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I have to admit that I have been a social media stalker. On another thread, I admitted to doing so in the hopes of seeing that the Karma bus has run her a$$ over.

Please remember, AP told me that she had always known about me. It is her boldness and lack of humanity that I find so so so... I realize that in circumstances like this I have to work even harder to be the person that I claim to be. The struggle to be that person is getting easier. Yes, she technically had the last word. Through this forum I have learned that my silence, crickets is my FINAL word. The manner in which I choose to live my life speaks for itself.

However, last night while watching the news and hearing of a shooting death, even before the anchor gave the location, I hoped it was the AP. The shooting was in another part of the country.

Each day I live the damage of the A. Every moment my H is reminded of the A. The stress of his double life may have played a role in exasperating his cancer.

I truly believe that the universe provides balance. We are told that you reap what you sow, there is yin and yang and good overcomes evil.

I was brought up in the Christian view that "you do not call down evil on others". But, there are times when that little devil TheBestMe can't help but whisper in my ear "you know that you want something really bad to happen to that beotch".

Does anyone else ever get those thoughts?

Is the state referred to as "indifference" when these thoughts subside and disappear?

Oh, light bulb moment!!! Hold the presses. If something bad happens to her, then the police will come knocking on my door. The "man" is usually the first suspect. In AP case, it's my H.

Too bad, H would have to deal with that too as part of the A consequence. But, that would be another exponent of embarrassment for me.

Does anyone else ever get those thoughts?

Yes, I did. Over the years (it's been seven years) I have reached a point of indifference. But honestly, if something happened to her, I would shed no tears.

I felt guilty for feeling this too, but we are human. Good people want to follow the "turn the other cheek; love your enemies" mantra, but sometimes the anger rears its ugly head. Please don't beat yourself up about it.

It is her boldness and lack of humanity that I find so so so... I realize that in circumstances like this I have to work even harder to be the person that I claim to be.

Same here. So, so, so...INHUMAN. It is hard to wrap our heads around their way of thinking. I stopped trying.

Oh, not a 2x4, but a helpful bit of advice. I stopped looking at her social media sites. It has helped tremendously.

Hugs...

"you know that you want something really bad to happen to that beotch".

I hope something horrible happens to her EVERY SINGLE MOMENT OF EVERY SINGLE DAY.

I will until her death.

I wouldn't cry any tears either. I totally messed up the OW's life after I found out. She had used our friendship and the secrets I had shared with her to turn my WH against me ( and she made up a lot of extra things).

So, I used the things I knew to mess up her life too.

I am a Christian too, and I know that God says he will take care of the revenge, but after DDAY, I didn't care.

I feel super guilty about it, but I think it made her go away. At first she was still calling my WH cell every few minutes even though he went NC.

But then I called her H and told him. He filed and won custody of their much adored 2 yo. son. Only getting to see him every other weekend almost killed her. She was overcome with grief and blamed herself ( as she should). I also made her lose her job, and move out of my town, but those are minor compared to losing custody.

But if she got run over by a bus, I wouldn't care. She wanted to destroy my life. She plotted and planned to call CPS and say I was an unfit mother so my WH and her could have custody and get married and leave me out in the cold alone. She convinced my WH that I never loved him.

Yes, her lack of humanity that is the kicker. And her boldness! What is it with these OW? She sat next to us at church! And she thought God was ok with her? I gave her money so she could buy her kids Christmas presents, and she made my WH divinity ( his favorite) to show him that he would have a better life with her.

I stalk social media too. I know she is not happy, and I honestly hope she never is happy again. I hope she dies a lonely old woman.

But then I called her H and told him. He filed and won custody of their much adored 2 yo. son. Only getting to see him every other weekend almost killed her. She was overcome with grief and blamed herself ( as she should). I also made her lose her job, and move out of my town, but those are minor compared to losing custody.

I am envious! Good for you!

Yep wish only bad things for her.

She thinks she did nothing wrong, so I really want Karma to slap her in the face.

When they have been in your home and you then find out what was going on literally under your nose, I think you are entitled to some payback.

I wish I could shove the presents he gave her where the sun don't shine

Yes, I want harm to come to AP and I don't feel bad about it at all. I think that is natural and human. Every time there is a motorcycle accident I hope it is OW. I hope OW dies alone and horribly in its home and nobody finds OW for weeks. Its dogs wind up eating OW because they had no food.

OW started moving in on my FWH when I was extremely ill with cancer. OW didn't just wish me harm, it wanted me dead. I am returning the wish to OW.

eta: I am not obsessed with these thoughts. I do have them, but usually from a trigger. The triggers come less and further apart in frequency. It has been four years since d-day. It takes warning: dirty four letter word coming time. It takes a long time to process all this hurt, pain, betrayal, anger that has been thrust upon us. Be kind and gentle with yourself. (((Best)))

[This message edited by SisterMilkshake at 11:08 AM, April 2nd (Wednesday)]

She plotted and planned to call CPS and say I was an unfit mother so my WH and her could have custody

Anyone that would do this, deserves the karma she was dealt..

I wish great harm on OW. WH asked the other day if I hated OW. I said yes. I told him if she was on fire I would not stop to pee on her. If she was choking, I'd just walk right by. Whenever there is a fatal accident, I hope it is her.

Hate her, oh yes. She is a non person to me. I hope she dies alone and in great pain. I hope her children find out what kind of woman she is. I hope both of her XH's are happy. I hope she leaves me and mine alone.

Would I intentionally hurt her? I don't think so, but the opportunity has not come up, yet.

[This message edited by 3kids30years at 3:25 PM, April 2nd (Wednesday)]

The OW had three outcomes in mind when she participated in the A. A stable good man to father her child, my life including my home and friends, and an executive position.

Here is what I hope her fate will be: early menopause with the dusty private parts she envisioned I had (my H did not tell her he had a vasectomy years ago, so no child from him), loses every friend she has as well as her home, and gets investigated for misappropriation of money and serves time.

And of course, fall in love with a cheater who leaves her for someone 20 years younger when she hits 50.

I can wait.

Oh, and to add, I do get to see her huge face on the evening news now and again. Just not how I dream I will see her some day. She attends every gathering were she knows she will be seen by the TV media.

I do. Every day. If she's not already dead from some awful disease. She was headed that way. But just in case I do.

And of course, fall in love with a cheater who leaves her for someone 20 years younger when she hits 50.

YES! I think the best revenge now would be for her current H to cheat on her. And I think it could happen. She gets mad over the dumbest things. She got mad because he came home to poop and stunk up the house. Um, everybody poops, and you could buy air freshener. LOL.

I am such a horrid person, I have even thought about cheating with him. Paybacks would be to steal her H, but the only problem is that I wouldn't do that. I have some morals. I wouldn't want my kids to think I'm that kind of person. But oh the fantasy is wonderful.

I told him if she was on fire I would not stop to pee on her.

This!!

She is actually kind of a sad and pathetic person - someone I might feel pity for in other circumstances were it not for her selfish, self-centered attempt to destroy our family. Yes, I know my husband almost did that too, but I still have feelings for him and I don't know her from Adam, so I feel free to hate her.

Frankly I think that just being her, every minute of every day, is enough punishment.

Yes I can relate. In our case OW meets up with men on Craigslist so she is putting herself in harms way. She evn has them come to her house without knowing their names. This is what happened with my fWH so that's her MO.

We watched a 48 hrs show where OW was killed and the OM and his BW were pulled in for questioning. That's how the poor BW found out and she failed the lie detector.

So yes these cheaters have opened us to things we would never have been subjected to just by the trash they decided to trade bodily fluids with.

Usually the most harm that I hope on the OW is that before she dies, someone else hurts her as much as she hurt me.

Otherwise, I wouldn't care if the karma bus hit her, backed up, and ran over her again!

(((TheBestMe))) Yes I wished and wanted to harm the MOW for a loooong time. Now I just hope her cancer comes back! MOW knew who i was and had met our children and she too acted boldly on Dday. So yes I do not hope for any best possible outcome for her.

[This message edited by crazyblindsided at 5:45 PM, April 2nd (Wednesday)]

I hope the Other mans head draws up into his ass and has the drizzling shits for the rest of his life. Of course I wish cancer on that mother fucker.

I don't think the desire ever really goes away.

In my case, OW still tries prying into my life via 3rd parties. It reignites my desire to make the bitch suffer.

I just focus on this: if OW is still w/my XH, that is all the harm in the world. He's still the same guy, the only difference is OW moved into my old spot, freeing up her spot as secret side piece. I know about at least 1 confirmed OOW, so I guess that means there is another 5 or 6 out there. Sufficient punishment for OW, in my book.

I occasionally check the online criminal case lookup to see if MOW has been arrested, yet again, for another DUI. I follow that by googling her name to see if she wrapped he car around a tree while driving intoxicated in hopes of reading her obituary. Someday it shall happen and I shall celebrate in the glory of it all.