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Newest Member: ReasonableDoubt (44577)

New Beginnings Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Wife left me for her boss. Now D
allatsea
♂ Member
Member # 38923
Default  Posted: 5:17 AM, April 4th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hello everyone,

I'm finally here! Just over a year to get divorced. Financial hearing in June and then I'm totally free.

I'm sure there will be some more ups and downs, but for now I'm just happy to be alongside Abbondad and sharing the journey with all of you


Thanks


AAS


Me 40
WW 38
Together 19 years
Married for 9
DS(1) 9
DS(2) 7
Dday 10th Feb 2013
She moved in with POS and took kids 23rd Mar 2013. WW now pregnant
Divorced April 2014

Posts: 651 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: UK
Kajem
♀ Member
Member # 36134
Default  Posted: 6:41 AM, April 4th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Welcome to your new beginning AAS.


I trust you is a better compliment than I love you, because you may not trust the person you love, but you can always love the person you trust. - Unknown
Relationships are like sharing a book, it doesn't work if you're not on the same page.

Posts: 4982 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: Florida
Merlin
♂ Member
Member # 30221
Default  Posted: 7:33 AM, April 4th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

And so begins the task.

Best to all your efforts AAS.


"I never saw a wild thing sorry for itself. A bird will fall frozen dead from a bough without ever having felt sorry for itself." D. H. Lawrence

Her: WW/57 Me: BS/63 24yrs M
3 great kids, now 22, 20, 17 b,b,g
D-Day 8/14/08, D 1/13/11


Posts: 1164 | Registered: Nov 2010 | From: East Coast
Abbondad
♂ Member
Member # 37898
Default  Posted: 7:37 AM, April 4th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Awesome, AAS. We did it. Pull up a stool for a toast.


Divorced April Fool's Day 2014

Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
-Dune


Posts: 1585 | Registered: Dec 2012
Williesmom
♀ Member
Member # 22870
Default  Posted: 7:47 AM, April 4th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Holy Hell! Abbondad is bringing a posse!

Welcome to all.


You can stuff your sorries in a sack, mister. -George Costanza
There is a special place in hell for women who don't help other women. - Madeleine Albright

Posts: 7504 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: Western PA
wildbananas
♀ Member
Member # 10552
Default  Posted: 8:43 AM, April 4th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Welcome, AAS!


Travel light, live light, spread the light, be the light. ~ Yogi Bhajan

Posts: 15379 | Registered: Apr 2006 | From: Now an AZ girl
tushnurse
♀ Member
Member # 21101
Default  Posted: 11:06 AM, April 4th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Wow !!!! Crazy that you both ended up D in the same week.

Congrats.


Me: FBS
Him: FWS
Kids: 15 & 17
Married for 22 years now, was 16 at the time. .
D-Day Sept 26 2008
Fully R'd, and Happy Happy Happy

Posts: 8066 | Registered: Oct 2008 | From: St. Louis
FaithFool
♀ Member
Member # 20150
Default  Posted: 11:08 AM, April 4th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Welcome to our new graduates. Don't forget to check out the Fun and Games thread, especially Stupid Picture Friday.


DDay: June 15, 2008
Mistakenly married Mr. Superfreak
20 years of OWs, WTF?
Divorced Dec 26, 2011
"Life is a shipwreck, but we must not forget
to sing in the lifeboats". -- Voltaire

Posts: 17280 | Registered: Jul 2008 | From: Canada
EvenKeel
♀ Member
Member # 24210
Default  Posted: 11:58 AM, April 4th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Welcome the newbies to NB!


Eyes are useless if the mind is blind.


Posts: 2043 | Registered: May 2009 | From: Pa
wonderingbull
♂ Member
Member # 14833
Default  Posted: 12:41 PM, April 4th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Welcome my man...

Decompress and know that your tomorrows will be better than your yesterdays...

WB


The secret of life is enjoying the passage of time...

James Taylor


Posts: 5968 | Registered: Jun 2007 | From: A better place
seekingright2013
♀ Member
Member # 37991
Default  Posted: 6:33 PM, April 4th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Welcome, AAS! So glad you made it through.


BSO, 53
exWSO, who cares
DD: 11/18/12
DD2: 11/21/12
Kicked him to the curb 11/21/12
I tramp a perpetual journey.
― Walt Whitman, Song of Myself

Posts: 116 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: Red State SE US
Brandon808
♂ Member
Member # 35619
Default  Posted: 10:04 PM, April 5th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Welcome AAS


xBH
D final 8/2012

Posts: 3709 | Registered: May 2012 | From: southeast
homewrecked2011
♀ Member
Member # 34678
Default  Posted: 1:52 AM, April 6th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yay!!! congrats to you for being ready for this part of your life!


me BS 52
him - 46
married 15 years DIVORCED 10 31 12
children - ds15 ds12
d-day 12-19-11
I gave a 24hour ultimatum then went to attorney next day
Divorce filed

Posts: 2024 | Registered: Jan 2012
stronger08
♂ Member
Member # 16953
Default  Posted: 3:03 AM, April 6th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Welcome to the warm side of the pool bro. It sure beats the cold ass deep end that is JFO don't it ? Take your time, don't rush into things and you will be just fine.


You cant eat soup with chopsticks.

Posts: 5589 | Registered: Nov 2007
little turtle
♀ Member
Member # 15584
Default  Posted: 2:03 PM, April 6th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


Failure is success if we learn from it.

Posts: 4138 | Registered: Aug 2007 | From: michigan
ButterflyGirl
♀ Member
Member # 38377
Default  Posted: 6:35 PM, April 6th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

So glad we made it down here. Where shall we start first?

Does an adult hip hop dance class count as a New Beginning?

[This message edited by ButterflyGirl at 6:55 PM, April 6th (Sunday)]


xBW~ 35
Two of the most darling sons ~ 10 and 7

Posts: 2058 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: Florida, USA
allatsea
♂ Member
Member # 38923
Default  Posted: 4:38 AM, April 7th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thanks for making all feel so welcome.

The best group of people I'll probably never meet. You are all such good friends.

Thank you

AAS


Me 40
WW 38
Together 19 years
Married for 9
DS(1) 9
DS(2) 7
Dday 10th Feb 2013
She moved in with POS and took kids 23rd Mar 2013. WW now pregnant
Divorced April 2014

Posts: 651 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: UK
allatsea
♂ Member
Member # 38923
Default  Posted: 9:59 AM, April 8th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My new beginning hasn't got off to the best start. I seem to have regressed many months of healing. My mind spends inappropriate amounts of time dwelling on what I and my boys have lost. The boys don't see it fully yet but I'm feeling sorry for myself and still can't quite believe she did this to me.

I know she claims to have not been happy so I've been replaying our marriage over and over, particularly the last couple of years. I had mild depression but recovered from that quickly. Her life seems rosy and could well be happy, for all I know. But I then think that someone as happy as she purports wouldn't have been so nasty, blame shifting and cruel. I guess I'm still trying to understand.

Meanwhile, my evenings are quite and lonely and hers are full of family, baby talk and my noisy children. She carries on without any perceivable loss to her life. She's lost nothing.

I guess I'm in a bit of a dip in the rollercoaster ride


Me 40
WW 38
Together 19 years
Married for 9
DS(1) 9
DS(2) 7
Dday 10th Feb 2013
She moved in with POS and took kids 23rd Mar 2013. WW now pregnant
Divorced April 2014

Posts: 651 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: UK
norabird
♀ Member
Member # 42092
Default  Posted: 12:39 PM, April 8th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((AAS)))

I think that the momentum of D can help keep the rollercoaster from having so many dips. There is a goal, and you can focus your energy on it.

Now, without that target, it's natural to have more reflection. It's final--that will take some time to sink in.

But she has not lost nothing. She has lost you. And you are wonderful. You know you are not 'nothing', I hope. If she can somehow show no impact from that? Well, of course you can't understand that--it's not normal. And you can't make her understand that it isn't normal, you can't impact the facade she is presenting and prove that it is flawed. How frustrating.

I think to mourn now, to be bewildered and hurt, is natural. I hope you also have new, good things for yourself to focus on. What would those be? Once you've felt the feelings...what do you want to do with those evenings, when you're ready? What do you want your life to be filled by? Don't worry about her so much; that's out of your control. But you have all the control over yourself now.


Sit. Feast on your life.

Posts: 4019 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: NYC
allatsea
♂ Member
Member # 38923
Default  Posted: 12:42 AM, April 9th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Nora,
Thanks so much for your post.
Sometimes I can't see what's right in front of me. Yes, she lait me. I am not nothing.

Next milestone is coping with the wonderful news about the newborn from my children followed shortly after by the financial hearing.

One day at a time



Me 40
WW 38
Together 19 years
Married for 9
DS(1) 9
DS(2) 7
Dday 10th Feb 2013
She moved in with POS and took kids 23rd Mar 2013. WW now pregnant
Divorced April 2014

Posts: 651 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: UK
Topic Posts: 22
Pages: 1 · 2

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