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Newest Member: Sunnyhopeful82 (45341)

New Beginnings Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: What is drama?
tabitha95
♀ Member
Member # 22033
Default  Posted: 7:50 PM, April 4th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I see on OLD profiles and hear from men on dates that they are looking for women without "drama".

I have a few friends that I know create and love drama. But what does it mean in a relationship?

I'm not being naïve, I just wonder how to define such a broad description.

Does anyone claim to be a drama queen?


BW (me) - 45
DS 14, DS 11
D-Day#1: Oct 30, 2008
D-Day#2: June 3, 2011 (same MOW) Separation: June 3, 2011
Divorce finalized: Feb 2012 (due to 6 month waiting period).

Posts: 3250 | Registered: Dec 2008
jemimapd
♀ Member
Member # 37895
Default  Posted: 8:46 PM, April 4th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I think on the surface it means no throwing plates at the wall.

But.... I can imagine my ex writing this and what he would mean by no drama is something quite different: let me do what I want to do, when I want to do it and don't complain or expect me to change my plans or anything about me. I want things all my own way.

It would put me off if I read this in a profile because it comes across as quite negative and patronizing?


Jemima Puddleduck is a trusting soul....
DD 1 Dec 2012; Divorced 11/13; 2 children
Me: BS (47) Him: WH (52) Her: 3 PA's
Ex bought a house, The Money Pit With Mold That Will Never Be Finished. He's living in the basement.

Posts: 726 | Registered: Dec 2012
cmego
♀ Member
Member # 30346
Default  Posted: 10:03 PM, April 4th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

To me it means that they don't want to hear about what your ex is constantly doing and how much you hate them. How there is ALWAYS drama about everything. Over the top emotions about EVERYTHING. Your family, your job, your cat.

It could also mean they don't like being told what to do, but I don't instantly take it as a negative.

I don't like to be around constant drama either. If the guy does nothing but talk about what a witch his ex is, and "You'll never guess what she did NOW??!!" and whiny about everything…then I'm out. I just can't take the over the top emotions about everything. It has nothing to do with me being left alone/told what to do. It just means by the time I'm dating you, I think the majority of the drama of your past is DONE and you don't create new drama.

That is why I stay away from separated guys, too much drama going on at the end of a marriage.


me...BS, 43 years old, 2 small kids
WS, 41, multiple gay affairs
M 15 years, together 17
Divorced

"For whatever we lose, like a you or a me, it's always ourselves we find in the sea" ee cummings


Posts: 4185 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: South
Rainbows
♀ Member
Member # 39362
Default  Posted: 8:49 AM, April 7th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I know people who I'd consider drama and they're the ones who complain or have an opinion about everything.

Someone is always out to get them, they're always getting screwed over somehow, and nothing ever goes their way. Starbucks never gets their order right, the waiter brought the wrong thing, their boss plays favorites, never ending health problems, etc.

With drama people everything is an issue and there's always an problem. We all complain from time to time, but drama people do it all the time, it's their state of being.

It's really draining for me to be around drama people. I usually distance myself and cut them out.


There is always a rainbow after every storm.

Posts: 411 | Registered: May 2013 | From: California
Weatherly
♀ Member
Member # 18222
Default  Posted: 9:48 AM, April 7th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

When i was doing OLD, it seemed like the guys who felt it necessary to say they didn't want drama were the ones who had the most of it.

Their ex's screwed them over.

Their boss hates them.

Their car broke down.

The bank "accidentally" made a withdrawal and that's why you have to buy dinner.

Etc.

I'm guessing it means YOU aren't allowed to have or talk about any of those types of problems.


Me-29,Two boys, 10 and 9

It will all be ok in the end. If it's not ok, it's not the end

Happily remarried to a wonderful man (Aussie). I think I found the right guy and the right finger this time.


Posts: 4490 | Registered: Feb 2008 | From: Indiana
Crescita
♀ Member
Member # 32616
Default  Posted: 11:39 AM, April 7th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

What Weatherly said. Run from people who have to advertise their aversion to drama. They are drama and everyone who disagrees with them will be labelled as such.

Posts: 3445 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: The Valley of the Sun
absolut
♀ Member
Member # 37933
Default  Posted: 11:48 AM, April 7th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

agree with two above.

Nobody likes a bunch of craziness in their life. If he feels the need to put it out there... something is very off.

On a side note, I once dated a guy who would say "I don't do drama" or "I don't do arguments" etc as a way to shut down any kind of disagreement from me. He acted pretty outlandishly, would make plans for us without checking with me first etc. One time he arranged a nice dinner at a hotel for us, and then I overheard him on the phone right before we were leaving inviting a couple he knew I couldn't stand (they were rude to me). When I said something, I was picking a fight, drama, etc. So yeah I think it's often just a guy who just wants the good parts of a relationship.


Posts: 421 | Registered: Dec 2012
trumanshow
♀ Member
Member # 25624
Default  Posted: 7:35 AM, April 8th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

They want the screwing and fun


Any legitimate concerns or real-life intrusion will be "drama"


Your ex wanting to be friends is like asking a kidnapper to stay in touch when they let you go.

The type of fierce loyalty that I possess made me incapable of comprehending the level of disloyalty that he possessed


Posts: 1753 | Registered: Sep 2009 | From: Charlotte, NC
Topic Posts: 8

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