I was ironing a nice dress of DD's today, and she commented that her dad irons the stepsister's clothing. Apparently, the stepsister has some fancy dresses that she wears to visitation with her dad, and it's XWH's job to iron them. When I asked why CommandOwife doesn't iron her own kids' clothes, DD told me that "she's too busy blow drying her hair in the morning."
So, there XWH is, ironing his stepdaughter's clothing in the morning like a housemaid while his wifey administers to her giant pouf of 80s-style hair! I can't begin to tell you how much I love this. He did precious little housework; he sure as heck didn't iron anything other than the occasional shirt for himself.
Gosh, what a horrid wife I was. I should have made him iron clothing and do other chores; maybe he wouldn't have cheated on me if I treated him more like a servant! He must feel so much happier and more fulfilled now that he's "of use."
So, how is your ex "living the life?" Too often on here, we share stories about how these remorseless losers are reaping some sort of benefit-- being paid alimony, taking up with an AP who spoils them, etc. Share your stories of how your ex maybe isn't living that supposedly fantastic life after all. I think we could all use the occasional reality check (and laugh).
He supposedly hates the burbs. He loves living in the city. Its why he did so immediately after we separated. Obviously his latest victim has moved him in with her.
I chuckle now to see that he is wearing the clothes I bought him and looking miserable each morning riding the train to work from the suburbs he supposedly hated. Sucks to be him!
"I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel". –Maya Angelou
Within a week of dday, XH moved in with Skankapotamous Rex because he felt depressed and "trapped" with me. He told me that the AP "gets" him, he had never been so compatible with anyone ever and he needed to be with her. "It was meant to be" and "you can't control who you fall in love with". (blah, blah, blah) So he ran away to be with her. Haven't seen him since.
Three years later, this is his life:
- XH has declared bankruptcy
- AP is cheating on XH with her XH
- XH wants to move out but can't afford to so is stuck at the "haven" (what they called their love nest when he left...low income housing in a not-so-nice part of town); who's trapped now!!!!
- AP has 3 kids that live with them and are all uncontrollable teenagers with attitudes
- He now describes the "love of his life" as a real bitch who drinks at least a bottle of wine every day
- His family has disowned him as he has a pattern of screwing up relationships and they don't want to deal with his bullsh*t anymore.
- His long term friends don't want to get involved in his drama so he only has superficial in-the-moment acquaintances
- XH is stalking his half-brother with woe-is-me stories hoping he'll feel sorry for XH and bail him out (he doesn't feel sorry for him and says XH creeps him out)
- He is almost 50 years old, has a long pattern of broken relationships, no money, no assets, no pension or savings, no friends, no family contact, nowhere to live....nothing. He. Has. Nothing.
How's that for living the life?!
Trying to understand the behaviour of some people is like trying to smell the number 9.
You can't rationalize irrational behavior.
11 years ago tonight I told him to leave, even arranged for his parents to take him in.
In 11 years, he has lost the respect of all 4 DDs.
DD1 barely talks to him.
DD2 doesn't speak to him at all. He hasn't seen DGD in over a year. He wasn't allowed to see her or DD2 at all, because NW forbade him. He cut off DD2's phone as per NW's edict.
He is not allowed to communicate with his family (parents, sibling, nephew and niece) as NW doesn't like them.
He needs NW's permission to buy DD4 an Ice cream.
He is not allowed to help his kids financially in any way. NW won't allow it.
He is expected to put NW's kids, parents, sibling, nieces and nephews before his own. Not equal but better.
All of this because in NW's own words " you're either on team NW or your against team NW!" He HAS to be on tem NW.
My kids tell him he's being emotionally abused. He says yes, and can't/won't do a thing to change the dynamic.
They filed bankruptcy while making close to 250k. His credit score is in the toilet-he used to be so proud of his score.
It sucks to be him! And he deserves it because he's doing nothing to change it!
It's been interesting to watch my kids reaction to this. They've learned a lot about what they want and will allow in a relationship. All thanks to him!
After therapy I emerged from my chrysalis as a new confident woman... OMG in his mind I am now satan's spawn. LOL
He cycled through several woman after the OW and now has his prize.
The control biotch form hell. He is under her rule all the time. All his household stuff was replaced, his wardrobe changed, his time with the kids ruined, his diet changed, and according to the kids they scream at each other constantly.
After we separated he was gaslighting me. Kept telling I was so "negative" because I kept bringing up the past..which was the present because he kept repeating behavior. He gave me a new age book about visualizing my new future through positive thinking.
I threw it away.
My future is now great...btw.
His not so much. I guess he visualized himself his own controlling beotch because he was thinking so much about me???
Regardless, it is pretty damn funny
areyoukidding.....Wow! Talk about karma!
Yep. Karma bit his sorry, lazy ass all right!
I, on the other hand, am doing just fine!
Today, she's finishing out a 10 year probation for embezzlement. Cities don't like it when the clerk decides she's found yet another sack o' money!
His OWifetress accompanies him to work every day and just hangs out because they are soooooo in Lurv that she can't let him out of her sight. (I was too controlling but she is the best thing EVER!!!)
Our adult children barely speak to him if at all because of their attitudes. (They are all home with me this weekend for the IrishLad's Birthday)
He no longer has a relationship with his mother, brother or sister. He no longer speaks to his uncle and his best friend died the day after their wedding after a huge fight between xWH and BF on the phone. (BF refused to go to the wedding because he didn't support xWH ruining his life)
He lives in the house owned by OWifetress and no longer owns his own home (I gave it to him in the D so he could remain living close to IrishLad and cause I am a gold digging, heartless bitch like that )
He no longer buys, fixes up and then sells autos. He used to love doing that on the side for a little extra money and because he is a car buff. I don't believe that OWifetress would support his hobby as it isn't something she is very interested in.
He doesn't ride his Harley or the quads anymore, last I heard the quads were up for sale. He had ridden dirt bikes or quads his whole life.
He is the angriest happy guy on the face of the earth.
Yup, he is living the life
Hello Kitty has two mangy dogs that poop all over the yard. DD said she can't play outside because there's so much dog poop out there. HK told DD that the Gnat is supposed to pick it up, but never does. I see that he's still as passive aggressive as always.
DD is often late for school drop off when spending the night at his house. I asked her once why that is. DD said "Dad has no help with me and my brother. Hello Kitty just sleeps all day long. She wears an eye mask and tells dad we need to be quiet so she can sleep". Sounds peachy, huh. She appears to have no job, but an income. Internet pornstar, maybe?
DD also mentioned once about her brother waking up many times one night. I asked if the Gnat always cared for DS or if HK ever helped him out. DD very sternly said "no, mom. She has no idea how to take care of a baby"!
So much for his glitter and sparkles new family he was creating. He's being bossed around to pick up dog shit and is a single parent while his lurv sleeps the day away. Yes, but I was "controlling" and didn't "support" him.
STBXH has been arrested for trying to meet a minor he met on Craig's List. The charges were dropped, but could be refiled at any time. That's gotta be fun to have hanging over his head. When he was arrested, guess who was the only person he could count on to bail him out before he was sent to county lock-up? The wife who is divorcing him. I have since told him, that I WILL NOT bail him out again.
He went from living in a comfortable house we owned to a teeny tiny one bedroom apartment. Both our credit ratings are trashed because of the foreclosure, but I have a wonderful family that is supporting me. Speaking of family, most of his family is pissed at him and thinks he's an idiot.
STBXH was into casual encounters, so there is no OW to fill the now vacant position of housekeeper/cook/secretary/friend/lover. I doubt he's been celibate since we separated, but I also doubt he's been able to replace our healthy sex-life with on-line ads. So much for cheating because 'he wasn't getting enough sex'.
The ONLY thing he has going for him is the cat. I can't have the cat where I'm living. Lord I miss that cat.
Two steps forward and one step backwards, is still progress.
I now have 50K in loose cash.
Sucks to be XH.
She now has blown all of the money she got and lives paycheck to paycheck like most of the population. Still spends irresponsibly, but now has to pay that debt herself. Me on the other hand threw myself into my career after S/D, recouped most of what I gave up to her, bought my home and car for cash and retired at 50. I know that pisses her off to no end as the way she lives she will have to work until she passes away..... Too bad, so sad..... And lets not forget the "Fiance" who is 15 years younger than her and likes to flirt. Same guy who was flirting so much with my GF the last time we all had to be together that the XWW threw a fit during dinner. It was so noticeable that I made the comment to him that I was not some sort of farm team for him to meet women. My GF and I had a good time watching her squirm.
I too was a controlling bitch. In his mind not going along with EVERYTHING he wanted qualified me for that. In reality I was a dysfunctional codependent doormat, afraid of my own shadow, and in need of a lot of therapy.
Are we twins separated at birth living a paralleled existence?
Stronger08 - FARM TEAM?? OMG
I have no story yet, but have enjoyed reading these stories of the implosion of Unicorn Rainbow Fartland.
He has 2 yappy dogs (he hates dogs)
He lived in a cramped condo with a garage in the front (he HATES those)
His bride doesn't work, thereby putting all the burden on him.
Heh heh heh heh heh.
"Diamonds aren't a girl's best friend, freedom is."
OW is cheating on XWH, she got a job at his place of employment and now knows how stupid he really is...She argues with him about everything (according to my children), and just the other night thought she was having a heart attack.
I heard it wasn't (may I say, too bad), she has to see a cardiologist and has very little money saved up due to the huge Christmas they gave all the kids....
She's on adderall, smokes, drinks coffee and cokes all day and looks very different from 3 years ago when she trolled for a man and pulled up a toad -
The good life ? I don't think so!!
On the other hand, I have the good life... very little $$$ but hanging out with my sons every evening is priceless!
[This message edited by homewrecked2011 at 8:51 AM, April 5th (Saturday)]
He gave me everything out of guilt (tyvm). Mow went back to her BH, so he found a new bar whore (nbw).
NBW doesn't work -she quit her job to support wxh in his endeavor of self employment/personal happiness.
From what I hear, they sit around drinking all day. They're in the process of losing his house, don't have jobs, have creditors looking for them, and a possible warrant for his arrest.
ME? I'm making more money than ever, have 4 dogs that are the bomb, lots of friends, a savings account, and a life that totally kicks ass.
Be happy with what you have while you work for what you want - Hellen Keller