Cheating Hurt by Infidelity
Betrayal Wayward Donations lying
Welcome

Forums

Guidelines

Find a Local Counselor

The Healing Library

Media

Contact Us
lies
cover
In Association with Amazon.com
Support
Infidelity -
-
like us on facebook
You are not logged in. Login here or register.
[Register]
Newest Member: steamingpile (44723)

Reconciliation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: It is strange what happens sometimes...
Katz13
♀ Member
Member # 41886
Default  Posted: 10:52 PM, March 29th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Just wanted to share....things with WH have been well lately. Spent the day at a school event for my son all together like a happy family. Being busy like this kept the A thoughts away. I still have trouble sleeping and usually read novels to fall asleep. Well the night of the A's discovery, I went to the living room to read in the middle of the night. Before I could get comfy with my book, I heard my H's phone buzz that a text came in. I picked up the phone since I was suspicious and that's when my world blew up. Ever since that day I cannot pick up a novel without triggering. So to be safe from romance etc. I started reading some of my 9 year old's books. I have read my share of dragon stories, Diary of a Wimpy Kid etc. The last few nights I've been reading The Mostly True Adventures of Homer P. Figg and this is the last chapter of the book:
I think in some ways it's like that for all of us, living with the ghosts of things that used to be, or never were. We're all of us haunted by yesterday, and we got no choice but to keep marching into our tomorrows. Keep marching boys and girls. Keep marching.


Posts: 84 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: USA
Jrazz
♀ Guide
Member # 31349
Default  Posted: 11:41 PM, March 29th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Good words of wisdom. Kids' books are a "happy place" go-to for me sometimes too.

(((Katz13)))


It is better to be slapped with the truth than kissed with a lie. -Russian Proverb

Posts: 17066 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: California
justme1264
♂ Member
Member # 42890
Default  Posted: 6:35 AM, March 30th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thank you for this. My WW and I are not in R but I am absolutely loving the things I find here like this post. It is amazing how much the entirety of the experiences of each person's A adds a little more to my healing.

Truly, thank you for this and my thoughts are with you as you work through your R.


Me: BH 32
D will be final Nov 2014

Posts: 274 | Registered: Mar 2014 | From: justme1264
Neverwudaguessed
♀ Member
Member # 41884
Default  Posted: 7:32 AM, March 30th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Oh, "ghosts of things that never were" really describes my own situation, since along with current affair, I found out about a 1st affair, 12 years ago…
We're all of us haunted by yesterday, and we got no choice but to keep marching into our tomorrows. Keep marching boys and girls. Keep marching.

Thank you for that; Sometimes we need a little reminder to keep putting one foot in front of the other.


BW: 44 Me
WH:48
DDay1 9-9-13 (18th Wedding Anniversary) 6 wk EA, 1 wk PA
DDay2: 10-25-13 EA/PA with same OW 12 1/2 years ago for 3 months
OW: XGF Predator who never stopped pursuing WH
DS 13
DD 11

Posts: 468 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: New York
Kelany
♀ Member
Member # 34755
Default  Posted: 7:57 AM, March 30th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I don't read for myself much anymore either.

However this year I started teaching literature and history in our homeschool co-op for highschool aged kids.

I've read Frankenstein, 20,000 Leagues, several short stories, Phantom of the Opera, Robinson Crusoe.

History we've delved into the constitution, industrial revolution, WWII, Greek mythology.

Keeps me busy.


BS - Me
SA/FWH Him
DDay 1 - Jul 11
DDay 2 - Jul 12
R Dec 12

Former 80s Icon wishful thinking


Posts: 2031 | Registered: Feb 2012
sisoon
♂ Member
Member # 31240
Default  Posted: 10:18 AM, March 30th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Greek mythology - and you didn't trigger?


fBH (me) - 70 (22 in my head), fWW (plainsong) - 65+, Married 45+, together since 1965
DDay - 12/2010
Recovered, not yet fully R'ed
I share my own experience because it's the only experience I know, not because I'm a good model.

Posts: 9991 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: Chicago area
bionicgal
♀ Member
Member # 39803
Default  Posted: 10:24 AM, March 30th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

We're all of us haunted by yesterday, and we got no choice but to keep marching into our tomorrows.

So true -- I think of the A and the AP for at least a few minutes hourly -- not every minute like I did before, but all the time. My H maintains that he rarely thinks of it, except when I bring it up. For him, it was a terrible place that he got into by mistake, got stuck in, and is glad to be the hell out of. I am the one haunted.

It stinks, sometimes, but I am hopeful that as time passes I will feel less so. (Coming into my first "affair season," so that compounds the issue.)


me - BS (40s)
DDay - June 2013, A was 2+ months, EA then PA
In MC & Reconciling
An affair is more like a mental break than a relationship.

I edit, therefore I am.


Posts: 1887 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: USA
Crushed15Feb13
♂ Member
Member # 38846
Default  Posted: 10:26 AM, March 30th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I starting reading some of my W's favorite books from her childhood - I really enjoyed "Harriet the Spy", and plan to start "Wrinkle in Time" next.

I just wanted to feel more in touch with the person she was well before the A. Its part of her too.


Me: BH, 54
Her: WW, 54 4 yr LTA
Married 31 yrs, 2 college age boys
DDay #1: 15Feb13 - LTA 2008-2013
DDay #2: 27Jan14 - ONS, same AP 2007 - turns out it was a 5 yr LTA
Trying to understand

Posts: 226 | Registered: Mar 2013
hpv50
♀ Member
Member # 39703
Default  Posted: 5:00 PM, March 30th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Great idea! I find that reading books my kids are reading helps me connect with them, too.


Me: BS - 50; Him: WH - 51, vulnerable NPD
married 19 years, maybe 20th soon?
DD1 4/22/13 (hpv diagnosis)
DD2 5/9/13 (gaslighting begins)
DD3 6/30/13 (admits EA)
DD4 7/7/13 admits "trying to date other women" for 3 years

Posts: 129 | Registered: Jun 2013
karmahappens
♀ Member
Member # 35846
Default  Posted: 10:53 AM, March 31st (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I stopped reading after dday. I just didn't have the concentration. I swear the A brought out some kind of ADD for me...

I do now enjoy kids movies more than I ever have...easy and innocent...


“And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom”
Anaïs Nin
Me: 45
Him: 47
Dday 8/2007
We have R'd

Posts: 3793 | Registered: Jun 2012 | From: Massachusetts
Topic Posts: 10

Return to Forum: Reconciliation Post Reply to this Topic
adultry
Go to :
madness  
© 2002 - 2014 SurvivingInfidelity.com. All Rights Reserved.