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Newest Member: JRconfused (45363)

Divorce/Separation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Custody advice
hopefulfourus
♀ Member
Member # 25204
Default  Posted: 6:11 PM, April 1st (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I am seriously considering going for full residential custody with Every other weekend for him. However based upon the ages of my kids, and the activities, sports, being able to see their friends and the possibility of one getting a job soon, I was wondering if there could be language in the agreement that they could have an option whether to go for the EOW or not., considering if they have something going on.

POS has never really been involved with the kids. I pretty much have been doing everything. Taking both kids to their practices/games, school, and other events. He has been increasingly not coming home at night. In fact last week, he was home 2 nights. When he is home, there is little going on between the kids and him. He cannot even offer to take one for practice driving while he is home, or attend their practices/games. Additionally, when he is not around he doesn't really call the kids.

I'm not trying to keep my kids away from him however they should also not be forced to do something that they may not want to do.

Thanks for listening.


Me: BW. 40's
Him: WH POS. 40's
2 kids. DD16, DS14

Don't let my user name fool you...I am NOT hopeful for us at ALL!!


Posts: 62 | Registered: Aug 2009 | From: New York
Must Survive
♀ Member
Member # 34533
Default  Posted: 7:13 PM, April 1st (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I would think at your kids age, that the courts would allow them to have a say in what they want. My DS was 14 when this cra* started, and he gets to chose what he wants to do. I share legal custody but have full physical custody with the understanding DS can be with is father when he wants. He does not spend any nights with him, and it works out to about every other week they have lunch. For the first year, he wouldn't even see him.

Support your kids if they want a relationship with their father. But let them decide.


Me BS
WS: Just a squished bug on the window of my life!
Divorcing, STBXH is engaged/living with OW#3

They have a choice: they can live in my new world, or they can die in their old one." Daenerys Targaryen


Posts: 785 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: Must Survive
Destroyed121813
♀ New Member
Member # 42657
Default  Posted: 7:29 PM, April 1st (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I am not sure where you live, but I just went through this with my lawyer on my separation agreement. Essentially, he said that there is no set plan and that whatever you both can agree to will work. If you can't agree then it will go to court.

At a minimum, he said I could expect the kids to be with their dad every other weekend and Wednesday evenings as that is the basic expected custody agreement. (This just happens to be what we agreed to.) He also said that if the kids have activities those evenings that the STBXH would be expected to take them as my son has tutoring on Wednesdays.

It sounds like your WH wouldn't put up much of a fight if you went that route. Also, my lawyer said that if the kids were teenagers that they would be able to tell the judge how often and how they would want to see their father.

Not sure if that helps, but it cost me $350 p/hour so I thought I would share and maybe save you some money.

[This message edited by Destroyed121813 at 7:30 PM, April 1st, 2014 (Tuesday)]


Married 11yrs, known 12
DDay 12/18/13
BW 42
WS 42 (SA with what can only be described as NPD)
2 great kids - Both 10

Posts: 40 | Registered: Mar 2014
scarednbroken
♀ Member
Member # 41961
Default  Posted: 9:37 PM, April 1st (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

What I was told was that you have to balance the visitation with child support. If it is too many days with dad then he may get cs waived! Problem is it isn't guaranteed that he will actually buy what kids need while there (clothes, etc). So you would be left with major burden. Inwoukd look into a clause in that case making sure all expenses are shared and receipted.

In your case you ask about kids not wanting visitation. In my state it is compulsory. Kids must go if non custodial parent wants them to. BUT if non custodial parent is not required to exercise their visitation.

I would research your state laws. Go for a free consultation (even is you have a lawyer). I gt all the information here in a free consult with a lawyer I have no hope of affording.


BS: Me 44 WH: 50 Kids: 13, 15, 17, 28 DD: every yr Ow: tons Status: fed-up. A woman should never invest in a relationship she wouldn't want for her daughter, nor should she allow any man to treat her in a way she would scold her son for

Posts: 417 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: Midwest
Topic Posts: 4

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