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User Topic: Parenthood (TV show)
Wodnships
Member
Member # 42750
Default  Posted: 9:58 AM, March 29th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Does anyone else watch it? The show has explored infidelity in a number of different ways. At times it can be a little soap operay. But my WW and I watch it because it always fuels great discussions about child raising and life.

This season one of the characters has an emotional affair. When her husband finds out he walks. She refuses to call it an affair and minimizes in a way that is pretty annoying.

Anyway the reason I'm writing this is that my wife's EA was right in the middle of this season. Pre affair my wife would defend this character. Say things like "it wasn't REAL affair" and "He's over reacting." Post affair my wife now sees what the character did as wrong. Although she still thinks the husband should be giving some sort of effort to save his marriage.

This makes me wonder if I should have drug her into counseling the first day she defended what this woman was doing. Anyway I'm just curious if others have seen such shift it world view form your spouse.


me: BH 35
Her: WW 28

Married 4 years. Dating 8. Living together 7.

If a man took his time on earth
to prove be for he died
what on man's life could be worth
I wonder what would happen to the world

- Harry Chapin


Posts: 485 | Registered: Mar 2014 | From: California
2oldforthis
♀ Member
Member # 19825
Default  Posted: 10:56 AM, March 29th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I do watch the show, however I have not been able to see all the shows this season. Also I kind of don't care if I do because of this topic. I did see it this week and I don't like how the story line is going. OK, so the husband is hurt and angry I can understand that and he says it is over. So the very end of the show they have her going back to the other guy. Like ok I hurt my husband he says it is over I have another man waiting for me.

I think a EA or PA takes some working thru which is time to sort out your emotions. Emotions on both parts.


He did not see what he had in me, what I saw in him I did not have!

Love kills slowly.


Posts: 1645 | Registered: Jun 2008
Wodnships
Member
Member # 42750
Default  Posted: 1:14 PM, March 29th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

If you listen to his speech closely he doesn't say it's over. He says that he doesn't know what he wants "right now" and that if she kept pushing for an answer right this second then the answers was no. But he never said he wasn't willing to reconcile in the future.

I really hate how she hasn't taken a second to own the affair. It's all about "Why aren't you fighting for me." Never an I'm sorry.

Anyway I just found it an interesting indicator of my wife's mental state pre affair and post affair.


me: BH 35
Her: WW 28

Married 4 years. Dating 8. Living together 7.

If a man took his time on earth
to prove be for he died
what on man's life could be worth
I wonder what would happen to the world

- Harry Chapin


Posts: 485 | Registered: Mar 2014 | From: California
SoOver96
♀ Member
Member # 40169
Default  Posted: 5:13 PM, March 29th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm only on season 2 of parenthood on netflixs but when the mom kicked the dad out It was a good thing I believe because the dad realized that she was a person with feelings and not an object living in their house.

Posts: 171 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: Illinois
heartslammedshut
♀ New Member
Member # 38614
Default  Posted: 9:29 PM, March 29th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

i used to love this show. This season however is very hard to watch due to the EA storyline. I don't think I am going to watch the next episode though. I have a real issue with how the wife character goes right back to her emotional crush even though it "meant nothing". I think this is a very real fear of many of us. I know for myself I often wonder if I said I had enough would he go right back to the woman who "meant nothing". I just hate how affairs are glamorized and the fallout is minimized.

Posts: 15 | Registered: Mar 2013
Flourgirl
♀ Member
Member # 40937
Default  Posted: 1:11 AM, March 30th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I torture myself with this show. My nephew has aspergers, my brother in law got cancer just as the wife got diagnosed, and now the affair. I should just stop watching. Surprisingly the thing about last week that hurt the most was the bullying, the pee in the canteen. My nephew was bullied ruthlessly. He graduated 3 years ago and still tells me stories of his bully. I wish ill on this kid. He was kicked off one football team and lost his scholarship for bad attitude. A smaller school picked him up the next semester. I want his whole life to suck for what he did to my nephew. Wow I need to work on forgiveness. Anyway yes I watch the show. By the way my BIL was cancer free last month!


BS me 39
WH him 40
Dd 7/1/13. TT 7/22/13
SAHM with 4 wonderful kids

Posts: 189 | Registered: Oct 2013 | From: Kansas City
Wodnships
Member
Member # 42750
Default  Posted: 10:27 AM, March 30th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I just hate how affairs are glamorized and the fallout is minimized.

I don't think this show is doing that at all. The children are devastated and depressed. It's obvious that neither the WS or BS is at all happy with the situation. They have even gone as far as to show the awkwardness and fall out as it extends to the extended family.

The only negative I can say about this show is they make it easy to identify with the BS because at the end of the day the show is about her family. We see more of her. But I would hope that this last episode put things in prospective for even those who don't get it.


me: BH 35
Her: WW 28

Married 4 years. Dating 8. Living together 7.

If a man took his time on earth
to prove be for he died
what on man's life could be worth
I wonder what would happen to the world

- Harry Chapin


Posts: 485 | Registered: Mar 2014 | From: California
bionicgal
♀ Member
Member # 39803
Default  Posted: 10:32 AM, March 30th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Didn't the H have an almost-affair last season with someone he was doing a project for? I didn't follow it, but I remember lots of sexual tension and questions. I actually think this is an interesting exploration into EAs and hopefully the character will have an "ah-ha" moment before the end of the season. My guess is she starts the EA up again, meets up with the guy and realizes she "can't do it", has a lightbulb moment that she has been wrong all along, and she and H have tearful reunion.

Also, the Peter Krause character had a near-affair a few seasons back as well, and his brother cheated on his wife before they got married. Even the grandma almost had an affair with her art instructor a few seasons back.

I guess infidelity makes good drama!

[This message edited by bionicgal at 10:33 AM, March 30th (Sunday)]


me - BS (40s)
DDay - June 2013, A was 2+ months, EA then PA
In MC & Reconciling
An affair is more like a mental break than a relationship.

I edit, therefore I am.


Posts: 1957 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: USA
Wodnships
Member
Member # 42750
Default  Posted: 10:37 AM, March 30th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

And the Grandfather had an affair way back at season 2.

The husband in question hasn't really done anything. They make it look like he's on the verge of an affair with his boss all the time, but nothing has really happened. He did have a dinner with her when he was separated and their hands touched as they both reached for the bill. The commercials make it look like more then it is to get the viewers to tune in.


me: BH 35
Her: WW 28

Married 4 years. Dating 8. Living together 7.

If a man took his time on earth
to prove be for he died
what on man's life could be worth
I wonder what would happen to the world

- Harry Chapin


Posts: 485 | Registered: Mar 2014 | From: California
hopefulmother
♀ Member
Member # 38790
Default  Posted: 5:41 PM, March 31st (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I am a betrayed spouse....but I do remember that the father had an emotional connection with his contract boss last season (that his wife picked up on). In addition he behaved inappropriately with that boss, too friendly, staying out late, too flirtatious at dinners. He also withdrew from his family and sent less time with them due to his job and being with the contractor boss. (Not that-it excuses her having the texting A with that guy).

As far as I am concerned...they both had EA's. His first last season. He was already looking for excuses to fry his wife, in order to justify the guilt he felt for the attraction to his boss. She (his wife) needs to wake up and stop all contact with that parent. He needs to stop acting like he is Holy do no wrong. His behavior last season and this season with the contract boss crossed the line too.

I think the wife is just hurt that there was so little to the texting, that she can't believe her H would just give up so easily. She really portrayed her character as not having any feelings for the parent (just a friend giving support to him)until her H pushed her out of his life.


Me-BW 39
WH-39
D-day 9-4-12
Major TT 8-14
Friends for 20yrs dating since 2000
Married 9yrs with 2 toddlers
My wedding band is a symbol of hope, forgiveness, love, and grace.

Posts: 933 | Registered: Mar 2013 | From: PA
Lucky2HaveMe
♀ Member
Member # 13333
Default  Posted: 7:42 PM, March 31st (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I think the wife is just hurt that there was so little to the texting, that she can't believe her H would just give up so easily. She really portrayed her character as not having any feelings for the parent (just a friend giving support to him)until her H pushed her out of his life.

There was a lot more than texting. They spent a lot of time together. She took the kids over to his place for dinner. It was a full blown EA with a kiss.

I think HE was on a slippery slope, but never acted on it. Perhaps he should have taken that "sexual tension" between Pete & himself as a cue to have a heart-to-heart with his wife.

I have watched this show since the beginning. I really like it. I think the story lines are very realistic, and this A drama is no exception. I think she is in the proverbial *fog* and he is a BS that is lost and confused... and I fear he is on the way to a revenge A. It's going to get messy for sure.


Indian wisdom says our lives are rivers. We are born somewhere small and quiet and we move toward a place we cannot see, but only imagine. From Tending Roses

Posts: 6390 | Registered: Jan 2007 | From: WNY
Wodnships
Member
Member # 42750
Default  Posted: 9:33 AM, April 1st (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I think HE was on a slippery slope, but never acted on it. Perhaps he should have taken that "sexual tension" between Pete & himself as a cue to have a heart-to-heart with his wife.


I can somewhat agree with this, (even if he wasn't on a slippery slope before he clearly is now) but the people who say he had an affair I have a hard time with that. He spent a lot of time out late at business meetings and often times they would finish up over dinner, but this isn't uncommon for late night work. He would have done the same with a male architect. I never saw anything about these meetings that were anything but professional. They never seemed overly familiar to me. I have more of a personal relationship with my boss at work then those two had and my boss is a guy.

Now, you might not want a relationship where your husband has that many late night meetings or is away that much. Admittedly it was really bad timing with what their adopted son went through. But Joel pointed out the Julia many times that when she was working as an attorney he did nothing but support her.

I think the one issue with this part of the show is that it is a Bravormen show. So, when Julia got concerned with him and Pete we see a lot more through her eyes then through Joel's. I think the last episode we finally got to see what Joel was going through. He had a great monologue where he starts listing everything Julia did with the other guy and we find out *spoiler that his father cheated on his mother *spoiler.

All that being said I do agree that Joel's reaction doesn't fit the crime, but then again after my wife's EA she instantly went NC and has really been putting in work on her self, so I was never really in Joel's position. My wife only tried to minimize the affair once, I called her out on it and she backed off and has accepted responsibility since. Julia won't even admit that she kissed the other guy back, which we clearly saw.


me: BH 35
Her: WW 28

Married 4 years. Dating 8. Living together 7.

If a man took his time on earth
to prove be for he died
what on man's life could be worth
I wonder what would happen to the world

- Harry Chapin


Posts: 485 | Registered: Mar 2014 | From: California
redrock
♀ Member
Member # 21538
Default  Posted: 11:53 AM, April 1st (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

All that being said I do agree that Joel's reaction doesn't fit the crime

I would be a heck of a lot more sympathetic to Joel if he didn't do the same thing with a mother of Sydney's playmate in an earlier season. She kissed him blah, blah, blah. He gave a really passionate speech in one episode where he told Julia he would NEVER cheat on her. Umm.. didn't he already kiss someone when he said this? How about a little perspective--- from both of them?

Granted I do not think they were emotional entangled, but he his self righteous outrage is over the top for a the guy who was yucking it up in the trailer pushing all kinds of boundaries with his boss, when his family is falling apart at home. Julia sure makes it easy for him to cast himself in the role of victim by being a a HUGE drama queen!!!

He was a SAHD for Syndey's early life. That deserves respect and admiration. However, I do think that Julia was completely unprepared to parent two school aged children whilst dealing with learning disabilities, incorporating a brother into a family with an only child, losing her work outlets etc... that a pretty big load for the partner not used to doing the majority of the childrearing. Add in the complete turn around of her husband from being the A+ partner/helper to whoever the heck he is now. A resentful asshole who ran away within a year of making a lifetime commitment to his new 'son'- is pretty low, IMO, no matter how much a bitch he thinks his wife has become.

In no way does his crap excuse Julia. She has been selfish and needy and downright unattractive. She has blame shifted and had difficulty facing responsibility. Her Affair is just that and she needs to face up to it.

They both need to grow the hell up. This show used to touch me and bring me to tears. Now I can't believe the lengths they will go and the integrity bending they will perform in order to wring out a storyline. It is beyond the yuck.

Why do I watch it? idk, it fills the gap till Game comes back I guess..

[This message edited by redrock at 11:59 AM, April 1st (Tuesday)]


I don't respect anyone that can't spell a word more than one way:)

Posts: 3156 | Registered: Nov 2008 | From: Michigan
Topic Posts: 13

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