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User Topic: Wishing Harm To the AP
♀ Member
Member # 42970
Default  Posted: 9:29 PM, May 1st (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I truly believe it is karma. She's in the criminal pages while I'm in the social pages. She gets to wear her bracelets behind her back while my bracelets have diamonds. Yeah, gotta love karma. I can't think of anyone who deserves it more.

BW (me): 41 WH (him): 49
Married 18 years. SD: 26 from his 1st. M. DS: 21 from 1st M. DD: 17 (autistic)
D-day: 10/4/13 with ongoing TT (last TT was 10/2/14).
2 OC with 2 different OW. 15 year A with my sister.

Posts: 320 | Registered: Apr 2014 | From: United States
♀ New Member
Member # 43236
Default  Posted: 9:30 PM, May 1st (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My husband had a one-night stand with a coworker, followed by a telephone friendship that lasted a few months. He has sworn up and down the physical contact was an isolated incident and that afterward, he viewed her as a friend, he said he never loved her or anything close to it and she felt similarly (she also told me the same via an awkward FB chat - that it was a mistake she immediately regretted but, being young and naive, thought their friendship was harmless since it was platonic afterward and was "just talking.") Still, when I recently heard that there was a parking deck collapse at the low-level state university she attends (she's a simpleton, to boot), my first thought was, "I hope that pig was crushed to death." At the very least I hoped her shitty car was demolished. Even though she wasn't the one who betrayed me, she knew he was married, she was my friend on FB, she gave my son a present for his first birthday. She was totally culpable. At first, I contemplated emailing every single one of her FB contacts - friends and family and parents included - and telling them in vivid terms what a piece of shit she was. I had her address and I know where she goes to school - I considered contacting her landlord and professors, too, just to humiliate her,. I quickly realized that doing so would make me appear a fool, though - some naive woman who believes an evil home wrecker tried to dig her claws into her husband when he is the one who broke his vow of exclusivity, not her. Truth is, she is insignificant and not worth my time. Also, how can I in good conscience seek to destroy her while at the same time trying to forgive and rebuild with my seemingly truly remorseful and up-to-this point kind and trustworthy husband? That would neither be fair nor right. She's a diversion, just an embodiment of the problem and not the problem in and of itself. Forgive her in your mind - for your own well-being - and move on. Be happy. The best revenge, after all, is living well.

However, I have many friends at the restaurant she and my husband worked at and since their working together was not going to be an option for me, I asked my husband to request a transfer. Instead, his boss transferred her to another restaurant. I also know the manager at her new restaurant, whom I informed of the real reason for her transfer and guess who gets the shittiest stations every night and is only making about $60 per shift? Looks like someone is going to have trouble financing her subpar education. And I don't feel bad about that at all.

Posts: 39 | Registered: Apr 2014 | From: East Coast
♀ Member
Member # 37735
Default  Posted: 9:31 PM, May 1st (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm still waiting patiently. I hope she gets leprosy

together 25 yrs, married 24 yrs, 4 children;Rebuilding
D Day: 5/10/2011 PA
OW: WH's co-worker,divorced, no children, 20 yrs younger than I-----& she knew he was married, had met our kids, but that did not stop her from trying to destroy our family

Posts: 1396 | Registered: Dec 2012
♀ Member
Member # 32825
Default  Posted: 9:33 PM, May 1st (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I had a lot of those same thoughts over the last year. However, I keep coming back to the fact that my fWW is the OW to her AP's BW. I would hope she wouldn't wish harm on my fWW.

This exactly, just changing the genders. I've actually never wished harm on OW. I've had some very very negative feelings toward her, but for me to think that she deserves any harm because of her actions would mean that FWH deserves the same. He doesn't and neither does she.

She's a person who I don't like and never will, but I don't hope anything bad happens to her. In fact, for her BS's and her children's sake, I hope it doesn't.

Me: BS 35
Him: FWS 43
DDay 7/1/2011
I'm sad there's a typo in my username. I write on my ipad and edit for typos.

Posts: 61 | Registered: Jul 2011
♂ New Member
Member # 41468
Default  Posted: 9:38 PM, May 1st (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I generally like to consider myself to be a kind, warm-hearted individual. That being said, the imagination lying dormant behind these gentle blue eyes does not conform to Christian morals...

I stalk that motherfucker's FB daily, still, after 15 months, with grim hope that his hypothetical syphillis has somehow progressed to cancer. I've actually spent a disturbing amount of time at work thinking about how easily I could destroy him if I saw fit. Clever, subtle ways to completely fuck up his life without him ever knowing it was me. It was pretty sickening, and nothing was ever executed, but I suppose his transgressions warranted such thinking. If I ever met him in person though... fuck.

Anyway, you're obviously not alone here. I hope you, as a Christian, quietly take some comfort in knowing that she'll burn in Hell for all eternity.

Me (BS): 27
Her (WS): 25

DDay #1- 6/09 PA
DDay #2- 3/13 EA

Still riding the roller coaster of ambivalent limbo.

Posts: 28 | Registered: Nov 2013
♀ New Member
Member # 43236
Default  Posted: 9:43 PM, May 1st (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Also, I was FB stalking for a minute there, too. Don't. Feeding your hate will only make it grow and, to paraphrase Shakespeare, those feelings only serve to mock the meat they feed on. The AP isn't hurt by your private hatred in anyway - only YOU are. Chances are the AP isn't thinking about you, so why should you waste your thoughts, energy, and emotion on them? Let it go. It's hard and, believe me, sometimes I fight the urge to check up on her, but I feel so much better when I put her out of my mind than when I allow myself to indulge in my anger.

[This message edited by Thella at 9:48 PM, May 1st (Thursday)]

Posts: 39 | Registered: Apr 2014 | From: East Coast
♀ Member
Member # 38719
Default  Posted: 9:46 PM, May 1st (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I don't wish any violence upon her but it is my deepest wish that she be one the receiving end of a soul shattering betrayal.

Me- 40
Him- 47
March 9, 2013- the day my heart died

Posts: 247 | Registered: Mar 2013 | From: Canada
♀ Member
Member # 18622
Default  Posted: 10:12 PM, May 1st (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I don't care two shits about her now. However, when I was in the thick of DDay's and had had my fill of both of them, I exacted my revenge. (I've posted this before and for some strange reason I saved it - now I know why )

Well, Shrek attempted every way known to whores to wreck my marriage. Once I'd finally reached my boiling point, I DROVE THE DAMN KARMA BUS MYSELF!

1. I made 15 copies of every single smutty email, text message, and chat session (about 75 pages each bundle) and mailed them to her parents, sisters & husbands, brothers & wives, her employer, her best friend, the head of the department of the company she was interviewing with at the time, and her ex-husband since they were in a custody battle. Best $100 I ever spent!

2. I reported her behavior on company time using company resources (cell, land line, and expense account) to her employer.

3. I also informed her employer that she was a regular pot smoker and that they might want to random drug test her - they did!.

#2 & #3 got her terminated from a near 6 figure a year job and the packet I sent to the HR department of the potential employer resulted in her not being hired.

Now, after all that she had the nerve to threaten to sue me and since I am in an alienation of affection state, I invited her to do just that so I could sue her ass right back.

The cherry on top was when I also reminded her that I still had about 15 naked pictures she sent to my husband and I was just waiting for a reason to mail those out as well as use them as Exhibits X, Y, & Z.

Half of the truth is a WHOLE lie.

Posts: 556 | Registered: Mar 2008 | From: Somewhere Over The Rainbow
♂ New Member
Member # 41468
Default  Posted: 1:50 AM, May 2nd (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Chicky, you're my hero.

Me (BS): 27
Her (WS): 25

DDay #1- 6/09 PA
DDay #2- 3/13 EA

Still riding the roller coaster of ambivalent limbo.

Posts: 28 | Registered: Nov 2013
♀ Member
Member # 36671
Default  Posted: 3:13 AM, May 2nd (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Chicky, I wish that I could have done that! Brilliant.

After DD1, when I contacted the BS of main OW to let him know about the affair, his response was not to engage with me because he had known about it for years himself. Personally I wish that a karma bus would somehow affect HIM. I cannot fathom WHY he never tried to end the affair that his wife had been having with my WS for the entire twelve years of his marriage. He knew about it BEFORE they married. Maybe it was possibly because he was infertile and knew that both their children were a product of OW and my WS?

WS had two LTAs of 10 years and 12 years; further 8/9 affairs; EAs, 2 OC. Looks horrific but he is fully immersed in trying to find the 'broken.' It's on-going and painful. If there's a blue sky and sunshine, then it's a good day.

Posts: 168 | Registered: Aug 2012 | From: UK
Member # 41986
Default  Posted: 4:40 AM, May 2nd (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

im the kind of person that is willing to put myself into harms way to save another. ive abandoned cover in firefights to get a wounded member of my team, ive stopped at car wrecks to get people out of the car and give them first aid, i help old ladies down the stairs, i carry the groceries in for my neighbors who arent healthy, etc. its instinctive.

if i saw one of my wifes OM get hit by a car id quite happily go over to them, pull up a chair, stare in their eyes, and talk smack to them as i watched them die in intense pain.

however, i wouldnt push them in front of that car.

me - bh
her - lara01

from 09/11 - 05/13
2 ONS, 10 sexting partners, 1 LT EA/PA

??/06/13 DD/1 - admits to LT EA, begin false R.
01/13/14 DD/2 - LTA was PA.
01/18/14 DD/3 - sexting 5 guys.
01/19/14 DD/4 - 2 ONS with different guys

Posts: 549 | Registered: Jan 2014
♀ Member
Member # 30314
Default  Posted: 6:48 AM, May 2nd (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I did about 25% of what Chicky did and no regrets.
I don't wish them harm, just made it apparent that their intrusion into my marriage was no longer welcome. They got the message.

his Dday: 2/10 but TT until 7/11
my Ddays: 1/12, 4/12 broken NC 12/12

me (WW/BS): 48
him: (BS/WH)52
4 kiddos in mid 20's

The conditions we face do not define us. They remind us of who we are and who we want to be.

Posts: 5236 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: Midwest
♂ Member
Member # 41686
Default  Posted: 7:08 AM, May 2nd (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

At first yes... months into the process. No.. I couldn't give 2 shits about him.

If it wasn't the AP that my fWW had, it would have been a different AP.

BH(me) | fWW
2 Kids - Married 2002
D-Day TT & EA | D-Day #2 PA

Posts: 412 | Registered: Dec 2013
♀ Member
Member # 24719
Default  Posted: 7:18 AM, May 2nd (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yes. Anytime there is a shooting, car accident, etc in her area, I hope it's her.

Although, actually... They've been showing a picture of a girl who used stolen credit cards to purchase 1000's of dollars worth of electronics, hoping for info on her ID. And I am pretty sure it's her. But I don't know her real name.

Me- 40- BS Him- 36- WH D-day#1 5/25/09 3 mo. EA d-day#2 11/06/13 Prostitute 11/5/13 in R
"I've seen your flag on the marble arch, our love is not a victory march, it's a cold and broken hallelujah."- Leonard Cohen

Posts: 2286 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: Midwest
solus sto
♀ Member
Member # 30989
Default  Posted: 7:29 AM, May 2nd (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I wouldn't mind if a tragedy were to befall her, but
I don't think I have to do any wishing. She'll take care of it on her own. An affair with Trac-Fone is pretty self-destructive, so she's off to a darn good start.

BS-me, 52
WH (Trac-fone), 53, PD
2 kids-DD25, DS18
multiple d-days
Alone, most strangely, I live on~Rupert Brooke

Posts: 8827 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: midwest
♀ Member
Member # 40298
Default  Posted: 8:03 AM, May 2nd (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My only wish is that she marries someone that makes her a BS. I would like nothing more than for her to experience the pain she so willingly caused me without batting an eye. I realize she is not totally to blame for the A, and I do hold both her and WH individually 100% responsible for my pain; but she tried to take something priceless away from me -- my family unit. I would like someone to do that to her someday.

I don't think she's ever been married, though, and she is in her mid-40s. She will probably just continue to be an OW. Such class!

Marriage isn't a test, so why cheat?

Posts: 379 | Registered: Aug 2013
♀ Member
Member # 31094
Default  Posted: 10:40 AM, May 2nd (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I wish bad things to the wannabe, every time I think of her, which isn't that often.

She's a serial OW, but I hope she falls head over heels someday, and then HE cheats on her ass.
I also hope that potential OW has many friends that egg him on saying "What your girl doesn't know wont hurt her" "If she really cared about you she'd be out partying with you instead of worrying about her job" and "You should totally hook up with her, she's a fun girl"

(all things the wannabe's friends said to my fiance when she was throwing herself at him and he was telling her no)

Stupid skank. I hope she falls into a sinkhole deeper than her cavernous vagina.

Posts: 3419 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: NWPA
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