A very politely written email to CXW (not CSTBXWW anymore!!!) about her providing all of teh clothing I needed seemed to trigger a major torrent of abuse from her. Her response went totally off topic and ranted for several paragraphs.

What I found liberating was how I reacted to it. This was the very first time I didn't feel the need to reply directly back defending myself nor did I believe anything it said. I could see it for what it was. A huge amount of self loathing transfered directly to me.

She and I earn the same money.
She is firmly entrenched in the belief that she is entitled to half of the equity in the house despite not having paid any mortgage for over a year. The house has gone up in value by about £15K in the last year. I said she can have 50% of the increase if she pays her half of the mortgage. If she doesn't then she will get half based on the value of the house when valued a year ago.

But no. She expects half of the new value but doesn't believe she should be paying her half of the mortgage. Somehow this is where her rant ended up in response to me asking for a few clothes.

Her solicitor just received a letter stating that direct correspondence should be limited to pertinent queries and details about child contact. All other matters should go through legal channels.

I'm beginning, slowly to get an oily skin like a duck. Water is forming nice big droplets and running cleanly off my back

That is the way these things go when you are divorced from a narcissist. It's good that you are learning to let it just roll off.

'They' will use any opening to rant. So you've learned to keep those opportunities few. And your reaction to her says that you are indeed healing.

Congratulations.