and be gone
And I'll be crying

And I'll be begging you, baby
Beg you not to leave
But I'll be left here waiting
With my Heart on my sleeve
Oh, for the next time we'll be here
Seems like a million years
And I think I'm dying

What do I have to do to make you see
She can't love you like me?

Why don't you stay
I'm down on my knees
I'm so tired of being lonely
Don't I give you what you need
When she calls you to go
There is one thing you should know
We don't have to live this way
Baby, why don't you stay

You keep telling me, baby
There will come a time
When you will leave her arms
And forever be in mine
But I don't think that's the truth
And I don't like being used and I'm tired of waiting
It's too much pain to have to bear
To love a man you have to share

Why don't you stay
I'm down on my knees
I'm so tired of being lonely
Don't I give you what you need
When she calls you to go
There is one thing you should know
We don't have to live this way
Baby, why don't you stay

I can't take it any longer
But my will is getting stronger
And I think I know just what I have to do
I can't waste another minute
After all that I've put in it
I've given you my best
Why does she get the best of you
So next time you find you wanna leave her bed for mine

Why don't you stay
I'm up off my knees
I'm so tired of being lonely
You can't give me what I need
When she begs you not to go
There is one thing you should know
I don't have to live this way
Baby, why don't you stay, yeah


Indian wisdom says our lives are rivers. We are born somewhere small and quiet and we move toward a place we cannot see, but only imagine. From Tending Roses

Posts: 6568 | Registered: Jan 2007 | From: WNY
Topic Posts: 38
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