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Reconciliation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Dreading next weekend
olwen
♀ Member
Member # 39759
Default  Posted: 10:43 AM, March 30th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hi all,

This is my second post today. The first was lovely and this one not so much so I wanted to separate them.

Friday marks the antiversary of h bringing ow home 'for me to meet'.

He was trying to get her to see who they were hurting so she would agree to break off the A. It was a last ditch attempt on his part as she wouldn't listen to him when he tried to end it.

So, they were still working together, he was still trying to keep her happy so she wouldn't tell me about the A, but at the same time trying to cool it with her and bring me into their conversations more so she would hopefully back off.

Well, it backfired on him because when he showed her photos of the nail art I was doing she took my number and asked if I would do her nails. Of course I was happy to have a guinea pig to practice on, I had no clue anything was going on.

Apparently H tried to stop her but she kept saying there was no harm, that they were 'just friends' again and I needn't know anything.

So he gave in. He never could stand up to her.

I have social phobia and as very bad around new people so he brought her home after work to meet me on the Friday and the nails were planned for the Saturday.

I have never seen him so uncomfortable around anyone. We actually hit it off on the Friday and the next day she was really happy with her nails but she was acting so strange and saying odd things about herself and also about mine and h's relationship. She seemed to know everything about us (of course!) and thoroughly enjoyed telling me how she uses men for what she can get out of them and all sorts of bizarre stuff. We couldn't get rid of her but eventually she got the hint and stormed out in a temper.

That was when I realised something had gone on and confronted H. Over the next few days I got tt, then more tt until he confessed sex two months later. But that day was the start of me realising he was cheating.

Right, to the point now. H's parents are crazy about out local football team and so is DS. Since the A H has taken him to a few games to spend more time with him, and his parents. All good.

The problem is his parents have just got tickets to a game....for Saturday!

H didn't realise the date but immediately offered to change the tickets for another game. I don't want him to do this as DS is excited and his parents will wonder why. They know about the A and have been supportive of me (mostly, we have a fraught relationship) but MIL advice is to look forward not back. So I don't feel comfortable with him changing tickets.

I only have to get through a few hours on my own (I can't go to the game) but those few hours are when she was here.

I see her all over my house at the best of times but this was the day I held her hands as I painted her nails, I saw her flirting with H, I saw his deer in the headlight responses to her, she told me her life story and all her problems.

I felt such a fool and so angry with H for bringing her here.

Does anyone else have any other tips on getting through the day and the memories? I don't want to spoil ds's day at the football and it is father/son/grandparents day together. I don't want them to cancel or postpone that. It's not like he is going to a bar somewhere, it's just a few hours in the afternoon with his family.

I am stuck in the house without H as I have an anxiety disorder. My best friend already has plans for that afternoon so I need to keep busy or do something to exorcise her memory.I have decided to do some batch cooking that day to keep my mind off her as much as I can.

Does anyone have anymore ideas?


Together 18yrs
me BS 36
him WS 41 (silent lucidity)
ea 1 facebook flirting with an ex 2011
ea/pa - co worker 6wks feb to apr pa for 1 wk with sex one time
too much tt to count = final confession of sex 16th june 2013

Posts: 577 | Registered: Jul 2013
Lowlow
♀ Member
Member # 38653
Default  Posted: 2:16 PM, March 30th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Listen to some music that makes you happy or calm. Have a nice bath. Burn some incense. I guess do something nice for yourself

Or talk to a good friend on the phone. None of my friends or family know of the A but hearing their voices and not talking about "it" with them has always been cathartic for me


Me (BS) 42 Him (FWS) 43
AP#2 (LTA EA/PA) DD #1 16 Feb 2013
AP#1 (EA with my BF) DD #2 16 Nov 2013
Married 11 years, T 19 years
Reconciling

Posts: 198 | Registered: Mar 2013
Alexisk17
♀ Member
Member # 39566
Default  Posted: 2:49 PM, March 30th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

No ideas really, just wanted to say that I'm sorry. Yesterday was antiversary of our Dday, I have been dreading this day for months. Keep busy but give yourself permission to be sad/ angry/ upset etc. for a while if you feel that would help. There is no reason to hold it all together, especially if you are alone. Run a hot bath, drink some wine and cry... Then once your done get dressed and go about your day.


BS (me) - 27
WH - 28
2 sons (born 2010 & 2013)
Married: 2009
Dday: March 2013
R: May 2013 - MC and IC

Posts: 87 | Registered: Jun 2013 | From: Canada
Kelany
♀ Member
Member # 34755
Default  Posted: 7:55 PM, March 30th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Take the time to cleanse your home of negative energy.


BS - Me
SA/FWH Him
DDay 1 - Jul 11
DDay 2 - Jul 12
R Dec 12

Former 80s Icon wishful thinking


Posts: 2031 | Registered: Feb 2012
olwen
♀ Member
Member # 39759
Default  Posted: 2:30 AM, March 31st (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thanks everyone, some really good ideas there. Can't believe it never occurred to me to just let myself be sad. I spend so much time trying not to be but it might be just what I need.


Together 18yrs
me BS 36
him WS 41 (silent lucidity)
ea 1 facebook flirting with an ex 2011
ea/pa - co worker 6wks feb to apr pa for 1 wk with sex one time
too much tt to count = final confession of sex 16th june 2013

Posts: 577 | Registered: Jul 2013
Topic Posts: 5

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